Comment from visionary1234

Excellent

I didn't need your author notes as your poem is quite clear as to its meaning. I'd probably go all lower case and get rid of most punctuation though?

loving you is real
yet you just left me alone - (put a dash here)
I'm too numb to feel

"Now, I'm numb to feel" doesn't make sense on its own? What do you think?

You're usually allowed one punctuation mark at the "break" (usually at the end of the 2nd line) so I put a dash there ... have fun with it! :)Sharyn

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2013

Thank you for the review.. it really develops my sense in making this..=)

Comment from Sirach11

Average

Aaah.

Not sure if the tense is real or was real should be present or past. also to emphasize you could add too

too numb to feel although I like the line as it is because its stark and evokes sadness.

I use just a lot, too much, so I'll share, the word can emphasize " just too good" or it can dilute the words that follow. You decide. It's a heartfelt poem.

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013

Thank you so much for reviewing my work. I highly appreciate it.. =)