All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Beginnings and Endings"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
105 total reviews
Comment from Hollyhock
Really enjoyed this one. Loved the concept of writing for waltz music and yes, I like the idea of the chorus but think I prefer the last stanza rather than the fourth as indicated in your notes.
The comparison between the acceptance of the world as a child and the questioning of the adult is extremely well done and the final line bears out the images of - turning tides - merry-go-round - circles - plus all the images in the previous three lines.
Life is ever changing and perpetual - beautiful thoughts.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Really enjoyed this one. Loved the concept of writing for waltz music and yes, I like the idea of the chorus but think I prefer the last stanza rather than the fourth as indicated in your notes.
The comparison between the acceptance of the world as a child and the questioning of the adult is extremely well done and the final line bears out the images of - turning tides - merry-go-round - circles - plus all the images in the previous three lines.
Life is ever changing and perpetual - beautiful thoughts.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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thank you so much Andrea! I have someone playing with music and words at the moment, so I'll play with that stanza as a refrain as well ... see how it works!
Bless you - I'd hoped you'd like this one, living as you so, so "seasonally' - very much a part of your awareness (mine too). :)S
Comment from jgirlie152
Terrific poem of our lives here on earth, spinning and whorling and watching stars glow. The mirror doesn't lie, but it takes getting used to, always be proud of each line that you see, it means you lived life as meant to be.
You've done a great job of writing this, congratulations and best wishes for your contest.
Joan
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Terrific poem of our lives here on earth, spinning and whorling and watching stars glow. The mirror doesn't lie, but it takes getting used to, always be proud of each line that you see, it means you lived life as meant to be.
You've done a great job of writing this, congratulations and best wishes for your contest.
Joan
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much Joan - one has to find good thoughts to go with those lines, that's for sure! blessings for your magic six on this one!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Gianinas
OK! If you invite me so politely, I will waltz with you.
The last paragraph of the notes, almost make it mandatory.
By the way, the first paragraph of the said notes, made my mind curl...:) Thank you for it, very informational, in all honesty.
You speak of vortex and gyres too, almost to impress me, it seems.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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OK! If you invite me so politely, I will waltz with you.
The last paragraph of the notes, almost make it mandatory.
By the way, the first paragraph of the said notes, made my mind curl...:) Thank you for it, very informational, in all honesty.
You speak of vortex and gyres too, almost to impress me, it seems.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Not at all dear - we have some scientific minds amongst our readers, and the terms are subtly different. Personally, I'd hate to admit it, but I rarely read author notes unless I'm puzzled by something. Think of it that way, and your mind will come uncurled. Trust me on this! :)))S
Comment from GracieAnn
This poem is solidly written following the parameters of the iambic and rhyming pattern mentioned. The lines "So, gyred and whorling, we're here by Design, we're helixes, vortexes, one giant wheel, created as humans, with purpose divine -
beginnings and endings will never be real" creates the mental and almost physical feeling of movement. Reality, I think, won't be experienced until we begin a new life for eternity after we die. :0 GracieAnn
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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This poem is solidly written following the parameters of the iambic and rhyming pattern mentioned. The lines "So, gyred and whorling, we're here by Design, we're helixes, vortexes, one giant wheel, created as humans, with purpose divine -
beginnings and endings will never be real" creates the mental and almost physical feeling of movement. Reality, I think, won't be experienced until we begin a new life for eternity after we die. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Bless you GracieAnn! Thank you very much for joining in the dance dear! :)Sharyn
Comment from webfoot
An excellent poem. Yes I could hear waltz music as I read it.
This is a profound look at our "existence" in the universe.
The thought that maybe we are "divine" and a part of what we see "up there" when we look at the stars, is a beautiful perspective.
The illustration is gorgeous
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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An excellent poem. Yes I could hear waltz music as I read it.
This is a profound look at our "existence" in the universe.
The thought that maybe we are "divine" and a part of what we see "up there" when we look at the stars, is a beautiful perspective.
The illustration is gorgeous
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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So glad you enjoyed this one - thank you so much!
Best wishes
Sharyn :)
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you're welcome Visionary
Comment from me_tudor
A very deep poem there Sharyn. But it's all true. When we are young nothing seems out of place but the older we get the more we wonder what our roles are. Great job!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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A very deep poem there Sharyn. But it's all true. When we are young nothing seems out of place but the older we get the more we wonder what our roles are. Great job!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Yes, we do tend to ask a lot of questions, hmm? thank you so much for another read of my work! :)Sharyn
Comment from Cookie333
My toes were tapping with this piece, I hadn't even noticed I was doing it. The rhythm was just right for this waltzing reader.
Thanks for sharing
K
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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My toes were tapping with this piece, I hadn't even noticed I was doing it. The rhythm was just right for this waltzing reader.
Thanks for sharing
K
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
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Glad you caught it Cookie - thx heaps! :)Sharyn
Comment from Alan K Pease
A lovely poem of fates manicured by excellent notes circumscribing what you want us to think about when we read your poem.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
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A lovely poem of fates manicured by excellent notes circumscribing what you want us to think about when we read your poem.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
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Thx so much Alan! :)Sharyn
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
Sharyn, you did a super job on this write. I envy your talents, they inspire me, at pass 90, to keep striving to polish and improve my own. For what it counts, put me on your purpose list.
I believe that God gives us talents to use or lose.
You are making good use of some of yours. Your have earned an extra star.
One of your many admirers, Bob
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
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Sharyn, you did a super job on this write. I envy your talents, they inspire me, at pass 90, to keep striving to polish and improve my own. For what it counts, put me on your purpose list.
I believe that God gives us talents to use or lose.
You are making good use of some of yours. Your have earned an extra star.
One of your many admirers, Bob
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
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lovely Bob - I was pretty sure you'd get a kick out of this one, my dear friend, and I'm so glad you did! Thank you for your lovely six - so much appreciated. If I get one of those from you, I know I'm doing something right!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Sararb
A great job that you did with this one. I think as we grow older we think more about the beginning, ending and in between. What course is our life taking and why are we here. There are so many unanswered questions that we will never know the answer too. I loved this poem. Sara :)
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
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A great job that you did with this one. I think as we grow older we think more about the beginning, ending and in between. What course is our life taking and why are we here. There are so many unanswered questions that we will never know the answer too. I loved this poem. Sara :)
Comment Written 25-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2013
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I'm so delighted that you liked this one Sara! Yes, we do ask those questions, don't we? Bless you for your lovely, and greatly appreciated, six on this one!
:)Sharyn