Mastering Temptation
Tells of how to resist temptation...5 total reviews
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello. I appreciate reading your entry and I felt it indeed sends a deep message. There seems to be a lack of rhyming scheme here. The ending too in my opinion seems to end on a cliffhanger. I would have liked to have read more. Good luck and cheers.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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Hello. I appreciate reading your entry and I felt it indeed sends a deep message. There seems to be a lack of rhyming scheme here. The ending too in my opinion seems to end on a cliffhanger. I would have liked to have read more. Good luck and cheers.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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Hi. Its a shame you failed to spot the rhyming scheme. Check the ends of each stanza and compare them against each other. Perhaps i should have pointed this out in the botes but others seemed to get this. Otherwise thanks for the review. R.
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I had hoped that being the better man you would have revised your rating after having your error pointed ou. Alas, there is no honour amongst men today which is not your fault I admit - it is mordern society's great failing! R (with a tongue firmly in his cheek! :))
Comment from writing2inspire
This is a great poem. I liked the message and the sentiments evoked. Though they rhymed, some of the lines were awkward to read, especially the first lines of the first and third stanzas. That is just my subjective opinion, so write your poetry as you feel is should be. You are doing great.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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This is a great poem. I liked the message and the sentiments evoked. Though they rhymed, some of the lines were awkward to read, especially the first lines of the first and third stanzas. That is just my subjective opinion, so write your poetry as you feel is should be. You are doing great.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks for the review and thanks for the critique. I'll learn from it! :)
Comment from Gunrunner
Excellent use of rhyme structure and good descriptive work on the evil temptress. She is a damning master. It only takes one slip. The artwork fit the poem to a T. Good work.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Excellent use of rhyme structure and good descriptive work on the evil temptress. She is a damning master. It only takes one slip. The artwork fit the poem to a T. Good work.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks for the review!
Comment from GeraldS
This is a totally different take on this contest theme from other entries I've read. The narrative in engaging and thought provoking, and easily held my attention. It provides a smooth and melodious read. The presentation with the artwork is attention grabbing. And, personification of temptation as a woman gave it a biblical feel. Very well done! Good luck in the voting!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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This is a totally different take on this contest theme from other entries I've read. The narrative in engaging and thought provoking, and easily held my attention. It provides a smooth and melodious read. The presentation with the artwork is attention grabbing. And, personification of temptation as a woman gave it a biblical feel. Very well done! Good luck in the voting!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks for the kind words!
Comment from lorijean
Wise words we should all take in, temptations are out there for all to see, hard to ignore sometimes, but if we follow your advice... good words and like the image
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Wise words we should all take in, temptations are out there for all to see, hard to ignore sometimes, but if we follow your advice... good words and like the image
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks for the review. I appreciate it!
