All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Song for Rose"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
66 total reviews
Comment from poetbear
I am so sorry.
This is incredibly written and hits home at many levels.
Might want to read it to the family.
I have some angels watching over me.
As a reformed Jewish woman, I appreciate what you have said her.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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I am so sorry.
This is incredibly written and hits home at many levels.
Might want to read it to the family.
I have some angels watching over me.
As a reformed Jewish woman, I appreciate what you have said her.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2013
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aah, yes, I wrote this one for my Jewish mother-in-law who died 2 weeks ago. She was an unforgettable character. Thank you so much for your lovely six on this one too! I'm always delighted when someone 'gets' my work, and is touched by it. It makes ME feel good too!
:)S
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Sharyn,
A very moving and beautiful poem of parting. The unusual switch of metre had me going at first, but, on rereading (out loud), it all fell into place. I love the choice of your farewell song to your mother-in-law. I immediately called it up on my music machine and it really is an inspired and comforting choice for the sad moment. I can well understand how you must have been suffering when singing it. I recall singing (in my shattered baritone) a song called "All through the night" to a dear Welsh friend who was bedridden in her latter days. It was well worth it for the pleasure it brought her, but it was hard. Blessings.
Reg
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Dear Sharyn,
A very moving and beautiful poem of parting. The unusual switch of metre had me going at first, but, on rereading (out loud), it all fell into place. I love the choice of your farewell song to your mother-in-law. I immediately called it up on my music machine and it really is an inspired and comforting choice for the sad moment. I can well understand how you must have been suffering when singing it. I recall singing (in my shattered baritone) a song called "All through the night" to a dear Welsh friend who was bedridden in her latter days. It was well worth it for the pleasure it brought her, but it was hard. Blessings.
Reg
Comment Written 12-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Thank you so very much Reg - glad you got the meter change, and yes, MUST be read aloud. I remember "All Through the Night", by the way - I used to batter it in the school band when I was ten years old, on a fife! And yes, hard, but well worth it. Blessings, dear! :)Sharyn
Comment from wordsareus
Sorry to read about the passing of your mother-in-law Rose. The song you wrote for her is simply beautiful and a lovely entry for the Quatrains poetry contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Sorry to read about the passing of your mother-in-law Rose. The song you wrote for her is simply beautiful and a lovely entry for the Quatrains poetry contest.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2013
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Bless you my dear - we were all relieved that she finally passed peacefully. She was very much a 'character' and, as such, will definitely be missed!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Charlene0513
To visionary1234,
It is always hard to let go especially when it is a dearly beloved person.
In keeping with the ABAB scheme your quatrains flowed nicely and showed good conjunctive statements.
Charlene
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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To visionary1234,
It is always hard to let go especially when it is a dearly beloved person.
In keeping with the ABAB scheme your quatrains flowed nicely and showed good conjunctive statements.
Charlene
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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thx Charlene :)Sharyn
Comment from Sally Carter
Very, very beautiful. What a tender poem to write to someone leaving this world.
I love what you did with the meter, which I took pleasure in working out for myself before I looked at the author notes. Unusual, but it works perfectly. And I never have a problem with feminine line endings. They are beautifully used in that last verse, suggesting a lightness in the new beginning you write of.
The meter in one line might possibly be a wee bit stronger - not saying it's wrong as it is, but there may be better possibilities -
spirit's free now to take flight
possibly a slightly unnatural push on "to"?
I don't like raising issues on a poem as poignant and personal as this, but nor do I like not mentioning things, so hope you don't mind.
I send my condolences and hope the family find peace in Rose's passing.
Yours
Sally
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Very, very beautiful. What a tender poem to write to someone leaving this world.
I love what you did with the meter, which I took pleasure in working out for myself before I looked at the author notes. Unusual, but it works perfectly. And I never have a problem with feminine line endings. They are beautifully used in that last verse, suggesting a lightness in the new beginning you write of.
The meter in one line might possibly be a wee bit stronger - not saying it's wrong as it is, but there may be better possibilities -
spirit's free now to take flight
possibly a slightly unnatural push on "to"?
I don't like raising issues on a poem as poignant and personal as this, but nor do I like not mentioning things, so hope you don't mind.
I send my condolences and hope the family find peace in Rose's passing.
Yours
Sally
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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I thought the same thing, Sally, re 'to' ... and will certainly think about it some when when I have some time.
Blessings
Sharyn
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I am so sorry for your family's loss, Sharyn. Rose was obviously well loved, she sounds as if she was a wonderful person. I love the words, Sharyn, just beautiful, I am sure she is smiling at you now. Take care, and God be with you. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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I am so sorry for your family's loss, Sharyn. Rose was obviously well loved, she sounds as if she was a wonderful person. I love the words, Sharyn, just beautiful, I am sure she is smiling at you now. Take care, and God be with you. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 11-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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She was indeed well loved, Sandra, full of life (though that sometimes made her a bit of an old devil as well!) - but yes, she will be missed. Thx so much! :)Sharyn
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hi there Sharyn
You are such a sweetheart. To do that for Rose was an act of pure love. God will bless you for that. The last week of my Mother's life, I spent the week with her. I sang every song she asked for. She is gone since 1989, but that week long memory will last until we meet again. You are such a fine Lady
Bear
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Hi there Sharyn
You are such a sweetheart. To do that for Rose was an act of pure love. God will bless you for that. The last week of my Mother's life, I spent the week with her. I sang every song she asked for. She is gone since 1989, but that week long memory will last until we meet again. You are such a fine Lady
Bear
Comment Written 10-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Bless you Bear! :)Sharyn
Comment from McMurry903
This is a wonderful tribute to your mother in law, Sharyn. Very tender and heartfelt. She's been blessed with a very long life and loving family, what more could anyone ask for. I'm certain she's in a better place now. Very well done, my friend.
Brian
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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This is a wonderful tribute to your mother in law, Sharyn. Very tender and heartfelt. She's been blessed with a very long life and loving family, what more could anyone ask for. I'm certain she's in a better place now. Very well done, my friend.
Brian
Comment Written 10-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Thx so much Brian! :)S
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sharyn,
such a touching and thoughtful write. It touched me on different levels and emotions did come flooding back. Just like this calm and ascending poem, I reflect and hope that your husband, yourself and all of the family celebrate Rose's life in the way that signifies the true soul she is ... Eternally ... Truly beautiful Sharyn.
Kindest thoughts, to you and your husband,
James xx
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Hi Sharyn,
such a touching and thoughtful write. It touched me on different levels and emotions did come flooding back. Just like this calm and ascending poem, I reflect and hope that your husband, yourself and all of the family celebrate Rose's life in the way that signifies the true soul she is ... Eternally ... Truly beautiful Sharyn.
Kindest thoughts, to you and your husband,
James xx
Comment Written 10-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Bless you James! and again for your wonderful six! Rose was full of life and will be missed! :)Sharyn
Comment from Brumar97
You used beautiful words to tell a beautiful story. I enjoyed the back story as well. The only flaw I found was that I would have liked it to be longer... more back story integrated into the poem itself. Fiddler on the Roof is one of my favorites too! Thank you for sharing:)
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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You used beautiful words to tell a beautiful story. I enjoyed the back story as well. The only flaw I found was that I would have liked it to be longer... more back story integrated into the poem itself. Fiddler on the Roof is one of my favorites too! Thank you for sharing:)
Comment Written 10-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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thx so much Brumar! I LOVE that show! :)S