Dancing to an Imperfect Tune
On losing eyesight20 total reviews
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello amada I read your very touching non-fiction story and I must say I could fee the inner joy of who ever was dancing when they were not able to see.
The action scenes in the kitchen to me were great.
Gert
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Hello amada I read your very touching non-fiction story and I must say I could fee the inner joy of who ever was dancing when they were not able to see.
The action scenes in the kitchen to me were great.
Gert
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Thank you dear friend for reading my 'dancing in the kitchen." It's a late thank you but meaningful.
Comment from yachtworknz
Opening lines-
I like that opening much better. I stumbled at the "and cloudy" as it was a bit long and of course with bandages on the cloudy does not fit the picture, but its a big improvement. nice work.
After another eye surgery, my eyes were heavily bandaged that cold and cloudy afternoon in early February.
That is a strange tence for the mind. How about startign with My eyes were heavily... and maybe even presnet tense, with a little hospital smell, betidine, and the feel of the gause, to set the opening...
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Opening lines-
I like that opening much better. I stumbled at the "and cloudy" as it was a bit long and of course with bandages on the cloudy does not fit the picture, but its a big improvement. nice work.
After another eye surgery, my eyes were heavily bandaged that cold and cloudy afternoon in early February.
That is a strange tence for the mind. How about startign with My eyes were heavily... and maybe even presnet tense, with a little hospital smell, betidine, and the feel of the gause, to set the opening...
Comment Written 15-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much for this very helpful review and comments.
Comment from bayoupoet
Amada, this is very good! I love the way you embraced reality in this story and danced away the blues, and came to grips with your new reality. Good Luck in the Nonfiction Writing Contest!
sandra
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Amada, this is very good! I love the way you embraced reality in this story and danced away the blues, and came to grips with your new reality. Good Luck in the Nonfiction Writing Contest!
sandra
Comment Written 14-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Thank you Sandra for reading my work and for the inspiring comments.
Comment from Nuad1
Goose bumps is what I am experiencing as I read your work this morning. An absolutely uplifting life story that should be a mandatory Baby Boomer read! The ability to WRITE OUT "things" is a gift from God to keep our lives sane and productive. You've got the gift . . keep on using it and I will keep on reading it!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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Goose bumps is what I am experiencing as I read your work this morning. An absolutely uplifting life story that should be a mandatory Baby Boomer read! The ability to WRITE OUT "things" is a gift from God to keep our lives sane and productive. You've got the gift . . keep on using it and I will keep on reading it!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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What a great thing to say. Writing is a gift from God, oh dear, I wish you as well, many gifts from Him.
Comment from DALLAS01
What a beautiful write. Thank you for sharing this enlightening experience. Your imagery is so vivid that I could see your every move. Your attitude and acceptance is a lesson in gratitude and humility. My favorite passage is:
At the first strains of "Baby I Need Your Loving" I was swaying side to side with gusto, raising my shoulders to match my surprising hip movements. The tired linoleum floor became a sparkling dance hall, the shy hanging light became a sparkling chandelier, and the submissive chairs became my attentive audience.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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What a beautiful write. Thank you for sharing this enlightening experience. Your imagery is so vivid that I could see your every move. Your attitude and acceptance is a lesson in gratitude and humility. My favorite passage is:
At the first strains of "Baby I Need Your Loving" I was swaying side to side with gusto, raising my shoulders to match my surprising hip movements. The tired linoleum floor became a sparkling dance hall, the shy hanging light became a sparkling chandelier, and the submissive chairs became my attentive audience.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2013
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What a great and inspiring review dear friend. Many blessings to you.
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You're welcome.
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
the several layers of a sound--I love this thought. It is nice to keep a positive attitude during our down times. You son knew this. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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the several layers of a sound--I love this thought. It is nice to keep a positive attitude during our down times. You son knew this. Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thank you for reading my work and for the positive review.
Comment from Julie G
I think you mean "serenading" down there someplace. What an imaginary and uplifting story. I loved every minute of it. And, oh how important the lesson it teaches! We can lose some part of ourselves, but it takes lots to hold down the whole of who we are if we but take time to let go and find that flash of response we all keep under such good control. Let it go. Feel the music, it is everywhere and, you have given us a lovely gift with this beautiful writing.
Love,
Julie G
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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I think you mean "serenading" down there someplace. What an imaginary and uplifting story. I loved every minute of it. And, oh how important the lesson it teaches! We can lose some part of ourselves, but it takes lots to hold down the whole of who we are if we but take time to let go and find that flash of response we all keep under such good control. Let it go. Feel the music, it is everywhere and, you have given us a lovely gift with this beautiful writing.
Love,
Julie G
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thank you dear friend, thank you.
Comment from robina1978
You had an eye operation a while ago, right? What a perfect gift from your son, that made you use other senses and enjoy life again. Why is your eyesight getting worse over time, even though you had the op?
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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You had an eye operation a while ago, right? What a perfect gift from your son, that made you use other senses and enjoy life again. Why is your eyesight getting worse over time, even though you had the op?
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Yes, my son in town help me a lot. My other son, the one out of town helps me spiritually. Thank you for your lovely review.
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welcome, Ine
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend I admirer your honesty in this writing because I know exactly how you feel I have been partially sighted now for 22 years but I will not give up on the thought that things will get better for me I wont go down without a fight . Yes I do have a lot wrong with my eyes but like you it doesn't change the person I am and how I see things it enhances my other senses. This is well written full of positivity as I face another hurdle with my sight this is what I needed to read thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings my friend regards Jill
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Hello my friend I admirer your honesty in this writing because I know exactly how you feel I have been partially sighted now for 22 years but I will not give up on the thought that things will get better for me I wont go down without a fight . Yes I do have a lot wrong with my eyes but like you it doesn't change the person I am and how I see things it enhances my other senses. This is well written full of positivity as I face another hurdle with my sight this is what I needed to read thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings my friend regards Jill
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Yes, Jill, let's keep a positive attitude. You can write me anytime and we'll cheer each other. Thank you for the great comments.
Comment from Joan E.
Ah, this is the back-story you were referring to about your eyesight. Thank you for having the courage to share your challenge. I admired your building the suspense at the beginning by appealing to our senses of sight, touch, smell and finally sound. I particularly enjoyed your "magic wand" and "guitar string" similes. Your description of the scene shifting to a "dance hall" is magical. And your conclusion is magnificent: yes, you are "vividly present" and the rest of your "senses grow deeper". Continue to enjoy life and best wishes in the contest as well. I only regret the site will not let me award this splendid work with the six it deserves. Hugs- Joan
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Ah, this is the back-story you were referring to about your eyesight. Thank you for having the courage to share your challenge. I admired your building the suspense at the beginning by appealing to our senses of sight, touch, smell and finally sound. I particularly enjoyed your "magic wand" and "guitar string" similes. Your description of the scene shifting to a "dance hall" is magical. And your conclusion is magnificent: yes, you are "vividly present" and the rest of your "senses grow deeper". Continue to enjoy life and best wishes in the contest as well. I only regret the site will not let me award this splendid work with the six it deserves. Hugs- Joan
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much dear Joan!
