It's time for Heaven
A person dies by natural causes6 total reviews
Comment from Curly Girly
This is a lovely poem. It has great meaning. You wrote:
The angels call me up 6
I feel my breath slip away 7
I'm finally free 5
The criteria is 5-7-5
I suggest that you drop the word 'the' at the beginning of your first line.
CG
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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This is a lovely poem. It has great meaning. You wrote:
The angels call me up 6
I feel my breath slip away 7
I'm finally free 5
The criteria is 5-7-5
I suggest that you drop the word 'the' at the beginning of your first line.
CG
Comment Written 20-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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Thanks you really saved me there!
Comment from MsRealness007
Is this the whole poem? I would've liked to have seen/read more. It sounds like you have a lot to say. What was your motivation for choosing to make this poem this length? But from what I read, you sound like you're off to a good start...just maybe give us more.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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Is this the whole poem? I would've liked to have seen/read more. It sounds like you have a lot to say. What was your motivation for choosing to make this poem this length? But from what I read, you sound like you're off to a good start...just maybe give us more.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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I was doing a Haiku it, was very hard to make it short, so I did my best. Thanks!
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You're welcome. Please forgive me, I'm still learning different types & styles of poetry....I would like to read more of your work. You sound like you have a lot to say...best wishes :)
Comment from riaeliza
A very well written and thought out 5-7-5 poem. Should we all be so blessed as to have such an experience. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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A very well written and thought out 5-7-5 poem. Should we all be so blessed as to have such an experience. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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Thanks so much you don't knoww how much that means!
Comment from Bungle Boy
I found this left me thinking quite a lot and I praise the power of your carefully chosen words. I am always very impressed by people that can make you think so much with so few words. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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I found this left me thinking quite a lot and I praise the power of your carefully chosen words. I am always very impressed by people that can make you think so much with so few words. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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Thank you, this is the first of many more to come!
Comment from Heaven Bound
What a beautiful way to describe that moment of passing from earth to heaven. So much meaning in the "I'm finally free" phrase. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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What a beautiful way to describe that moment of passing from earth to heaven. So much meaning in the "I'm finally free" phrase. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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Thank you!!
Comment from terry drake
5-7-5 syllable count verse format challenge successfully accomplished with your three line poem. Congratulations on your poem and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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5-7-5 syllable count verse format challenge successfully accomplished with your three line poem. Congratulations on your poem and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2012
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Thank you!!!