Trouble -The Fool I've Been
Dawn demands respect & we learn more about Mitch...47 total reviews
Comment from mshirachot
Believe me! You are making perfect sense! But this is coming from someone who actually did "take the plunge" to meet...but only after nearly FIVE months of writing back and forth. And then, it took a phone call to convince me to take the risk to go on that first journey.
If he and you (or the fictional pair) are meant to be, then the delay will not matter in the long run. If he departs because of impatience...then the answer rings loud and clear!
Write on, dear friend!!!
Blessings!
Marsha
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012
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Believe me! You are making perfect sense! But this is coming from someone who actually did "take the plunge" to meet...but only after nearly FIVE months of writing back and forth. And then, it took a phone call to convince me to take the risk to go on that first journey.
If he and you (or the fictional pair) are meant to be, then the delay will not matter in the long run. If he departs because of impatience...then the answer rings loud and clear!
Write on, dear friend!!!
Blessings!
Marsha
Comment Written 26-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012
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Oh Marsha, you are such a joy, and this review is wonderful! Thank you so much for these stellar comments and this great rating - this is what makes writing this story so much fun - it's just wonderful involvement like this that keeps me so encouraged and inspired!
Comment from visionary1234
Goodness - I like your "dear Diary" kind of style with this story Dawn - totally breathless and believable - well done! tut tut! :) Sharyn
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012
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Goodness - I like your "dear Diary" kind of style with this story Dawn - totally breathless and believable - well done! tut tut! :) Sharyn
Comment Written 26-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2012
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Thank you - I'm so happy you are pleased. I loved writing it!
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Hah! Me thinks the title should be 'Misgivings.' This artificial doll is having misgivings, as indeed, she probably would in real life. Actually, in such a situation, my philosophy has always been-- Carpe Diem!! However, such a character would have in the back of her mind--'caution is the better part of valour.' After one of my recent reviews, I feel you have tempered the story with the right balance of to-ing and fro-ing, certainly keeping the reader intrigued. Giddy i
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Hah! Me thinks the title should be 'Misgivings.' This artificial doll is having misgivings, as indeed, she probably would in real life. Actually, in such a situation, my philosophy has always been-- Carpe Diem!! However, such a character would have in the back of her mind--'caution is the better part of valour.' After one of my recent reviews, I feel you have tempered the story with the right balance of to-ing and fro-ing, certainly keeping the reader intrigued. Giddy i
Comment Written 25-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Hahahahaha! You are great! I'm glad you are enjoying the to-ing and fro-ing, Giddy. Certainly I am, but soon enough all will have to be revealed I guess...thank you so much for this review.
Comment from mtnspirit
Hi Dawn,
If this is true then he maybe a little disappointed because you've changed your mind, but he'll still be standing in the wings hoping to continue the journey if he is sincere.
And if you have a relationship you certainly want sincerity. If he isn't sincere then you don't need him anyway.
Enjoyed your story and I look forward to reading more.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Hi Dawn,
If this is true then he maybe a little disappointed because you've changed your mind, but he'll still be standing in the wings hoping to continue the journey if he is sincere.
And if you have a relationship you certainly want sincerity. If he isn't sincere then you don't need him anyway.
Enjoyed your story and I look forward to reading more.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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You are so right - but I'm pretty confident all will be okay - part 7 is a sonnet that should explain, at least in addition to this part. Thank you, my friend. I'm so glad you're enjoying this story.
Comment from c_lucas
Being a writer does not mean that emotions can get in your way. There has been times in my life when I was speechless. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Being a writer does not mean that emotions can get in your way. There has been times in my life when I was speechless. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Thank you for the encouragement, Charlie - it's much appreciated.
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You're welcome, Dawn. Charlie
Comment from Spitfire
What a quandary. Now, i'm hoping this isn't playing out in reality. I know where you're coming from and he should too, if this true and he's reading your prose. Who knows? He probably had doubts too about whether you'll accept him in person. People always sound better on paper. I've been on the phone to a couple of fans whose poetry belied their voices and behavior.Yet, not necessarily a bad thing. I'm thinking now that maybe it's better if he visits you? Or you meet half way and have a nice vacation seeing new sights.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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What a quandary. Now, i'm hoping this isn't playing out in reality. I know where you're coming from and he should too, if this true and he's reading your prose. Who knows? He probably had doubts too about whether you'll accept him in person. People always sound better on paper. I've been on the phone to a couple of fans whose poetry belied their voices and behavior.Yet, not necessarily a bad thing. I'm thinking now that maybe it's better if he visits you? Or you meet half way and have a nice vacation seeing new sights.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Yes, well, perhaps it's still a bit soon for that, too, but maybe...I will want to see his response to this latest post, I guess. Thank you, my friend.
Comment from MidnightWriter4U
Ah, the lack of confidence in one's feelings...the creeping in of doubt...how human. Is this fear rational? Or is it from past experience that has nothing to do with the here and now? Very well written, emotional tale. One question/suggestion:
I guess when I arrived (arrive), when we had (have) a chance to actually spend time together, he would (will) see who I am, would(omit would) (add and) understand that it really was that glimpse of his soul that prompted my actions.
I guess when=future
I guess when I arrive, when we have a chance to actually spend time together, he will see who I am, and understand that it really was that glimpse of his soul that prompted my actions.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Ah, the lack of confidence in one's feelings...the creeping in of doubt...how human. Is this fear rational? Or is it from past experience that has nothing to do with the here and now? Very well written, emotional tale. One question/suggestion:
I guess when I arrived (arrive), when we had (have) a chance to actually spend time together, he would (will) see who I am, would(omit would) (add and) understand that it really was that glimpse of his soul that prompted my actions.
I guess when=future
I guess when I arrive, when we have a chance to actually spend time together, he will see who I am, and understand that it really was that glimpse of his soul that prompted my actions.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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You know what, you are half right - there were two words missing that clarify it as past tense. Thank you eagle eye! :) It's all fixed now.
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You are welcome. Just call me Hawkeye the second. (MASH) LOL! MN :)
Comment from Jean Lutz
So the lion sleeps tonight, but what will the tomorrow bring? I love the cat pictures you are choosing. After all cats stalk.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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So the lion sleeps tonight, but what will the tomorrow bring? I love the cat pictures you are choosing. After all cats stalk.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Hmmm, but who's doing the stalking...is it the lioness (who does the family's hunting) or is it the King himself? It's been too long for me to remember. I'd better look back, huh? (Thanks for a great review!)
Comment from EMB
Writers are rarely at a loss for words. We just have difficulty finding words that will produce the results we wish for. Sometimes, the results we wish for is impossible to achieve, given certain circumstances, and that's what ties us up a bit, calling it things like writer's block or whatever.
If this guy is half of what you want him to be, you should be able to just say how you feel. About everything. If there's one thing we old people should know better than the younger ones, it's that starting off on a foot that isn't really yours is NOT the way to go. (You know, like the girl who pretends she like football until the honeymoon is over.)
Speak. Say what you need to say. If he really cares to know who you really are and if you care to show him, then let's get on with it. You're a person who knows how to communicate, so that's not the real issue. And if he is someone who has you already second-guessing your wording like a nervous fourteen-year-old who's about to text her first boyfriend...well, I'm not so sure that's a good thing.
Okay. I'm done. Did any of my jabbering help? :D
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Writers are rarely at a loss for words. We just have difficulty finding words that will produce the results we wish for. Sometimes, the results we wish for is impossible to achieve, given certain circumstances, and that's what ties us up a bit, calling it things like writer's block or whatever.
If this guy is half of what you want him to be, you should be able to just say how you feel. About everything. If there's one thing we old people should know better than the younger ones, it's that starting off on a foot that isn't really yours is NOT the way to go. (You know, like the girl who pretends she like football until the honeymoon is over.)
Speak. Say what you need to say. If he really cares to know who you really are and if you care to show him, then let's get on with it. You're a person who knows how to communicate, so that's not the real issue. And if he is someone who has you already second-guessing your wording like a nervous fourteen-year-old who's about to text her first boyfriend...well, I'm not so sure that's a good thing.
Okay. I'm done. Did any of my jabbering help? :D
Comment Written 25-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Okay, well, that's about the most serious review I think I've received from you, so I will be as serious as I can in response (but one little smart-as- remark first, puleeze...okay two or more?)First, who are you calling old? (LOL) Secondly, is this a review for this part or another, earlier one? (when you asked me if I had told him about these postings...LOL) And thirdly, (and not really joking anymore)I haven't, nor would I pretend to, ever, like football 'until the honeymoon is over'! All kidding aside, if nothing else is gleaned from these writings, that should be crystal clear - as Popeye says, I yam who I yam. And if this ISN'T fiction, I'd say it's pretty courageous so far, wouldn't you? I've made it pretty darn clear how I feel and I can't exactly slam anybody upside the head to force anything - but then I did say in a previous post that he wanted to meet. You have made some very valid points, Edward, but let me put it to you this way - suppose he just didn't want to potentially embarrass me? But then again, the reverse could be true - if I wasn't writing fiction, I wouldn't want to embarrass HIM. Telling him anything more than I've said (and I've been pretty candid) would most certainly have to be done privately. And then the intrigue of this series would end...:) (Yes, your 'jabbering is REALLY GREAT - it would have been VERY easy for me to slip up and reveal if it is fact or fiction...YOU ARE GOOD! (Thanks for a FABULOUS review!) Merry Christmas!
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Girl, puleeze. I'm just a friend speaking with less than half the facts, just throwing something out there, hoping it's the monkey wrench needed to shake things up to be closer to clarity. Guess it didn't work. :) I just figured we're your sounding board, which I understand. You know, this reminds me of an awesome quote: "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer and wished we didn't." (I'm not saying this applies here. I just love the quote.)
Just keep me posted, girlfriend. And know that I treasure you enough to speak it as it comes to me, laced with the love and loyalty of our friendship. :)
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Well, I have a great idea - since you are so eager to know whether I am writing fact or fiction, agree as my dear friend to 'test the waters', then you'll either call my bluff or you'll have a task set before you. Either way you will know, won't you? (hehehe) One catch - if you say you will and it turns out to be non-fiction, you must follow through or I will feel tricked. :)
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Wait, forget that - fact of fiction, not the way I want to continue...and not really fair to stop you cold either. You're are, after all, only doing what I was after, it's just I am feeling a little mean in light of the sweet, honest responses I've been getting...maybe I shouldn't carry on...:)
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LOL Test the waters? Now I'm lost. What are you talking about???
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Yeah, I've been known to "get mean" once in a while. (Still don't know what the hell that means, though. LOL) Are you saying you've shown me your brand of mean? I'm thinking you need to take a meanie seminar sometime. You're out of practice or something. :) (Oh I'm sorry. Was that mean? LOL)
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Moot point - I rescinded. :)
Comment from artemis53
I understand precisely, Dawn. I have carried out that quest, been reluctant by the answers given and yet satisfied that I had done my best. "and I was pushing aside my better judgement, the little voice that kept whispering, 'too soon, too soon...' Not necessarily so.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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I understand precisely, Dawn. I have carried out that quest, been reluctant by the answers given and yet satisfied that I had done my best. "and I was pushing aside my better judgement, the little voice that kept whispering, 'too soon, too soon...' Not necessarily so.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2012
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Hmm, true...but then I would rather err on the side of caution. If this is a non-fiction story especially. :) As a fiction, it keeps the tale fresh, and on-going...
