Reviews from

The Death of Truth

1/9/1 syllable contest

8 total reviews 
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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How true! Lies can become more powerful than the truth and impossible to sift through. Pretty soon the lie, if promoted often enough, becomes what other's believe regardless of whether it's true or not. Frightfully scary.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2012
    Thank you for reading this poem, as I intended it to be read
Comment from elliejean
Excellent
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I love the picture. I love the poem. Lies choking at our roots. They push other people away. Then truth. That is the word you need. Great work.

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2012
    Thank you so much for reading and critiquing my little poem
Comment from phill doran
Excellent
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Hello there
There are some strong entries I have already read, but I would count yours amongst the stronger: I hope it works out well for you at the booth!
My only comment is that the ellipses (...) is perhaps unnecessary here? Just a thought - if you do intend to punctuate then rather just use a comma after 'grow'/ Only my thoughts, nothing special...
Cheers
phill

 Comment Written 31-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 31-Dec-2012
    The contest isn't going so well, but I'm very happy to get this positive review. I took you advice and dropped the ellipses - you were right about that.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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Your poem is in excellent 1/9/1 syllable count
I like the alliteration of tenacious tendrils truth
and the dark mood you create through this imagery captures the spirit of the damaging power of lies
Brooke

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
    Thank you, Brooke
Comment from BigPoppaJrock
Excellent
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I really like your poem. I like this format as well it is amazing to me what can be said in 11 syllables. You paint very vivid mental picture here. Good luck in your contest

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
    Thank you catching my intention.
Comment from doris1022
Excellent
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is chocking the right spelling?? or maybe choking? not sure there. love the picture and the poem idea. needs clarification though.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
    Yes you are right, I misspelled choking. Thank you I fixed it. I always appreciate this kind of help. It is a simple form, so eleven syllables is all I have to work with.
Comment from Charade
Excellent
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Wow the detail of the eye is cool yet creepy, and still commands attention.

I love how the lines with 1 syllable are polar opposites; it's kind of like colors-blue complimenting orange though they're opposites. Powerful with such few words. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
    Thank you so much. You really captured the essence of this poem. Green is often the color of evil or envy, and you completely got my intention.
Comment from L. Sherman
Excellent
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I really like this piece. Tenacious is a great descriptive word, green makes me think of jealousy - which makes me think of lying. I really like how much power is in the second line. It really shows how much malicious, destructive power lies have.

Well done.

L. Sherman

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
    THank you so much for this insightful review.