Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The Road"My thoughts about t
8 total reviews
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hello Treischel. I just read your poem and thanks for sharing part of your legacy which as you mention in your notes remains true. How we are gripped with this dark power and I must say this dark power has a name and its called "Uncertainty." In your ending, the uncertain road seems to serve as yet another door. Which road or door to take.
I was confused with part of your poem about walking in comforting solitude and then something stripping you of knowledge. (I wish we could have elaborated more on this) before Mother Earth comes into the picture.
Good effort on your image and good luck.
I hope my input helps. Always looking forward for your response.
Cheers.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Hello Treischel. I just read your poem and thanks for sharing part of your legacy which as you mention in your notes remains true. How we are gripped with this dark power and I must say this dark power has a name and its called "Uncertainty." In your ending, the uncertain road seems to serve as yet another door. Which road or door to take.
I was confused with part of your poem about walking in comforting solitude and then something stripping you of knowledge. (I wish we could have elaborated more on this) before Mother Earth comes into the picture.
Good effort on your image and good luck.
I hope my input helps. Always looking forward for your response.
Cheers.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thank you for this wonderful review. That verse is about being afraid of the dark which is also a metaphor the unknown. Getting out in Nature gives me peace in the solitude. Hope that helps. I appreciate you input.
Comment from prayingpoet
Nicely done. You did a great job providing a muddy view of todays world not just with the economy, but with our world view as a nation. Powerful and well written.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Nicely done. You did a great job providing a muddy view of todays world not just with the economy, but with our world view as a nation. Powerful and well written.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thank you for you review.
Comment from Norbanus
We see the blurry road to foggy bends
And pluck our memories where they fit the scene
Then ponder that our own road ends
The place obscured through lack of means.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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We see the blurry road to foggy bends
And pluck our memories where they fit the scene
Then ponder that our own road ends
The place obscured through lack of means.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Right on! cool to get a poetic review. Thanks.
Comment from Eric Corsten
this is a real dark and personal poem..I like the ending ////"
I walk
In the firmness of my youth.
I climbed a hill,
As the first rays of Dawn
Showed themselves above the Horizon.
And I looked out to see
What the furure holds.
I saw before me
A road,
A dark, uncertain road.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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this is a real dark and personal poem..I like the ending ////"
I walk
In the firmness of my youth.
I climbed a hill,
As the first rays of Dawn
Showed themselves above the Horizon.
And I looked out to see
What the furure holds.
I saw before me
A road,
A dark, uncertain road.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2012
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Thank you for the review. glad you liked it.
Comment from candy floss
WOW!!!!! OMG!!!! Your poem was the best I have reviewed today I could see the picture you are painting and I love your style of writing you are an extravagant writer... Never stop writing or your talent will be wasted.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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WOW!!!!! OMG!!!! Your poem was the best I have reviewed today I could see the picture you are painting and I love your style of writing you are an extravagant writer... Never stop writing or your talent will be wasted.
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Wow! Thank you for the complement and encouragement.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
A good work deep in imagery throughout the whole stanzas. But I like the first stage so well because it sets the pace for a good work.Good thought, good delivery.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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A good work deep in imagery throughout the whole stanzas. But I like the first stage so well because it sets the pace for a good work.Good thought, good delivery.
ola thomas
Comment Written 09-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2012
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Thanks you for your incite Ola. I really appreciate it.
Comment from more2write
I can feel the emotion behind this. And, after reading your author notes I can envision the teenager with an uncertain future looming ahead. It resonates on many levels and for every age. There is one little area that I'd like to point out. "In an agony I looked up." Agony is a feeling and since there are not more than one, it does not need "an"
in front of it. It would read stronger if that was omitted. I wish you all the best in your contest. More2write
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2012
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I can feel the emotion behind this. And, after reading your author notes I can envision the teenager with an uncertain future looming ahead. It resonates on many levels and for every age. There is one little area that I'd like to point out. "In an agony I looked up." Agony is a feeling and since there are not more than one, it does not need "an"
in front of it. It would read stronger if that was omitted. I wish you all the best in your contest. More2write
Comment Written 08-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your review. Good point. I agree with you on the point. I'll make that change in the future. Tom.
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Thank you for your review. Good point. I agree with you on the point. I'll make that change in the future. Tom.
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Thank you for the nomination for the reviewers contest. I'm glad that you were receptive to a little critique and not offended. It even better to know that taking the time to do so is appreciated. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. more2write
Comment from lakeport
The Road of darkness, That's a very heartfelt expressed story poem, nice flow, I enjoyed reading it, God bless you.Lakeport.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2012
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The Road of darkness, That's a very heartfelt expressed story poem, nice flow, I enjoyed reading it, God bless you.Lakeport.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2012
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Thank you for your review and God bless you too.
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your welcome,
Clould you please review my poem "Total Blackout" Thank you. lakeport.
