Poetry, Dreams In Motion.
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Maybe..."A collection of poetry.
6 total reviews
Comment from Nescher Pyscher
Hmm.
Reads like a 'I need to break-up with you, but I want to stay friends so I don't totally demolish your feelings' poem.
I'm seeing that's NOT the premise, it's more about 'you want me, but I don't want you right now', but the similarities are unmistakable.
Good poem, though.
:0)
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2007
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Hmm.
Reads like a 'I need to break-up with you, but I want to stay friends so I don't totally demolish your feelings' poem.
I'm seeing that's NOT the premise, it's more about 'you want me, but I don't want you right now', but the similarities are unmistakable.
Good poem, though.
:0)
Comment Written 10-Sep-2006
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2007
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Hey Nescher! Sorry it took me so long to respond..., I've been away for a while. As always, I am glad to have you stop by and take a peek at my work. Thank you for taking the time to review and place those little stars :-)
Comment from mheflin
this made me feel like something I wrote I felt every touch of it. this is nice and I enjoyed reading it. There is nothing else I need to say but keep up the good work and keep writing.
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this made me feel like something I wrote I felt every touch of it. this is nice and I enjoyed reading it. There is nothing else I need to say but keep up the good work and keep writing.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2005
Comment from Mrs Jones
I think your verse is great, but it needs some work. Try breaking up into stanzas and also counting the syllables for a beat. Also the wording can be improved in parts.
Please PM me if you revise as I would like to see it again. The rhyming is good.
Good work
Rose
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I think your verse is great, but it needs some work. Try breaking up into stanzas and also counting the syllables for a beat. Also the wording can be improved in parts.
Please PM me if you revise as I would like to see it again. The rhyming is good.
Good work
Rose
Comment Written 24-Mar-2005
Comment from Muzzy
Beautifully written. Your vivid description of honesty is explicit. Too bad that everyone can't express their true feelings to another like this.
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Beautifully written. Your vivid description of honesty is explicit. Too bad that everyone can't express their true feelings to another like this.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2005
Comment from Zenbud
Very nice tempo . . . love poems always get to me. Though this is a scorned love, it is a love poem nonetheless. I can see the person's face falling as you speak.
You used a nice set of imagery and lyric. I enjoyed it in the genre it was intended.
Zen
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Very nice tempo . . . love poems always get to me. Though this is a scorned love, it is a love poem nonetheless. I can see the person's face falling as you speak.
You used a nice set of imagery and lyric. I enjoyed it in the genre it was intended.
Zen
Comment Written 24-Mar-2005
Comment from amysfind
Very pretty poem. It flowed well from one thought or image to the next. I especially liked the last few lines:
"For now I need to feel the breeze;
To gently touch the sky.
I need the chance to live my dreams,
Spread my wings and fly. "
Very heartfelt and sad poem.
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Very pretty poem. It flowed well from one thought or image to the next. I especially liked the last few lines:
"For now I need to feel the breeze;
To gently touch the sky.
I need the chance to live my dreams,
Spread my wings and fly. "
Very heartfelt and sad poem.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2005