Pumpkin's Rival
Plum fears that Pumpkin would take its place.25 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
THis is a unique poem. I see a clown losing his nose which is a plum and then the pumkin may take the plum's place. You have a poem that captures the reader's interest.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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THis is a unique poem. I see a clown losing his nose which is a plum and then the pumkin may take the plum's place. You have a poem that captures the reader's interest.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Thanks for your review and stars. The plum falls down to hide the clown's smiling mouth.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
You have made effective use of every syllable in this clever 5-7-5 that pinpoints how jealousy is born--even when smiles are present!
I gave a 4 because the mixture of verb tenses is a bit distracting to me. Also, "plum" and "hide" do not agree in number.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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You have made effective use of every syllable in this clever 5-7-5 that pinpoints how jealousy is born--even when smiles are present!
I gave a 4 because the mixture of verb tenses is a bit distracting to me. Also, "plum" and "hide" do not agree in number.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your honest review and stars.
Comment from God's Writer
A grand and powerful poem my friend. I love the simplicity but also the strength of this awesome poem. I really feel I can learn a lot from you.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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A grand and powerful poem my friend. I love the simplicity but also the strength of this awesome poem. I really feel I can learn a lot from you.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your great view and higher stars. I'm happy to say that such a senior is my fan! Welcome Happy Poet.
Comment from Righteous Riter
This piece meets the syllable count of the 5-7-5. This piece makes me think of the circus. In the authors notes the writer shares information that makes the message to this piece more clear.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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This piece meets the syllable count of the 5-7-5. This piece makes me think of the circus. In the authors notes the writer shares information that makes the message to this piece more clear.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your great review. Of course I got the idea from the circus. There's a lot to learn more from everything.
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Sha lini,
The choice of words for your 5/7/5 poem gives the mind much to contemplate from the seventeen syllables. As you highlighted in your Author Notes, relationships can become complicated, and misunderstandings can destroy them. Friendships that are open and honest will normally endure. Jealousy destroys trust and love.
Curtis
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Sha lini,
The choice of words for your 5/7/5 poem gives the mind much to contemplate from the seventeen syllables. As you highlighted in your Author Notes, relationships can become complicated, and misunderstandings can destroy them. Friendships that are open and honest will normally endure. Jealousy destroys trust and love.
Curtis
Comment Written 27-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your great review. Though the lines says about clown, plum and pumpkin, it indirectly highlights the relationships.
Comment from chasennov
'Pumpkin's Rival.' A good poem you wrote here. Does a lot of thought provoking stuff. I thought it was well formulated to suggest something other than what it means. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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'Pumpkin's Rival.' A good poem you wrote here. Does a lot of thought provoking stuff. I thought it was well formulated to suggest something other than what it means. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your great review and stars. The suggestion is given in the author notes.
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My great pleasure to review your work.
Comment from country ranch writer
oh poor plum is now glum for it fears the clown is going to take the pumpkin over him if he smile at the pumpkin. same with guys and girls fighting over each other when on or another smile at another
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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oh poor plum is now glum for it fears the clown is going to take the pumpkin over him if he smile at the pumpkin. same with guys and girls fighting over each other when on or another smile at another
Comment Written 27-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your great review and stars. Of course, you got the point.
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WELCOME
Comment from emjaihammond
This is a very cute poem, really entertaining to read. I noticed you originally wrote this I December. I'm new here, and wondered if you could answer a question I've been thinking about concerning this. When the certificate for this poem was up a few months ago, did you wait and then use another certificate to put it back up on the list? Or did they put it back up because of the contest? I didn't understand the value of getting high on the list with some of my first pieces and just let them fade away. Just asking, you don't have to answer. I think this is a very good entry. And, thanks!
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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This is a very cute poem, really entertaining to read. I noticed you originally wrote this I December. I'm new here, and wondered if you could answer a question I've been thinking about concerning this. When the certificate for this poem was up a few months ago, did you wait and then use another certificate to put it back up on the list? Or did they put it back up because of the contest? I didn't understand the value of getting high on the list with some of my first pieces and just let them fade away. Just asking, you don't have to answer. I think this is a very good entry. And, thanks!
Comment Written 27-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much for your review and stars. I never focus on the contests to win. I just wanted to share it with all. Exactly I don't know the answer. Go to certificate menu in your profile and choose a certificate and apply for your work. I think it will work. i think i answered you.
Comment from Jade Lawson
Hi, this is an articulated short poem, I liked the rythm and how it sounds. It made me wonder and read it a few times to better grasp its meaning.
The author's notes were quite helpful, there is a good imagery here, though.
Good luck, I think you did very well.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2013
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Hi, this is an articulated short poem, I liked the rythm and how it sounds. It made me wonder and read it a few times to better grasp its meaning.
The author's notes were quite helpful, there is a good imagery here, though.
Good luck, I think you did very well.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2013
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Thank you Angel, for your honest and great review, and *****
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good short poem I like the way it sounds for a short poem you said a lot I hope you do well in the contest and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2013
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This is a good short poem I like the way it sounds for a short poem you said a lot I hope you do well in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 26-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much for your great review and the excellent stars.
