Comment from krys123

Excellent

Is t his or her canvass. If it's like Leonardo's canvass it's his plain canvass. Otherwise the concept, context, metaphor (like her face to a canvass) an imagery of course.
Plus with the talcum she would smell nice.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013

Thank you Krys123! It's her canvas.

Comment from MoonMuse

Average

I like the concept of your poem, and I love the tone. However, it's not at all in the 5-7-5 format. You're well over the syllable count for your lines. I'm so sorry. If you can't slim this down to fit the form, it's a great start to perhaps something in free verse.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013

Thank you very much!!! i'm very new here, less than an hour yet, and perhaps even more 'green' with my poem writing. Got on this site for reviews like this and to learn.

I am just able to put words and thoughts together perhaps sweetly but i know no rule of poetry. I'll learn here as we go along. :)

Your advice is well taken.

Comment from Betty Bleen

Good

I liked this, short but sweet. Unfortunately it does not adhere to the 5 7 5 rule. Also, there is one spelling error, (canvas) you might want to change.

 Comment Written 04-Jun-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013

Thank you very much!!! i'm very new here, less than an hour yet, and perhaps even more 'green' with my poem writing. Got on this site for reviews like this and to learn.

I am just able to put words and thoughts together perhaps sweetly but i know no rule of poetry. I'll learn here as we go along. :)

Your advice is well taken and with regards to the spelling 'error' i'll check again, i write from Nigeria though and we do the British English.

* Thank you Betty for the Eagle Eye, seen your point, 'Canvas', i've effected the correction. Thanks