Smiling Anyway
orphans who still smile15 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
So much here, in so few words. I know what you are saying is true. I've seen it myself and marveled at the Indominatible human spirit. if ever a poem captured an ocean of beauty in a raindrop, this would be it. I love it.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
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So much here, in so few words. I know what you are saying is true. I've seen it myself and marveled at the Indominatible human spirit. if ever a poem captured an ocean of beauty in a raindrop, this would be it. I love it.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2012
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One of the many nice things about your reviews, Adonna, is that you always make me feel good about what I write. Thank you for that! I do truly appreciate your reviews and your friendship.
Connie
Comment from whizpurr ^-^
Hi Writer,
Your well written essence poem is powerful and impactful. You did an excellent job writing it and managed to send a message to many. What sweet little children! The photo compliments the poem. Best wishes for the contest. Warm regards, W ^-^
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Hi Writer,
Your well written essence poem is powerful and impactful. You did an excellent job writing it and managed to send a message to many. What sweet little children! The photo compliments the poem. Best wishes for the contest. Warm regards, W ^-^
Comment Written 29-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much for your review and good luck wishes.
Connie
Comment from Glasstruth
Very cheerful poem. It shows that you don't have to feel sorry for yourself just because you're poor. That attitude will only keep a person down. Love the flow and the rhyming in this. Great job! Les
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Very cheerful poem. It shows that you don't have to feel sorry for yourself just because you're poor. That attitude will only keep a person down. Love the flow and the rhyming in this. Great job! Les
Comment Written 29-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, Les, for your review. I truly appreciate it. :>)
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Thank you so much, Les, for your review. I truly appreciate it. :>)
Comment from donaldww
This is a cute 'essence' poem about orphans. It has an upbeat quality when it says: some still smile/so hopeful all the while.
Good luck with the contest!
DW
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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This is a cute 'essence' poem about orphans. It has an upbeat quality when it says: some still smile/so hopeful all the while.
Good luck with the contest!
DW
Comment Written 29-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much for your review and good luck wishes.
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Thank you so much for your review and good luck wishes.
Comment from missy98writer
Poet,
Your poem is extremely well written painted by your two lines:
Though orphans, some still smile
So hopeful all the while
The art work you used is priceless.
Your external rhyme is very good.
But for this to be an essence you need internal rhyme between and you don't. I won't down grade, but fix.
Might I suggest:
Though orphans, some still smile
Hope comes all the while
You used great alliteration with the S words.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Missy.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Poet,
Your poem is extremely well written painted by your two lines:
Though orphans, some still smile
So hopeful all the while
The art work you used is priceless.
Your external rhyme is very good.
But for this to be an essence you need internal rhyme between and you don't. I won't down grade, but fix.
Might I suggest:
Though orphans, some still smile
Hope comes all the while
You used great alliteration with the S words.
I wish you good luck in the contest.
Missy.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Missy, for your very thorough and encouraging review. And thank you for not downgrading the rating because of lack of internal rhyme. I had thought that "though" and "so" (the first words in each line) rhymed, but perhaps I'm mistaken. Thank you again.
Comment from RJ
The words flow well with the picture you chose. We can all use the belief they have in life. The internal rhyme did not feel as good to me as the ending rhyme. Good luck in the contest. RJ
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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The words flow well with the picture you chose. We can all use the belief they have in life. The internal rhyme did not feel as good to me as the ending rhyme. Good luck in the contest. RJ
Comment Written 29-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much for your review.
Comment from martianpress
Though this poem does have a poignant sentiment, it does not really fulfill the design of the contest for it lacks and internal rhyme, a rhyme within the same line.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Though this poem does have a poignant sentiment, it does not really fulfill the design of the contest for it lacks and internal rhyme, a rhyme within the same line.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Thank you for your review. The internal rhyme is "though" and "so," the very first words of each line.
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I understanding, verified by research, is that an internal rhyme is not achieved by the two words beginning each sentence rhyming, but I might be mistaken...http://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples/examples-of-internal-rhyme.html
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Thank you for enlightening me. The good thing about FanStory is that we learn from each other. I'm not sure how many people are aware of this. In fact, I think I might have even won one of these essence poems contests a few years ago with the first words of each line rhyming. Thanks again for your help.
Comment from speakup
Yes they are, in some places in the world, all people have is hope,so let them smile if only for a while. You have the future in you're hands there, Ron
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Yes they are, in some places in the world, all people have is hope,so let them smile if only for a while. You have the future in you're hands there, Ron
Comment Written 29-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, Ron, for your review.
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in good essence poem form with six syllable lines, a good internal rhyme of though and so and good end-line rhymes of smile and while :-)
I also love the spirit of the poem and the pairing with the photo :-) brooke
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Your poem is in good essence poem form with six syllable lines, a good internal rhyme of though and so and good end-line rhymes of smile and while :-)
I also love the spirit of the poem and the pairing with the photo :-) brooke
Comment Written 28-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, Brooke, for your review.
Comment from rgabel
Excellent. Fit the prompt and rules perfectly. Evokes a picture of hope. Love the smiling faces in the picture. It is the perfect caption for it. Wonderful job.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2012
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Excellent. Fit the prompt and rules perfectly. Evokes a picture of hope. Love the smiling faces in the picture. It is the perfect caption for it. Wonderful job.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much for your review. :>)
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Thank you so much for your review. :>)
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Thank you so much for your review. :>)
