Bedtime Talk
6 year old becomes a mediator of love22 total reviews
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
"um"
"Um..."
Wouldn't it be nice if all break-ups could have a happy ending like this one. I enjoyed reading this. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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"um"
"Um..."
Wouldn't it be nice if all break-ups could have a happy ending like this one. I enjoyed reading this. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2013
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Yes, it's a little much in that department (neat, happy ending) but
it's true that all things are possible with God and He does heal broken hearts. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Comment from marion
Hi Deniz22
Congratulations as a nominee in Story of the Month! There must have been some very good qualities for Bedtime Talk to be selected. For me, the dialogue is six star perfect. I have to be honest, and say I found the story a bit ... well ... I'll leave it at that! And not overly original. BUT it doesn't mean it isn't well written, and it doesn't mean I don't get the beautiful innocence of children and the indirect power they have to do so much good, as portrayed in this little story. Well done there. Marion.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Hi Deniz22
Congratulations as a nominee in Story of the Month! There must have been some very good qualities for Bedtime Talk to be selected. For me, the dialogue is six star perfect. I have to be honest, and say I found the story a bit ... well ... I'll leave it at that! And not overly original. BUT it doesn't mean it isn't well written, and it doesn't mean I don't get the beautiful innocence of children and the indirect power they have to do so much good, as portrayed in this little story. Well done there. Marion.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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I know what you mean ... a little too sweet and tidy. I agree, but I don't care. LOL There's plenty of stuff from the dark side on here so maybe some sweetness and light will do some good? Thanks for reviewing! Dennis
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Precious, precious story...one I wish wasn't fiction. With God all things are possible and He can in real life work the impossible out. Great story. God loves you and I do too.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Precious, precious story...one I wish wasn't fiction. With God all things are possible and He can in real life work the impossible out. Great story. God loves you and I do too.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Thank you! Your comments are highly appreciated, dear sister of mine! Dennis
Comment from emjaihammond
This is a precious story. I missed it the first time it was posted. Loved the way you ended this lovely story. Sometimes a child can be the best medicine, at least it helped in your story. Well written and a joy to read.
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
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This is a precious story. I missed it the first time it was posted. Loved the way you ended this lovely story. Sometimes a child can be the best medicine, at least it helped in your story. Well written and a joy to read.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jun-2013
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Thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words and am pleased that you enjoyed it. Dennis
Comment from Connie C
What a touching story this and I like how it ends happily. You managed to tell the entire story through the use of dialogue, and it worked perfectly.
Great job, Dennis!
Connie
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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What a touching story this and I like how it ends happily. You managed to tell the entire story through the use of dialogue, and it worked perfectly.
Great job, Dennis!
Connie
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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Thanks Connie, I appreciate your remarks. Dennis
Comment from Janet Foor
I loved this one Dennis. I've been away for awhile and not been able to review lately. This is a sweet story. One I wish we're true for my daughter and her family but they have all moved on and there will be no reconciliation now. Great ending.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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I loved this one Dennis. I've been away for awhile and not been able to review lately. This is a sweet story. One I wish we're true for my daughter and her family but they have all moved on and there will be no reconciliation now. Great ending.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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Thanks Janet. I know it's a little too sweet and tidy, but I don't care. All things are possible with God. Glad you are back! Dennis
Comment from GE Parson
That dialog absolutely heart touching. It's to bad all broken hearts are not healed that quickly and easily. I think they could if pride would keep it's nose out of the situation.
I like the subtle way you ended this.
To God be the Gory Your Friend, Jerry
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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That dialog absolutely heart touching. It's to bad all broken hearts are not healed that quickly and easily. I think they could if pride would keep it's nose out of the situation.
I like the subtle way you ended this.
To God be the Gory Your Friend, Jerry
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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Hi Jerry you old softie! :) May your tribe increase (spiritually speaking of course) Love to you and yours, brother, Dennis
Comment from jjstar
This was so cute! I know it was a little too sweet, but I love the innocence of children. It's in their innocence that their infinite wisdom shines through. Also a good way to introduce God to small children. Excellent..I see someone else pointed out the little spaggy things, so I'll let it go..lol:)
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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This was so cute! I know it was a little too sweet, but I love the innocence of children. It's in their innocence that their infinite wisdom shines through. Also a good way to introduce God to small children. Excellent..I see someone else pointed out the little spaggy things, so I'll let it go..lol:)
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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I agree it was simplistic and overly sweet but I went with it anyhow. I get a little overfed on the dark stuff on here so maybe I'm over reacting? LOL Thanks for commenting! I thought you had departed from this site and I'm so glad to see you back. I've been working a lot so my time on here is way down. You're still the best on here and I'm so glad you only work half a year as a well paid teacher with endless benefits. So you have the whole summer off ... to write a rebuttal. LOL
Comment from Lady Bev
Lets get you washed up
MISSING APOSTROPHE
Let's get you washed up
"Daddy, what are 'pearly whites'"?
The question mark goes inside the quotation marks.
"Hello, Darline."
Do you mean Darling or Darlene? (Is that just an odd spelling of the girl's name?)
up there with all time unforgivables but
HYPHEN REQUIRED, as shown below
COMMA REQUIRED, as shown below
up there with all-time unforgivables, but
Maybe not like yours, but it's still hurts."
IT'S should be IT
Maybe not like yours, but it still hurts."
Mommy's waiting for us And it all started when
Change capital A in and to lowercase
I guess God can heal broken hearts after all even if He
COMMA REQUIRED as shown
I guess God can heal broken hearts after all, even if He
That was absolutely precious! Well done! Wouldn't it be lovely if every separation had a happy ending like this one!
Just a little tweaking needed. ;)
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Lets get you washed up
MISSING APOSTROPHE
Let's get you washed up
"Daddy, what are 'pearly whites'"?
The question mark goes inside the quotation marks.
"Hello, Darline."
Do you mean Darling or Darlene? (Is that just an odd spelling of the girl's name?)
up there with all time unforgivables but
HYPHEN REQUIRED, as shown below
COMMA REQUIRED, as shown below
up there with all-time unforgivables, but
Maybe not like yours, but it's still hurts."
IT'S should be IT
Maybe not like yours, but it still hurts."
Mommy's waiting for us And it all started when
Change capital A in and to lowercase
I guess God can heal broken hearts after all even if He
COMMA REQUIRED as shown
I guess God can heal broken hearts after all, even if He
That was absolutely precious! Well done! Wouldn't it be lovely if every separation had a happy ending like this one!
Just a little tweaking needed. ;)
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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"Wouldn't it be lovely if every separation had a happy ending like this one!" Yes indeed! Thanks Lady Bev;you are appreciated by me.
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:)
Comment from christianpowers
Hi D,
This mooshy swill needs work. lol
It's written well, so I didn't give you three stars, but the child-like conflict resolution was too Disney-esk for me.
Still, I did get that sickly-sweet feeling in my stomach you were going for here, much like the sensation of being tied to a chair and force fed a pound of sugar by some gentle brute who's convinced he's doing me a favor. Unfortunately, my diabetes kicked in and put me in a hyperglycemic coma.
Insulin, baby! I need insulin!
(Thanks for the great read though... keep swingin' for the fences. As Edgar Rice Burroughs once said, "Write one story and it might be a good one, but write a hundred stories and you're bound to get lucky." or somethin' like that..
Christian
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Hi D,
This mooshy swill needs work. lol
It's written well, so I didn't give you three stars, but the child-like conflict resolution was too Disney-esk for me.
Still, I did get that sickly-sweet feeling in my stomach you were going for here, much like the sensation of being tied to a chair and force fed a pound of sugar by some gentle brute who's convinced he's doing me a favor. Unfortunately, my diabetes kicked in and put me in a hyperglycemic coma.
Insulin, baby! I need insulin!
(Thanks for the great read though... keep swingin' for the fences. As Edgar Rice Burroughs once said, "Write one story and it might be a good one, but write a hundred stories and you're bound to get lucky." or somethin' like that..
Christian
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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I know exactly the feeling you are talking about because (honestly, without rancor here)I felt like I was ingesting swill of another kind as I read your Rapist Gets His or whatever it was called. :)
I notice that in spite of the way your naughty words so easily rolled off your polished tongue, the common thread of retribution for evil was upheld. Evidence that God's truth on same is universally understood even by those who openly defy Him or think themselves outside the pale of His mercy.
Wake up, you spiritual dope! Christ died to free you from the punishment you deserved. It's Satan's work that makes you think God will not honor the Word you once openly trusted. I look forward to the day you realize God's grace to you is real as He called you into an eternal relationship with Himself.
Listen to this and then tell me it didn't stir your heart.
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Hi D... wow, you've been brainwashed by the Word. Sorry, no stirring occurred. Too slow and praising. I know the maker of the rain, too. It's called condensation.
However, I do appreciate the sentiment. And, your assessment of my rapist story was spot-on. I felt disgusted writing it. That's why I killed the bastard. God had nothing to do with it. If he had, maybe there wouldn't be any such thing as rape.
Put that in your pipe and smoke!!!
Christian
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If you really knew me, you would know how much my brain needs to be washed by the "water of the Word" and that daily. Not moved, eh? I guess your heart is harder than I know. But this I do know, no barrier can keep the Love of Christ from one of Christ's own. D
