Leavened with Love
a stunning rebirth59 total reviews
Comment from Otto Loewi
I'm glad you added that description to the author's notes. While I understood the story line-for-line, I didn't understand the bigger picture until I read the notes. I need to brush up on my bible stories. That being said, the story was well-written. Expert use of vocabulary. It was a pleasure to read.
"A sound like the beating of a thousand wings"-- was it "like" the beating of wings? Or was it actually the sound of wings? Just curious.
Again, great work.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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I'm glad you added that description to the author's notes. While I understood the story line-for-line, I didn't understand the bigger picture until I read the notes. I need to brush up on my bible stories. That being said, the story was well-written. Expert use of vocabulary. It was a pleasure to read.
"A sound like the beating of a thousand wings"-- was it "like" the beating of wings? Or was it actually the sound of wings? Just curious.
Again, great work.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Otto, thank you so much for this wonderful review. Your kind words are most appreciated.
I did intent to use the simile form, though your way would definitely lead in another interesting direction.
Thanks so much! Bev
Comment from J. Dark
Bev, this is astonishing writing and I feel genuinely embarrassed to not have the six star rating available this fine fictional piece deserves.
I loved the stunning winged horses simile you use in your second line which had my attention captured immediately. You expertly and quickly set the scene for the reader with your first paragraph - I absolutely love that! I was able to establish the time period very quickly in my mind.
In "Wind screeching liked a robbed whore", did you mean "like"? (Another brilliant simile, by the way).
You have a wonderful quality to your writing voice and the piece was convincingly time set and comes across as expertly researched.
I think, maybe, "Have you come to watch me die" might need a question mark.
It is actually very hard for me to actually point out further finer points because I was so totally absorbed and enjoying the story! I was extremely impressed, Bev, and it is incredibly interesting to read.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Bev, this is astonishing writing and I feel genuinely embarrassed to not have the six star rating available this fine fictional piece deserves.
I loved the stunning winged horses simile you use in your second line which had my attention captured immediately. You expertly and quickly set the scene for the reader with your first paragraph - I absolutely love that! I was able to establish the time period very quickly in my mind.
In "Wind screeching liked a robbed whore", did you mean "like"? (Another brilliant simile, by the way).
You have a wonderful quality to your writing voice and the piece was convincingly time set and comes across as expertly researched.
I think, maybe, "Have you come to watch me die" might need a question mark.
It is actually very hard for me to actually point out further finer points because I was so totally absorbed and enjoying the story! I was extremely impressed, Bev, and it is incredibly interesting to read.
Kindest of regards,
Julie :-)
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Hello, Julie. Your words are absolute gold to me! What a wonderfully generous and encouraging review, my friend. And thank you so much for cathing my spaggies. I think I'd drop dead if I ever posted a totally clean piece LOL. Thank God for sharp-eyed reviewers like you.
You have certainly put a smile on my face today and I do so appreciate your wish for a six.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from visionary1234
Oh my goodness - you certainly excel in this realm of spiritual fiction (and thank goodness you went over 800 words! I have an entry in that one!) Fabulous historical re-creation of the period here - totally believable! :)S
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Oh my goodness - you certainly excel in this realm of spiritual fiction (and thank goodness you went over 800 words! I have an entry in that one!) Fabulous historical re-creation of the period here - totally believable! :)S
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Hi, Sharyn. Your entry is fantastic and I AM GLAD I didn't enter a submission. Thank you for this gracious and lovely review. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from pugdogy
just a couple of things:
Benjamin's could not hide...(this sentence does not make sense how it is written)
they all turned at the approach of (a) donkey-pulled
"Jesus, the Christ (,) has seen fit.....
I really enjoyed reading your story. I like the way you have taken the story from the Bible and have brought it to life. Good job!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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just a couple of things:
Benjamin's could not hide...(this sentence does not make sense how it is written)
they all turned at the approach of (a) donkey-pulled
"Jesus, the Christ (,) has seen fit.....
I really enjoyed reading your story. I like the way you have taken the story from the Bible and have brought it to life. Good job!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Thank you so much, pugdogy, for taking time to carefully read my story. Your excellent suggestions are very much appreciated. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from judiverse
You have given such an interesting account of Paul's conversion. I didn't know about Paul's attempt to eradicate Christianity. Your use of dialogue and the names you've chosen seem in keeping with the time you're writing about. Great description of Saul and how he had begged Jude to kill him. Jesus wished for him to be saved, however, and his blindness is cured for him to take up the service of the Lord. You have an excellent retelling of the story. Well deserving six stars. judi
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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You have given such an interesting account of Paul's conversion. I didn't know about Paul's attempt to eradicate Christianity. Your use of dialogue and the names you've chosen seem in keeping with the time you're writing about. Great description of Saul and how he had begged Jude to kill him. Jesus wished for him to be saved, however, and his blindness is cured for him to take up the service of the Lord. You have an excellent retelling of the story. Well deserving six stars. judi
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Judi, thank you my gracious and generous friend. According to my research, Paul/Saul oversaw the execution of a number of the early Christians including St. Stephen. Though some have suggested that the famous account of Paul's redemption is a sensationlized version of a longer process, I kinda like the idea of a splashy miracle LOL.
I very much appreciate your support and encouragement, Judi.
Hugs, Bev
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Hi, Bev. You're welcome. I didn't know the story about the early Saul. I guess we get the condensed version of his life. judi
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Yes, there's just a brief reference in Acts and then not much else. Thanks again, Judi! Xx Bev
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I'm going to have to do some research myself to learn more about Paul. judi
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There's an interesting theory that he and St. Peter really did not get along very well. I find that kind of fascinating. :0)
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Bev, no matter what subject you tackle it is with the pen of a master. Did you do creative writing courses, friend? I love your writing. This is a magnificent piece of prose. You'll have to chat to the muse.:) Don't see how you could have shortened it though. Well written. luv jada
of [a] donkey-pulled cart
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Hi Bev, no matter what subject you tackle it is with the pen of a master. Did you do creative writing courses, friend? I love your writing. This is a magnificent piece of prose. You'll have to chat to the muse.:) Don't see how you could have shortened it though. Well written. luv jada
of [a] donkey-pulled cart
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Hi, Jada. Such wonderful words and generosity, my friend! I've taken some courses on the site with Dawn and Stacia. They were both very helpful to me.
So appreciate your positive input and helpful insights. Love ya, Bev
Comment from Spitfire
What a great story. I've heard the expression on the road to Damascus. Now I'm thinking it refers to conversion?
Excellent characterization of Snipes. Lovely touch with reference to the crucifixtion in between the two POV's.
The ending is dymanite and your writing skills are spot on as always. Let's get you in the top five!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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What a great story. I've heard the expression on the road to Damascus. Now I'm thinking it refers to conversion?
Excellent characterization of Snipes. Lovely touch with reference to the crucifixtion in between the two POV's.
The ending is dymanite and your writing skills are spot on as always. Let's get you in the top five!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Hi, Shari. This does refer to the account of Saul's conversion to Christianity. There is some speculation it may not have happened as suddenly as depicted in the Acts of the Apostles, but I prefer to think it happened suddenly and mysteriously - of course LOL.
Thank, my friend, for your wonderfully encouraging review.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
And thank you for this awesome story -
most intriguing
screeching liked a robbed whore. - loved this.
The horses' reigns were jerked - here, I took it to be the one horse - thus - horse's reins - ALSO - is it the American way to spell "reigns" (as per the queen) this way or is it mispelt? we spell it "reins" - I just wondered.
reveal for what purpose.(")
extend to you his merciful arm -His - cap H
accept him - Him
Great story, Bev
Margaret
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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And thank you for this awesome story -
most intriguing
screeching liked a robbed whore. - loved this.
The horses' reigns were jerked - here, I took it to be the one horse - thus - horse's reins - ALSO - is it the American way to spell "reigns" (as per the queen) this way or is it mispelt? we spell it "reins" - I just wondered.
reveal for what purpose.(")
extend to you his merciful arm -His - cap H
accept him - Him
Great story, Bev
Margaret
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Margaret, thank you so much for this wonderful review! I really appreciate your catching my spaggies (rein is definitely the correct spelling). Your generosity and encouragement are so very much appreciated. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from vickib
Bev as you know I don't know the history of these stories, but you have my attention. Extremely well written. I read it twice, as I'm not used to reading anything but poetry. Lol! I need to get out more. It's an amazing story, I could really get the picture in my head with your descriptions. To understand the full moral of the story you will have to tell me. Forgive me I am blind and dense sometimes. Especially with biblical stories. I'm beginning to think I need to dive in to the bible and understand it more. God would probably appreciate that too. Lol! I think you are pretty talented and I've missed your post. I wish I pack all that in a haiku, if you could what would it say?
XO
Vicki
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Bev as you know I don't know the history of these stories, but you have my attention. Extremely well written. I read it twice, as I'm not used to reading anything but poetry. Lol! I need to get out more. It's an amazing story, I could really get the picture in my head with your descriptions. To understand the full moral of the story you will have to tell me. Forgive me I am blind and dense sometimes. Especially with biblical stories. I'm beginning to think I need to dive in to the bible and understand it more. God would probably appreciate that too. Lol! I think you are pretty talented and I've missed your post. I wish I pack all that in a haiku, if you could what would it say?
XO
Vicki
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Hiya, Vicki. Thank you, my friend, for this awesome review. I guess the main gist of the story of Saul, is that he turned from having a rabid hatred for the young Christian sect that had sprung up after Jesus's death to being one it's, arguably, most prowerful proponents. The message, I think, is that when God has his/her sights set on you, there's not much you can do.
I am at a loss as to how this might fit as a haiku - but would love to see a master like you take a crack at it.
Love ya, buddy! Bev
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Thank you!
Oh dear, I better behave. Love that sum up.
Right Bev! No master far far from that but it would be cool to see what you would write. And hey I miss that part of you.
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Thanks, buddy. I do have to come up wiyh a tanka for the upcoming contest. So, I guess I'd better 'sharpen my pencil' LOL. You are so sweet Vicki, and I have been sending good vibes your way. Love ya, Bev
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I knew somebody was! Lol!
Comment from Showboat
What an outstanding essay, absolutely loved it. Here you go! Have a sixer!
The Damascus Road story is one of many favorites and gives us sinners a good feeling about the future, lol. After all, who could be worse than Paul - one of our great lions of God.
The horses' reigns - reins.
Super duper! Thank you for sharing. I'm waiting for more.
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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What an outstanding essay, absolutely loved it. Here you go! Have a sixer!
The Damascus Road story is one of many favorites and gives us sinners a good feeling about the future, lol. After all, who could be worse than Paul - one of our great lions of God.
The horses' reigns - reins.
Super duper! Thank you for sharing. I'm waiting for more.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 15-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2013
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Gayle, thank you so very much. I am honored by your generosity and encouragement. I so appreciate you taking time to read. Hugs, Bev
