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A collection

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 " Life"
A collection of treasured poems

3 total reviews 
Comment from k.french
Excellent
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This is a fabulous piece of writing,I like the words and the rhyme,Im so looking forward to buying your work,I definitely recommend this for somebody else to read :-)

 Comment Written 25-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 25-Nov-2012
    Thank you so much for your review
Comment from wanderlost
Excellent
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You have improved your meter but not perfected it, because your fifth quatrain is not a quatrain at all because it has five lines. You earned a five star rating. good work.
Wanderlost

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012

    Sorry my poem ' Life ' was not for you
reply by wanderlost on 22-Nov-2012
    Let me clarify: I like your poem, I like the message and I like your rhyme schemes (abac, dedf...) in your quatrains. My only issue is some flow problems involving meter. for example when you write "Just like that star in the sky," it breaks the flow of your poem, because it has more syllables than the rest of your lines by a significant margin. Lines like that break my focus on the poem, but otherwise it is beautifully written, and worthy of a five star rating.
    Always your friend, Wanderlost
Comment from expressions9
Excellent
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Your poem is very interesting Parisjean, describing many aspects of life. I like the way it develops from life being a subject, a mirror, a mystery, like a wave, etc to you stating that is MORE than just a subject (in your 6th stanza).

There is good encouragement in your poem to be thoughtful of the life we live now as we all have an eternity to think about. (The photo is beautiful!)

 Comment Written 22-Nov-2012


reply by the author on 22-Nov-2012
    Thank you Expressions9, so glad you ' Life ' had an encouraging meaning for you