'Simplicity' or just simple ?
I feel happy today20 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
You must be an early bird then getting up at 5 am. I am more a night person. I can fully relate to your last stanza. Is your wife keeping alright then?
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You must be an early bird then getting up at 5 am. I am more a night person. I can fully relate to your last stanza. Is your wife keeping alright then?
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from adewpearl
solid rhyming couplets
good flow in your lines when spoken aloud
nice touches of alliteration like in beautiful blooms
excellent use of illustrative examples to support your thoughtful point
my day's happiness - add apostrophe for possessive
a wonderful poem of celebration for the simple things in life - great message about how it's all a matter of perspective and choice :-) Brooke
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solid rhyming couplets
good flow in your lines when spoken aloud
nice touches of alliteration like in beautiful blooms
excellent use of illustrative examples to support your thoughtful point
my day's happiness - add apostrophe for possessive
a wonderful poem of celebration for the simple things in life - great message about how it's all a matter of perspective and choice :-) Brooke
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from country ranch writer
ITS SCOTLAND YE COME FROM I SAY HELLO I AM NOT SCOTT BUT FRENCH, IRISH AND ENGLISH. MY GRANDDAD WAS FROM CANADA.IF THEY DO NOT LIKE YOU BOROUGH THEY DON'T HAVE TO STOP AND READ IT SOME ONE WHO APPRECIATES IT WILL
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ITS SCOTLAND YE COME FROM I SAY HELLO I AM NOT SCOTT BUT FRENCH, IRISH AND ENGLISH. MY GRANDDAD WAS FROM CANADA.IF THEY DO NOT LIKE YOU BOROUGH THEY DON'T HAVE TO STOP AND READ IT SOME ONE WHO APPRECIATES IT WILL
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from mohiro
You don't write this sort of poetry without having been seized by a strong muse. It requires steadfastness, persistence to sticking to a train of connected thoughts, one leading to the other, pulling a kaleidoscope of rich imagery out of the brain-box until the final picture emerges.
The AABB rhyme scheme gave the poem a sing-song feel. The rhythm is equally appealing.
Thanks for sharing.
Best wishes always.
Mohiro.
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You don't write this sort of poetry without having been seized by a strong muse. It requires steadfastness, persistence to sticking to a train of connected thoughts, one leading to the other, pulling a kaleidoscope of rich imagery out of the brain-box until the final picture emerges.
The AABB rhyme scheme gave the poem a sing-song feel. The rhythm is equally appealing.
Thanks for sharing.
Best wishes always.
Mohiro.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from Darkhorse555
it sure is the simple things in life that means the most sometimes all it takes is a little faith and understanding this is a lovely piece
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it sure is the simple things in life that means the most sometimes all it takes is a little faith and understanding this is a lovely piece
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer does a good job of sticking with the aabb rhyme scheme. This piece has good rhyming. The flow is good as the writer does a good job of not forcing the rhymes. The photo compliments the piece well as this piece holds my attention from start to finish.
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The writer does a good job of sticking with the aabb rhyme scheme. This piece has good rhyming. The flow is good as the writer does a good job of not forcing the rhymes. The photo compliments the piece well as this piece holds my attention from start to finish.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
Nicely written with a great positive philosophy for life.
Nicely written and rhymed and a great little tale to tell.
How grand to work with tings you love and look forward with pleasure each day.
A delightful violet.
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Nicely written with a great positive philosophy for life.
Nicely written and rhymed and a great little tale to tell.
How grand to work with tings you love and look forward with pleasure each day.
A delightful violet.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from Antonin70
Now, I read your profile first so I would be able to take a measured and impartial attitude towards your work, that is as I understand it what you would wish. Your overall message seems to be that all of life, well every part of the day, can be enjoyable if only you approach it in the right spirit. My main problem with the way you have gone about this is in lines like 'simple things make for happy thoughts'. It is a very subjective statement. I fully agree that they can do, but they don't always. I think this is where you should concentrate on your work. Your Scottish dialect in no way worries me, my mother was Glaswegian, but your expectation of happiness for which you have not worked but seem to think is yours by right if you want it, is really rather arrogant. As I was able to read it out loud in a broad Scottish accent this did make it better but I soon tired of it. My main criticism is that the poem is far too long and repetitive. If you had managed to get your message across in thirty per cent of the words you used it would have been sharper, more acceptable and, I honestly believe, more satisfying to you too! But do carry on being happy and saying so in your writing, there can never be anything wrong with that. Thanks for posting. Anton.
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Now, I read your profile first so I would be able to take a measured and impartial attitude towards your work, that is as I understand it what you would wish. Your overall message seems to be that all of life, well every part of the day, can be enjoyable if only you approach it in the right spirit. My main problem with the way you have gone about this is in lines like 'simple things make for happy thoughts'. It is a very subjective statement. I fully agree that they can do, but they don't always. I think this is where you should concentrate on your work. Your Scottish dialect in no way worries me, my mother was Glaswegian, but your expectation of happiness for which you have not worked but seem to think is yours by right if you want it, is really rather arrogant. As I was able to read it out loud in a broad Scottish accent this did make it better but I soon tired of it. My main criticism is that the poem is far too long and repetitive. If you had managed to get your message across in thirty per cent of the words you used it would have been sharper, more acceptable and, I honestly believe, more satisfying to you too! But do carry on being happy and saying so in your writing, there can never be anything wrong with that. Thanks for posting. Anton.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Good morning, Alex,
This is an excellent poem with good flow,rhyme and figurative language. It has a nice structure;lines and stanzas and plenty of white space. The capitals in the 3rd stanza from the bottom are effective emphasis. Happiness is indeed a state of mind and it comes from within.
Preston
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Good morning, Alex,
This is an excellent poem with good flow,rhyme and figurative language. It has a nice structure;lines and stanzas and plenty of white space. The capitals in the 3rd stanza from the bottom are effective emphasis. Happiness is indeed a state of mind and it comes from within.
Preston
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
Comment from trevorletang
Alex ' I'm writing this review as I listen to you read - a happy experience and new for me to listen to someone afar off extolling the simplicities of his happy life. I think your post is very creative and moving. How fortunate you are to live the whole day happy through. You have reached that fabled state of contentment -I hope nothing shatters it for you.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Alex ' I'm writing this review as I listen to you read - a happy experience and new for me to listen to someone afar off extolling the simplicities of his happy life. I think your post is very creative and moving. How fortunate you are to live the whole day happy through. You have reached that fabled state of contentment -I hope nothing shatters it for you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
