Poems from a Pensive Poet
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Last Train Out"Verses from my heart
27 total reviews
Comment from marion
HI Beth
This is haunting ... that last stanza in particular, excellent!
So now she sits on a railroad track,
wearing fish-net hose and dress of black.
She has a bag, but she won't unpack.
When she leaves this time, she'll not be back.
And a great opening with the first stanza. Gripping.
I think the artwork is very effective.
I enjoyed.
Marion.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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HI Beth
This is haunting ... that last stanza in particular, excellent!
So now she sits on a railroad track,
wearing fish-net hose and dress of black.
She has a bag, but she won't unpack.
When she leaves this time, she'll not be back.
And a great opening with the first stanza. Gripping.
I think the artwork is very effective.
I enjoyed.
Marion.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you Marion. I really appreciate the review and you nice comments. I'm so glad you liked it.
Beth
Comment from honeytree
Excellent art work and words.
I am sure this young lady didn't want to die.
This lady chose death rather then living the life she led.
This tragedy could happen again somewhere
For another person who does not know true love.
Honey tree
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Excellent art work and words.
I am sure this young lady didn't want to die.
This lady chose death rather then living the life she led.
This tragedy could happen again somewhere
For another person who does not know true love.
Honey tree
Comment Written 19-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and thoughtful comments.
Beth
Comment from visionary1234
Excellent story-in-a-poem Beth - and these are VERY difficult to do ... this one could well be a song (in fact, I can hear Johnny Cash ... just soft guitar in background ... and that rich, deep story-telling voice ...) - well done! :)Sharyn
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Excellent story-in-a-poem Beth - and these are VERY difficult to do ... this one could well be a song (in fact, I can hear Johnny Cash ... just soft guitar in background ... and that rich, deep story-telling voice ...) - well done! :)Sharyn
Comment Written 19-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you Sharyn,
I never thought of it as a song but that might be a great idea.
I appreciate the suggestion.
Beth
Comment from Walu Feral
Wow! great job Beth. This poem is so beautiful and it resonated strongly in my heart as I read it. I loved it. Cheers Fez.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Wow! great job Beth. This poem is so beautiful and it resonated strongly in my heart as I read it. I loved it. Cheers Fez.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and nice commment. I really appreciate it.
Beth
Comment from Macsween
Excellent poem. I really liked it and the subject material is so true. The words flowed excellently and the poem is very believable because it sadly happens in real life.
I have recently finished my first novel on this very subject.
I really liked this. Good work.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Excellent poem. I really liked it and the subject material is so true. The words flowed excellently and the poem is very believable because it sadly happens in real life.
I have recently finished my first novel on this very subject.
I really liked this. Good work.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the six star review. I'd like to read your novel. Is it published?
Beth
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No not yet. Going through the standard rejections.
Comment from Black_Oxygen
Well Done ~ Beth
This poetry transports the reader to an adventure
story. The attached photo is a befitting accent.
The rhymes are absolutely perfect and not forced.
It uses non-confusing language making it easy to
read and understand. Thank You for your creation.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Well Done ~ Beth
This poetry transports the reader to an adventure
story. The attached photo is a befitting accent.
The rhymes are absolutely perfect and not forced.
It uses non-confusing language making it easy to
read and understand. Thank You for your creation.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and thoughtful comments.
Beth
Comment from Spitfire
A poignant story told in excellentform. Smooth flow and natureal sounding rhyme. A skilful rendering of Lucretis's her past, present and future. My hat's off to you, Beth. It's beyond my skill to rhyme so well.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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A poignant story told in excellentform. Smooth flow and natureal sounding rhyme. A skilful rendering of Lucretis's her past, present and future. My hat's off to you, Beth. It's beyond my skill to rhyme so well.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the review. I appreciate such glowing works from a talented writher like you.
Beth
Comment from clbritch
You have penned a powerful poem. It is sad and unfortunately so true for so many young people. Your picture choice ties perfectly with your poem. It has a smooth flow very good descriptive rhyme.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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You have penned a powerful poem. It is sad and unfortunately so true for so many young people. Your picture choice ties perfectly with your poem. It has a smooth flow very good descriptive rhyme.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the nice comments.
Beth
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your welcome
Comment from Thesis
Hi, Beth. Your poem, although dark, is very real to a lot of people in trouble like this.
I liked how you told her life story so fully, in such few words. It's so sad when a young person gets taken in by drugs, preyed on by cowards, and left with no one to turn to.
Sad.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Hi, Beth. Your poem, although dark, is very real to a lot of people in trouble like this.
I liked how you told her life story so fully, in such few words. It's so sad when a young person gets taken in by drugs, preyed on by cowards, and left with no one to turn to.
Sad.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the thoughtful comments.
I really appreciate it.
Beth
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Absolutely beautifully written and presented. Such a professional look to this. The message is strong and so truthful for many who have run away from home, become addicted to drugs and spiral downhill from there. Very enjoyable read from top to bottom! VERY well done! Bravo! Betty
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Absolutely beautifully written and presented. Such a professional look to this. The message is strong and so truthful for many who have run away from home, become addicted to drugs and spiral downhill from there. Very enjoyable read from top to bottom! VERY well done! Bravo! Betty
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2013
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Thank you Betty. I really appreciate the review and you thoughtful comments. I'm so glad you like it.
Beth