A collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 " Trapped"A collection of treasured poems
14 total reviews
Comment from el twelve
very good poem and made me smile your last line. To be in the contest the word cowardliness is more than 2 syllables. I really enjoyed the poem and picture
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
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very good poem and made me smile your last line. To be in the contest the word cowardliness is more than 2 syllables. I really enjoyed the poem and picture
Comment Written 28-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
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Would cowardness be better ?
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i am not the authority but go on a syllable counter and if it is too many find a word that means the same because the poem is good.
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I have changed it anyway, Thanks
Comment from Ekim777
A fine poem. It is uncanny because don't we all fear spiders. And your final couplet is beautiful, rich and very human after all whoever dies well? The poet should be able to write about anything, even spiders.
"More delicate than a snowflake, is a sunset,
Woven by a Black Widow's spinneret.
Dew dancing along a dipping funnel of thread
Lovely as a gilt-edged necklace;a silhouette..." -Ekim777
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
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A fine poem. It is uncanny because don't we all fear spiders. And your final couplet is beautiful, rich and very human after all whoever dies well? The poet should be able to write about anything, even spiders.
"More delicate than a snowflake, is a sunset,
Woven by a Black Widow's spinneret.
Dew dancing along a dipping funnel of thread
Lovely as a gilt-edged necklace;a silhouette..." -Ekim777
Comment Written 28-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
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Thank you Ekiim and I love your little verse
Comment from Bloomer Burbs
Hi the author
An excellent message contained within your poem.
Much improved.
I wish you the very best in the competition.
Four stars because it does not follow the entry rules. Your syllable count is all over the place.
With revisit if you revise.
Regards, Pete
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reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
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Hi the author
An excellent message contained within your poem.
Much improved.
I wish you the very best in the competition.
Four stars because it does not follow the entry rules. Your syllable count is all over the place.
With revisit if you revise.
Regards, Pete
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
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Okay
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Thank you Pete
Comment from LenSive
Can you rework it some more. Cowardliness is 4 syllables,
and the next line is 10. But you are getting better! I must go to bed now, but tomorrow I'll check it again.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
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Can you rework it some more. Cowardliness is 4 syllables,
and the next line is 10. But you are getting better! I must go to bed now, but tomorrow I'll check it again.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2012
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Okay
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Two syllables: hungry (2 vowels)
Nine syllables: I love my new car which I bought last year.
Say each word out loud. we naturally break up the words into syllables.
Here's is a 2-5-7 I now compose to help you understand: Mother? (2)
Where is my new tie? (5)
The one I got for Christmas? (7)
Does this help?
