Alone
Contest entry for Lonely Poem-freestyle29 total reviews
Comment from Erys
I like the question.
Loneliness is not always silent...she bites the heart, then when you touch it, can hear the sound of some steps leaving ... that is, as beautiful is a song, comes a moment when it is covered by silence.
nice poem!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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I like the question.
Loneliness is not always silent...she bites the heart, then when you touch it, can hear the sound of some steps leaving ... that is, as beautiful is a song, comes a moment when it is covered by silence.
nice poem!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Thank you Erys for your kind review. I am glad you liked my poem.
Comment from Treischel
What a touching poem as a sad entrant into this melancholy poetic category contest. The empty touch expressing your empty soul a day after your loss? You express it well in free flowing verse that sings with sadness and desolation. My heart goes out! Well done, my dear!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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What a touching poem as a sad entrant into this melancholy poetic category contest. The empty touch expressing your empty soul a day after your loss? You express it well in free flowing verse that sings with sadness and desolation. My heart goes out! Well done, my dear!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Thank you Treischel for your review of my poem and your kind comments. Yes, the silence after they are gone is always a strong sad moment. I have now lost a brother and my dad and both times it was that silence that put me to tears.
Comment from Flamingbush
What an excellent description of what silence feels like and sounds like!
"distant train whistle" - louder than in the house, right?
"deafening silence" - nice oxymoron/use of opposites
"I reached over to pat your hand... cold empty sheets" - nice contrast between expected warmth and frigid coldness
"sleepy mind can't grasp what's happening" - nice touch!
"Your every breath had been so loud, then it stopped" - again, I like the vacuum you paint here to emphasize the greatness of the silence.
Nice work!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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What an excellent description of what silence feels like and sounds like!
"distant train whistle" - louder than in the house, right?
"deafening silence" - nice oxymoron/use of opposites
"I reached over to pat your hand... cold empty sheets" - nice contrast between expected warmth and frigid coldness
"sleepy mind can't grasp what's happening" - nice touch!
"Your every breath had been so loud, then it stopped" - again, I like the vacuum you paint here to emphasize the greatness of the silence.
Nice work!
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Thank you so much flamingbush for your review of my work. I appreciate your input.
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You're very welcome. God bless.
Comment from 9999pool
When the dead do not seem dead to us, it is frightening. The silence can deafened us and numb our senses. Loneliness is a condition we felt at some time in our lives. The cold sheets is just a start. it will be the empty chir at the dinner table next or that favorite spoon, unused, untouched, taboo. So to be alone not in solitude but to be alone as in loneliness - silence can be a terrible thing to have. Good write, prose and message. Cheers. Richard.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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When the dead do not seem dead to us, it is frightening. The silence can deafened us and numb our senses. Loneliness is a condition we felt at some time in our lives. The cold sheets is just a start. it will be the empty chir at the dinner table next or that favorite spoon, unused, untouched, taboo. So to be alone not in solitude but to be alone as in loneliness - silence can be a terrible thing to have. Good write, prose and message. Cheers. Richard.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2012
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Thank you Ritchie for reviewing my poem. You are a loyal fan.
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Hi justjo, Welcome.
You are a loyal fan too. That makes us just two loyal fans. How's that? LOL. Cheers. Ritchie.
Comment from Norbanus
You certainly grabbed th3e essence of alone in you verse, when you show the feeling relayed by a simple touch. Nicely done. Though I mush admit I prefer rhyme and meter in poetry.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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You certainly grabbed th3e essence of alone in you verse, when you show the feeling relayed by a simple touch. Nicely done. Though I mush admit I prefer rhyme and meter in poetry.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your kind review of my work. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi justj,
You have penned a lovely poem for the contest. I like your expressive word choices, the even flow and the theme appeals to me as I am a widow too. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Hi justj,
You have penned a lovely poem for the contest. I like your expressive word choices, the even flow and the theme appeals to me as I am a widow too. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
Comment Written 30-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Thank you Chey for your kind review. I am sorry for your loss. I am not a widow but wrote my poem from empathy with my mother when she lost my dad after being married over 54 years. I can't an don't even want to think about losing my husband of 39 years. We have been together more than half my life. In fact, he is my life.
Jo
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I am glad you aren't a widow. Widow-dom is a real challengs. Hugs, chey
Comment from Gungalo
Is this what it feels like to be alone?
Silence
Silence and the ever knowing that they will no longer be there. Very sad, this lonely. Sigh it hurts like nothing else ever will.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Is this what it feels like to be alone?
Silence
Silence and the ever knowing that they will no longer be there. Very sad, this lonely. Sigh it hurts like nothing else ever will.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Gungalo, I admire your work so much. Thank you for reviewing my work. I appreciate your comments.
Jo
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Jo thanks so very much.
Comment from Charlene0513
A poem addressing the loss of a beloved one and the solitude that one finds them selves in trying to get back to reality and go on with their lives.
Charlene
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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A poem addressing the loss of a beloved one and the solitude that one finds them selves in trying to get back to reality and go on with their lives.
Charlene
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Charlene, thank you for your review. Yes, it's the getting back that is so hard. Sometimes it takes a very long time.
Jo
Comment from amada
This is a very good poem. Your author notes seem to be deliberating as well. This phrase " Cold empty sheets
For a moment I forgot. And then, in your author notes "Silence can be loud." Powerful.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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This is a very good poem. Your author notes seem to be deliberating as well. This phrase " Cold empty sheets
For a moment I forgot. And then, in your author notes "Silence can be loud." Powerful.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2012
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Thank you amada for your review. I appreciate you reading my work and making comments.
Jo
Comment from angel123
Your poem is touching and very emotional. I enjoyed reading it and it flows well. It is well written and I like the artwork.
Angel123
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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Your poem is touching and very emotional. I enjoyed reading it and it flows well. It is well written and I like the artwork.
Angel123
Comment Written 29-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2012
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Thank you Angel 123 for your kind review. I am glad you liked it. I also like photography. The picture is one of mine. Thanks.
