The AC
Rhyming verse10 total reviews
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
A nice game - abolished competition is well put in words, the charm of the play is somewhat funny but it is a competitive game when one is out is out, the spirit and fantasy or fun is well capitalised, I liked. 27/508
reply by the author on 09-May-2013
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A nice game - abolished competition is well put in words, the charm of the play is somewhat funny but it is a competitive game when one is out is out, the spirit and fantasy or fun is well capitalised, I liked. 27/508
Comment Written 08-May-2013
reply by the author on 09-May-2013
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Thank you very much for taking time to review.
Comment from Sararb
I enjoyed reading your poem. It flowed well, and the rhyming was natural. You are right when you are out you're out. No more competitions, worries, or pain hopefully peace reigns when we are six feet under. Sararb
reply by the author on 07-May-2013
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I enjoyed reading your poem. It flowed well, and the rhyming was natural. You are right when you are out you're out. No more competitions, worries, or pain hopefully peace reigns when we are six feet under. Sararb
Comment Written 06-May-2013
reply by the author on 07-May-2013
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Thank you for reviewing. Yes, the transition from glory is sometimes ungraceful. Bill
Comment from Indie Skreet
I'd say this is pretty excellent apart from fact you have used down and sound twice and the fact that these two words do not rhyme. Content and rhythm however is excellent. Best Indie
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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I'd say this is pretty excellent apart from fact you have used down and sound twice and the fact that these two words do not rhyme. Content and rhythm however is excellent. Best Indie
Comment Written 06-May-2013
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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Down and sound use assonance rhyming to make their point. I'm glad I was good enough to rate this high filter critique. I do appreciate teh review. Bill
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well what can I say? I am a bit arsey over rhyme t'is true and sometimes one can get away with it, as I believe you do :)
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well what can I say? I am a bit arsey over rhyme t'is true and sometimes one can get away with it, as I believe you do :)
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
Each time I've read this, I've come away with a slightly different take on it's meaning.
My favorite-est line is definitely' "Nuggets now are nickels/now are covering her eyes."
Still am scratching my head at the possible meanings and portents this poem might carry, but for me, that is part of its draw.
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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Each time I've read this, I've come away with a slightly different take on it's meaning.
My favorite-est line is definitely' "Nuggets now are nickels/now are covering her eyes."
Still am scratching my head at the possible meanings and portents this poem might carry, but for me, that is part of its draw.
Comment Written 06-May-2013
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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I was viualizing the changing of power in its unsubtle and here-and-gone display. Thank you for reviewing. Bill
Comment from NicciFaye
This is creative and well written. Excellent rhyming and flow of poem. Cynical in thought, but great outcome of word choice. Excellent.
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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This is creative and well written. Excellent rhyming and flow of poem. Cynical in thought, but great outcome of word choice. Excellent.
Comment Written 06-May-2013
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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Thank you for your kind and discerning review. Bill
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, bill, you did an excellent job writing this rhyming poem about the way power has a time to step down and let someone else take over. i enjoyed reading it
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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this is very well written, bill, you did an excellent job writing this rhyming poem about the way power has a time to step down and let someone else take over. i enjoyed reading it
Comment Written 06-May-2013
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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Thank you for your kind review. Bill
Comment from dmt1967
I like the flow of this poem and the way it is written I like the picture and the rhyming sequence very well written thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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I like the flow of this poem and the way it is written I like the picture and the rhyming sequence very well written thank you for sharing
Comment Written 06-May-2013
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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Thank you for your kind review. Bill
Comment from rjuselius
this is just brilliant! it seems that you can get away with murder if you are a clown. i especially love this part:
"The last to cast a stone
Will be first to fetch the prize"
karma i would say:)
thank you for sharing! and sorry if i interpreted it wrong;)
rebekka x
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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this is just brilliant! it seems that you can get away with murder if you are a clown. i especially love this part:
"The last to cast a stone
Will be first to fetch the prize"
karma i would say:)
thank you for sharing! and sorry if i interpreted it wrong;)
rebekka x
Comment Written 06-May-2013
reply by the author on 06-May-2013
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I like your interpretation. It's a general send up to the graceless exchange of power in our modern societies. Thank you for reviewing. Bill
Comment from RodG
Hi again, Mr. Schott.
Why do I have this impression, English teacher, that this poem may have been at least partially inspired by the classic short story "The Lottery" which you've probably taught?
I enjoy your tongue-in-cheek humor.
And again I applaud your use of trimeter and rhyme.
RodG
reply by the author on 05-May-2013
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Hi again, Mr. Schott.
Why do I have this impression, English teacher, that this poem may have been at least partially inspired by the classic short story "The Lottery" which you've probably taught?
I enjoy your tongue-in-cheek humor.
And again I applaud your use of trimeter and rhyme.
RodG
Comment Written 05-May-2013
reply by the author on 05-May-2013
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I have indeed taught Shirley Jackson's short story and, although I wasn't consciously paralleling it, see how fits in. Thank you for your thoughtful and kind review. Bill
Comment from mikenbel
Sounds like this should be all about the monarchy and the queen either stepping down or abdicating. I like the phrase "constipated expectations".
reply by the author on 05-May-2013
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Sounds like this should be all about the monarchy and the queen either stepping down or abdicating. I like the phrase "constipated expectations".
Comment Written 05-May-2013
reply by the author on 05-May-2013
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Thank you for reviewing. I like your spin on it. Bill