Rabbit
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Rabbit, Chapter One"A Boy's Story of the rural South
49 total reviews
Comment from barkingdog
This is a delightful beginning to what appears to be a wonderful story.
Everything is so visual and your narrator is talking directly to the reader. I plan to follow along.I'm very interested in where this is going with Virgil and Rabbit.
I didn't get many spags. I was too caught up in reading. LOL Here are two:
-boys, my brother John and I.[and me]
-in Japan(,) and we
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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This is a delightful beginning to what appears to be a wonderful story.
Everything is so visual and your narrator is talking directly to the reader. I plan to follow along.I'm very interested in where this is going with Virgil and Rabbit.
I didn't get many spags. I was too caught up in reading. LOL Here are two:
-boys, my brother John and I.[and me]
-in Japan(,) and we
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading and the wonderful compliment of the six. We don't get many and I'm always humbled to get one. Regards, Bill
Comment from 4tulips
I enjoyed reading your story. I thought it was a great beginning of a story for further chapters. It read smooth and was easy to follow visually as I continued to read further. I didn't see any immediate changes needed. Good job.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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I enjoyed reading your story. I thought it was a great beginning of a story for further chapters. It read smooth and was easy to follow visually as I continued to read further. I didn't see any immediate changes needed. Good job.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. I'll post another chapter soon.
Comment from adewpearl
I remember Rabbit from before :-)
seasonal names are not traditionally capitalized
I can just imagine your fear at being sent to Father Flanigan LOL
I'm so happy to be reading about Virgil again
I love the way you describe his walk
excellent use of dialect and colloquial speech
I hope you keep the chapters coming
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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I remember Rabbit from before :-)
seasonal names are not traditionally capitalized
I can just imagine your fear at being sent to Father Flanigan LOL
I'm so happy to be reading about Virgil again
I love the way you describe his walk
excellent use of dialect and colloquial speech
I hope you keep the chapters coming
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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Hi Brooke - thanks for reading. My muse has been absent, so I did return to some previous work. This is being written as fiction, or what my friend Lee calls Humpwhistle - truth wrapped up around little lies. Regards, Bill
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Lordy, don't go getting corrupted by Lee!! LOL
Comment from Adri7enne
Ah, what a nice story this is aiming to be. I can feel the affection building between Bill and old Virgil, right from the start. You are immersing us in a tale of the old south - a gentle tale by all appearances.
Good show, Bill. It's cold here. Snow and wind and furnaces on full blast. Good to read a tale of a southern family.
Well done. I enjoyed the first chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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Ah, what a nice story this is aiming to be. I can feel the affection building between Bill and old Virgil, right from the start. You are immersing us in a tale of the old south - a gentle tale by all appearances.
Good show, Bill. It's cold here. Snow and wind and furnaces on full blast. Good to read a tale of a southern family.
Well done. I enjoyed the first chapter.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
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Thanks Adri - my muse was on vacation, but I hope to get back. Sorry it's cold there. I'm actually getting ready to go hit some golf balls. Still cool, but should be low fifties. Bill
Comment from c_lucas
This has the makings of a very good read. You were in West Central Georgia and I was in Augusta,Georgia. I left at the end of 1960. Thank you for writing about Rabbit adventure.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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This has the makings of a very good read. You were in West Central Georgia and I was in Augusta,Georgia. I left at the end of 1960. Thank you for writing about Rabbit adventure.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading Charlie, the kind comments and the compliment of a six. I appreciate them all! Bill
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I fell in love with the "Rebbit" stories the first time you posted one. You earned the sixer.
Comment from Beverley101
Excellent work. I can see old Virge and Rabbit and that's what you want to do - bring the characters alive. Your southern dialogue rings true as well, although I'm no judge of southern talk. Watch your commas - you don't always need them. Ex: 'My grandfather could plow with them, but they played with him.' You don't need a comma before 'but'. A good read.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Excellent work. I can see old Virge and Rabbit and that's what you want to do - bring the characters alive. Your southern dialogue rings true as well, although I'm no judge of southern talk. Watch your commas - you don't always need them. Ex: 'My grandfather could plow with them, but they played with him.' You don't need a comma before 'but'. A good read.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading, the kind words and the spot. I'll circle back around for that. Regards, Bill
Comment from Shirley B
Dear Bill, this took me back to another time and place. It was a simpler time it was called childhood. I knew when I started reading this it was based on a true story. I am hooked already. I will be a loyal reader. You use some great imagery here. It takes me back to a time I can remember. Some people might not ever know about. Its good to think back sometimes. Great write. Thanks for sharing, Shirley
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Dear Bill, this took me back to another time and place. It was a simpler time it was called childhood. I knew when I started reading this it was based on a true story. I am hooked already. I will be a loyal reader. You use some great imagery here. It takes me back to a time I can remember. Some people might not ever know about. Its good to think back sometimes. Great write. Thanks for sharing, Shirley
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Shirley - you thank me for writing. I thank you for the big smile your brought my way. Always warmest regards, Bill
Comment from Alecia Saldana7
A sweet feel of calmness gave back my true belonging of me. Sometimes I try to be something other than me. This hope of creating small into large. Now pleasent ways of your childhood give for me my small beauty
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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A sweet feel of calmness gave back my true belonging of me. Sometimes I try to be something other than me. This hope of creating small into large. Now pleasent ways of your childhood give for me my small beauty
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading and I appreciate the feedback. Bill
Comment from PoeticXscape
aww this is an enchanting little tale. I have a rabbit, she is quite old now but she is so sweet. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.
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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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aww this is an enchanting little tale. I have a rabbit, she is quite old now but she is so sweet. Thank you for sharing and keep up the good work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
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Thanks for reading and your kind comments. Bill
