All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 79 "Who Owns Whom?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
16 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
good use of occasional rhyme
I particularly like heat's rising/compromising
I also really like bind me/blind me
I also love the pairing of burn and brand for the power of the emotion in the verbs and for the alliteration
great ending - I can feel the heat in this one, but it never crosses a line - just the right balance for this contest :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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good use of occasional rhyme
I particularly like heat's rising/compromising
I also really like bind me/blind me
I also love the pairing of burn and brand for the power of the emotion in the verbs and for the alliteration
great ending - I can feel the heat in this one, but it never crosses a line - just the right balance for this contest :-) Brooke
Comment Written 25-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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thx so much Brooke - I had fun with this one, but was beaten by ONE vote! Oh well - I had fun in the writing.
:)Sharyn
Comment from Dustybones
Hi long time. I see you are writing lots. I like this line especially,you'll find I'm not that kind of nice, easy gal, so blind me...." Reminds me a a line from a Netflix movie called Dead Fall. where the woman says she is naughty to someone she just met. Sexy in many ways. Good writing.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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Hi long time. I see you are writing lots. I like this line especially,you'll find I'm not that kind of nice, easy gal, so blind me...." Reminds me a a line from a Netflix movie called Dead Fall. where the woman says she is naughty to someone she just met. Sexy in many ways. Good writing.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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thank you so much DB! that's what the prompt called for, so of course it was a fun prompt! Thank you so much for reading & reviewing. Haven't seen you around for a while?
Blessings,
Sharyn
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Sharyn
I have been doing life, and listening to podcasts about film, design and interviews with movie script writers. They are script writers that have gotten contracts for film. I am not sure which came first, but these are people who have made it past that line of getting producers to want to move the scripts to movie production. cya. Boyd
Comment from Titanx9
You definitely got the passion right in this one. It burns the screen, crescendoing with each line as though racing toward some cataclysmic climate. I love it! It's a fun read that offers a most daring challenge. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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You definitely got the passion right in this one. It burns the screen, crescendoing with each line as though racing toward some cataclysmic climate. I love it! It's a fun read that offers a most daring challenge. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2013
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so can you tell I had fun with this one Dossie?
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Yes, I can - LOL.
Comment from Righteous Riter
This is a good and intense free style. The photo compliments the piece as the words bring the photo to life. Even the red font gives the reader the idea that something hot and passionate is going on.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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This is a good and intense free style. The photo compliments the piece as the words bring the photo to life. Even the red font gives the reader the idea that something hot and passionate is going on.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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thx RR!
Comment from seanb29
I like this one!!!! You describe the scene and how it escalates very well. I love how you end it with a question...it allows the reader to reflect and draw their own conclusion. At least that's what it did for me. Great Job.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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I like this one!!!! You describe the scene and how it escalates very well. I love how you end it with a question...it allows the reader to reflect and draw their own conclusion. At least that's what it did for me. Great Job.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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oh good - it's meant for you to ask yourself that question! The best of the old black & whites were always subtle. Glad you liked it sean - fun to write!
Comment from NHazelwood
I really like the construction of this poem the way you choose the line structure made the poem easier to follow and added more drama! The artwork for this poem is perfect!
Skillfully penned!
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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I really like the construction of this poem the way you choose the line structure made the poem easier to follow and added more drama! The artwork for this poem is perfect!
Skillfully penned!
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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I had fun playing with this one NH - thank you!
Comment from dmt1967
I like the red writing and black background the colors go rather well together very well written good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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I like the red writing and black background the colors go rather well together very well written good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Thx so much Janet. Always fun.
Comment from Rondeno
"The minute you walked in the joint ..." Torch Singer meets Bad Boy, and sparks fly! I love the setting and the situation. Each needs - and completes - the other.
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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"The minute you walked in the joint ..." Torch Singer meets Bad Boy, and sparks fly! I love the setting and the situation. Each needs - and completes - the other.
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Actually I was humming Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" as I was writing it ... but definitely Big Spender's in there too (I always LOVED that song!)
Comment from lorijean
A steamy poem, well written and full of highly charged emotions, and the photograph is just right for the words you have penned....
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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A steamy poem, well written and full of highly charged emotions, and the photograph is just right for the words you have penned....
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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I had fun with this one lj - can you tell?
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Love challenge, love stand, love appreciation, whose power and strength in love romanticism is challenging, very nicely freestyle maintained, some rhyme, orderly syllable count, I liked the flow of thoughts, imagery and visual. 1/244
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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Love challenge, love stand, love appreciation, whose power and strength in love romanticism is challenging, very nicely freestyle maintained, some rhyme, orderly syllable count, I liked the flow of thoughts, imagery and visual. 1/244
Comment Written 24-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2013
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thx Al!