Comment from Bill Schott

Excellent

This story, When You Least Expect It, is terrific and even after a decade is something one might hear about on the news tomorrow. Great job with this, Beth.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022

Thank you Bill. I'm glad you like it. I appreciate your comments.
Beth

Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Nice story. Well written. I don't know about commending Michael for breaking the window, though. It certainly confirmed his decision to disobey. At best, I would have left that part of the situation be.
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022

Thank you for the review and comments. I was thinking the breaking of the window was a lucky accident, because he didn't deliberately break it. I'll check back to see if I'd warned him. If so, I need to leave that out. The contest is over. This was a reactivated post.
Beth

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

I enjoy your real life stories every day, and now I'll be patiently waiting to read more of your fiction. Those make believe stories that can go in endless directions. LOL. Thanks for sharing. I wish I had a six.

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022

Thank you Ric. I need to try to write more fiction. I've been taking the lazy way out without having to use my imagination by writing what actually happened. LOL
Beth

reply by Ric Myworld on 07-Sep-2022

You should. You do it so well!

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very well written mystery and crime fiction you have penned about the locked room. You used great descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose. Best wishes in the contest! I enjoyed reading this. love and blessings, teri

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022

Thank you Teri. The picture was one of took of a cabin my cousin owned in a very remote location. She and I spent some time there, and it was scary at night because her motion lights would come on through the night. We didn't know if it was an intruder or an animal.
The contest was over years ago. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

You did a great job with this scary story, Beth. Your words
created great imagery of the surroundings and the reason
for being at the cabin in the first place. Those tow in the
green truck wee up to no good. I'm so glad the characters
in the story had a head start on getting outta there. I was
engaged from start to finish. I understand why this story
was a winner.
Thanks for reposting, Jan

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2022

Thank you Jan, I glad you liked my story. I need to try to write more fiction. I seem to be locked into non-fiction these days.
Beth

Comment from royowen

Excellent

You don't write fiction very often, but this great little story, shows you have a bright and fertile mind and imagination Beth. When I think of it, in fact we have had things going on in our country, they are not beyond the realms of possibility, well done, Beth, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022

Thank you Roy, I don't write fiction often, but I used to write it occasionally. I think I should try using my imagination more than just putting down what actually happened. Maybe that is the lazy way of writing.
Beth

reply by royowen on 06-Sep-2022

I'm not good at fiction,

Comment from Judy Lawless

Excellent

This caught my attention, Beth! The whole thing was a bit odd from the beginning, the family obviously too anxious to find a vacation rental. You did a great job of using the "locked room" and creating a very surprising ending. Well done. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022

Thanks Judy. The odd part is about only part that isn't fiction for my family because we always decided at the last minute when when everyone can get away for a family vacation, and it was usually too late to find an decent available rental. I can see my family doing that. This cabin is one I stayed in a couple of weeks with a cousin who owned it for a while. It was in a very remote area of North Carolina with no other cabins nearby. Too ladies alone at night turned out to be a bid unnerving. The contest was over years ago. It is repost. I appreciate the review.
Beth

reply by Judy Lawless on 06-Sep-2022

You are most welcome, Beth. I thought maybe when you repost something it could be in another contest. :)

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

You are so right, Beth. This was a well written very engaging story and I enjoyed it very much. That would have been a very dangerous situation and that's a fact. The entire family would have been murdered more than likely. In the real world that is. Well done. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 06-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022

Thank you Nancy, I'm so glad you enjoyed the story. The cabin in the picture was one in the North Carolina mountains that I spent a week in with my cousin. It was very remote an she and I were nervous about being their alone.
Beth

Comment from damommy

Excellent

Riveting story! It kept me on the edge of my seat. Thank goodness, they discovered that and left before those bad guys came back. They would have been killed for sure! Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022

Thank you so much for the review. Most everything I written these lately is non-fiction. I used to write more fiction so I decided to pull out one of my older stories. I'm pleased you found it riveting.
Beth

Comment from Elizabeth Emerald

Excellent

Gripping piece--I'm guessing the inspiration was the close call you had with the escaped convicts at the rest stop (?) who went on to kill another family. Brilliant story!

 Comment Written 05-Sep-2022

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reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022

Thank Elizabeth. I don't remember having a had a particular inspiration unless it was something going on the news at the time. The cabin in the picture was one I stayed in with my cousin. It was very remote and we were scared at night. She had a light the lit up everything when something came near at night. It was likely deer or other animals, but it always freaked us out when everything lit up.