Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

love the illustration and overall presentation of your poem
excellent alliteration in broken ballerina and what an effective opening simile
good alliteration in bruised and bleeding
excellent consonance of L sounds in several places
I love the closing miss/abyss rhyme and the soulful expression of love and longing Brooke

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2013

Thank you so much for your fantastic review Brooke xx

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2013

Thank you so much for your fantastic review Brooke xx

Comment from Spike the second

Excellent

Ah Jaq
My friend, this is such a sweet poem and I feel frustration in the poem.
I think we all miss those days of sheer young love, when you cannot concentrate because you are head over heels in love like a love sick puppy. After being together 30 years that feeling certainly is not the same as it was back then, but to find someone akin to your funny ways and habits is hard. I really do not have anything in common with my soap and medical drama loving wife apart from certain things we laugh at and dogs. Finding a person to laugh with through life is the way forward.

So sorry I have no sixes because I would gladly award you one. You have been a great encouragement for me.

Blessings

Spike

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2013

Thanks so much Spike for your very kind words and for reading my poem. Blessings to you too. :) Jaq xx

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

this happens my friend when you separate from a partner and are left broken hearted it hard again to trust you have to allow time to heal well done on this well written poem regards Jill

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Thank you so very much xx

Comment from Earl of Oxford

Excellent

That's the saddest and skinniest puppet I've ever seen, Jaq. Maybe she needs a good meal of splinters, and Pinochio for a partner.

Excellent display of sad and un-loved emotions. Free verse with a scattering of rhyme for extra interest.

Of course it's easy to say, but 'time' needn't be an 'abyss'. Find someone to love, and it becomes 'bliss', so I've heard. :-)

Really enjoyed the read, and I wish you early and thoroughly deserved happiness and romance.

Ray

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

LOL Ray she would look the part if she was fat and happy :) Splinter and Pinocchio seems like a good deal to me.

"Find someone to love, and it becomes 'bliss', " ... do you have something to share?? :))

Thanks so much for your great review as always Ray xxx

reply by Earl of Oxford on 17-Jan-2013

:-) xxx

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

:-) Oh mysterious one LOL xx

reply by Earl of Oxford on 17-Jan-2013

I need to keep em thinking, Jaq, as otherwise they'd realise what a boring life I lead.

Anyway, I have to dash, as I'm off to swim the Atlantic with my arms and legs tied together, using only my ears for propulsion. :-) xxx

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Hahahaha man of mystery, man of action :) xx

Comment from reconciled

Excellent

Hey Jaq -smile- love your poem put an "of" in between Myriad and emotions. you and me both kid -smile- wonderful presentation love Michael

 Comment Written 17-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Hi Michael -smiling- Thanks for your kind and helpful review, I'll go and add that now. :) Jaq xx

Comment from hifein

Excellent

liked this a lot. good rhyme and rhythm and sentiment comes through clearly. Presentation is also effective and enhances your message. Rhyming is interesting and doesn't feel forced. good job.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Hifein thanks you for reading and reviewing, much appreciated. :) Jaq x

Comment from visionary1234

Excellent

Lovely, wistful write - we really get the image of someone who's lost and whose future could go either way. The "broken ballerina" is particularly beautiful!

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Much appreciated visionary, I always enjoy your thoughts :) Jaq x

Comment from L. Sherman

Excellent

Love the simile of the broken ballerina. The picture is very appropriate and helps add that air of dejection to the piece.

The cadence is good and the rhymes are natural. There are nice examples of alliteration throughout and it's just really very nicely done.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Thanks ever so much for your kind review and for reading this. :) Jaq x

Comment from October21

Excellent

Jaq, this is another outstanding one from you! You express the feeling of being lost so well. And I like the quote 'seek and you will find' and how you say that this is not the case for all of us. I suppose most of us really are left wondering. And the rhyming of 'miss' and 'abyss' was fantastic. We quite often find ourselves lost in time. Also, your simile of the ballerina is so clever and in that stanza, you describe the broken heart very well. Truly expressive, I enjoyed:-)

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Shenel, what a lovely and in-depth review as always. Thanks my friend. :) Jaq xx

Comment from Janice Canerdy

Excellent

This really well-written poem vividly conveys the bitter, disillusioned mindset of a heartbroken person, but she still has a glimmer of hope.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2013

---

reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Thanks Janice, much appreciated, there always has to be hope :) Jaq x