Fly
How we are helpless before these tiny creatures16 total reviews
Comment from jppoet
CONGRATULATIONS. THIS IS NOT ONLY AN EXCELLENT PORTRAIT OF THIS CREATURE BUT WEAVED INTO A VERY DIFFICULTY PATTERN OF SYLLABLES. JOHN
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2013
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CONGRATULATIONS. THIS IS NOT ONLY AN EXCELLENT PORTRAIT OF THIS CREATURE BUT WEAVED INTO A VERY DIFFICULTY PATTERN OF SYLLABLES. JOHN
Comment Written 16-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much .sorry for delaying the reply i was actively reviewing so that i can promote my new post "AT the dentist"please have a look.
Comment from Bill Schott
This tetractys has touched on one of my least favorite issues, the intolerable fly. I can only say that this fly's comments, within your poem, are shared by all of them.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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This tetractys has touched on one of my least favorite issues, the intolerable fly. I can only say that this fly's comments, within your poem, are shared by all of them.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Thank you very much for your encouraging words.
Comment from rama devi
LOl-Unique and clever - I bet that IS what they buzz in our ears. Ha ha ha.
This is a good etnry for the contest and a most innovative one--sure to get votes. You might want to clean up formatting and spag typos, though:
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"h(H)uge human,
Here I am humming,(; or -- and add space)you can do nothing!"
With suggestions:
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"huge human,
Here I am humming,you can do nothing!"
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"Huge human,
Here I am humming--you can do nothing!"
or
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"Huge human,
Here I am humming; you can do nothing!"
or
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"Huge human,
Here I am humming, you can do nothing!"
I'll be very happy to upgrade when polished. Good luck in the contest...this is a strong contender for my vote!
Warmly,r d
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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LOl-Unique and clever - I bet that IS what they buzz in our ears. Ha ha ha.
This is a good etnry for the contest and a most innovative one--sure to get votes. You might want to clean up formatting and spag typos, though:
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"h(H)uge human,
Here I am humming,(; or -- and add space)you can do nothing!"
With suggestions:
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"huge human,
Here I am humming,you can do nothing!"
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"Huge human,
Here I am humming--you can do nothing!"
or
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"Huge human,
Here I am humming; you can do nothing!"
or
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"Huge human,
Here I am humming, you can do nothing!"
I'll be very happy to upgrade when polished. Good luck in the contest...this is a strong contender for my vote!
Warmly,r d
Comment Written 15-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Thank you very much for these suggestions.I will. make the changes ,but I think I am too late for the contest .That's OK.Improving is more important than winning .Thank you for taking time to write such detailed review .I am a learner and am eager to get any help..
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Thanks for your gracious response and I
m so glad to help, especially someone with such a positive attitude! :) Warmly, rd
Comment from Clarissa Vixen
This is funny and good. One thing about these tetractys poems, I think, is that each line should stand on it's own in completeness. For me the first few lines don't stand alone. Still like the read, and the subject. Gave me goosebumps just the thought of the fly in the ear!
Clarissa Vixen.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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This is funny and good. One thing about these tetractys poems, I think, is that each line should stand on it's own in completeness. For me the first few lines don't stand alone. Still like the read, and the subject. Gave me goosebumps just the thought of the fly in the ear!
Clarissa Vixen.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Thank you very much.I get your point .Let me see if I can rework it in that way .Otherwise I will keep your point when I try another tetractys.
Comment from Galactia
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"huge human,
Here I am humming,you can do nothing!"
perfect syllable count along all lines.
favourite lines....
Ear buzzing
Drones,"huge human,
great job and GL
Regards
tia
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"huge human,
Here I am humming,you can do nothing!"
perfect syllable count along all lines.
favourite lines....
Ear buzzing
Drones,"huge human,
great job and GL
Regards
tia
Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Thank you very much .
Comment from Cheryl Baker
I enjoyed this poem. It made me laugh. Your poem was particularly pertinent for me after working in the garden yesterday with a fly buzzing around my ears.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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I enjoyed this poem. It made me laugh. Your poem was particularly pertinent for me after working in the garden yesterday with a fly buzzing around my ears.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Thank you very much.
Comment from HittorX
Very cool, love the black with this poem! To me it only adds to those damn pest! Nice work, looks to me like you got the rules down pat. I wish you the best of luck!
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Very cool, love the black with this poem! To me it only adds to those damn pest! Nice work, looks to me like you got the rules down pat. I wish you the best of luck!
Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Thank you very much.
Comment from elliejean
I love the poem. I love the author notes. I am with you. I know the Lord crated these creatures to take down humans, a peg or two. Great work.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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I love the poem. I love the author notes. I am with you. I know the Lord crated these creatures to take down humans, a peg or two. Great work.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Thank you very much .
Comment from missy98writer
Poet,
Your Tetactys poem is very well written with strong imagery.
In your poem you used great alliteration with the D & H words.
You also used excellent personification of a fly.
I enjoyed your lines:
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"huge human,
Here I am humming,you can do nothing!"
I wish you good luck in the contest.
I'd recommend your Tetactys poem to other reviewers.
Keep on writing creative poetry,
Please have a Happy Holidays,
Missy.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Poet,
Your Tetactys poem is very well written with strong imagery.
In your poem you used great alliteration with the D & H words.
You also used excellent personification of a fly.
I enjoyed your lines:
Fly
In my
Ear buzzing
Drones,"huge human,
Here I am humming,you can do nothing!"
I wish you good luck in the contest.
I'd recommend your Tetactys poem to other reviewers.
Keep on writing creative poetry,
Please have a Happy Holidays,
Missy.
Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Thank you very much for your generous review. Thank you for offering to recommend the poem.
Comment from pattipac
Oh, how I can relate to this! Years ago my husband had a moth fly into his ear. It was so earitation_-He,He,excuse my pun. He had to go to the ER to have it removed. Is't it funny how the tiniest monster can keep you grounded?
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Oh, how I can relate to this! Years ago my husband had a moth fly into his ear. It was so earitation_-He,He,excuse my pun. He had to go to the ER to have it removed. Is't it funny how the tiniest monster can keep you grounded?
Comment Written 14-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2012
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Yes it is .These tiny monsters really test our patience.Thank you very much for your kind review.