No Such Luck
Revision of an earlier poem145 total reviews
Comment from I.L. Walton
There is potential here - the thought you conjure of a culture's 'insidious imagination' is great, very potent.
For me, however, the decision to arbitrarily put full stops at the end of nearly every line was a huge mistake, ruining any chance of flow or connected thought - not to even mention the grammar. I'm sorry if it was a deliberate stylistic decision, but it just didn't make any sense. For instance, there is no reason for 'If you believe in luck. Then I feel sorry for you' not to be 'If you believe in luck then I feel sorry for you', whilst the line 'Ladders and black cats are too stagnant to be a bore' seems to be self-contradictory - surely if they are stagnant and not worth worrying about then they ARE in fact a bore?
Anyway this poem seems to have done very well having been recognized and all-time-bested so I hope that my review is not damaging, and can be helpful to you :) x
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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There is potential here - the thought you conjure of a culture's 'insidious imagination' is great, very potent.
For me, however, the decision to arbitrarily put full stops at the end of nearly every line was a huge mistake, ruining any chance of flow or connected thought - not to even mention the grammar. I'm sorry if it was a deliberate stylistic decision, but it just didn't make any sense. For instance, there is no reason for 'If you believe in luck. Then I feel sorry for you' not to be 'If you believe in luck then I feel sorry for you', whilst the line 'Ladders and black cats are too stagnant to be a bore' seems to be self-contradictory - surely if they are stagnant and not worth worrying about then they ARE in fact a bore?
Anyway this poem seems to have done very well having been recognized and all-time-bested so I hope that my review is not damaging, and can be helpful to you :) x
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Thank you for your honesty walton.
Comment from Meena Jawahrani
Your words make me smile . My grandmother would have taken you to task for dismissing such rituals and lucky mascots.
Loved your connect to almighty and his abundance.
Congrats for the reorganization received.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Your words make me smile . My grandmother would have taken you to task for dismissing such rituals and lucky mascots.
Loved your connect to almighty and his abundance.
Congrats for the reorganization received.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Thank you Meena.
Comment from justatuna
Enjoyed this poem very much. Well written and flowed very well. Enjoyed and agreed with alot of your message. Perhaps all. To see the flowers and animals and not think there's something behind that is rather silly. Well done.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Enjoyed this poem very much. Well written and flowed very well. Enjoyed and agreed with alot of your message. Perhaps all. To see the flowers and animals and not think there's something behind that is rather silly. Well done.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Thank you Just.
Comment from Dawn Munro
This poem delivers a message that some may consider trite, but in actual fact, it is vitally important! How many ways have people spoiled events in their own lives or the lives of others because of silly superstitions? And that's just present day - take a look at history - Salem, for instance. Good job!
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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This poem delivers a message that some may consider trite, but in actual fact, it is vitally important! How many ways have people spoiled events in their own lives or the lives of others because of silly superstitions? And that's just present day - take a look at history - Salem, for instance. Good job!
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Thank you Dawn.
Comment from juliedickson55
I actually like the rituals and ancient beliefs.
Since Christianity's roots are in pagan religion, when Constantine adopted christianity as his new faith; they adopted the winter solstice [Christmas], Sol [Sunday] and many other traditions that people today accept as modern. Many traditions were adapted from paganism, druidism.
As always, I believe that people's faith should be individual. I won't tell you what to believe, and please do not try to change my beliefs. Most of the wars in history were based on land/power/religion. Let people believe what they will.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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I actually like the rituals and ancient beliefs.
Since Christianity's roots are in pagan religion, when Constantine adopted christianity as his new faith; they adopted the winter solstice [Christmas], Sol [Sunday] and many other traditions that people today accept as modern. Many traditions were adapted from paganism, druidism.
As always, I believe that people's faith should be individual. I won't tell you what to believe, and please do not try to change my beliefs. Most of the wars in history were based on land/power/religion. Let people believe what they will.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the information Dickinson. And for the review.
Comment from dmt1967
I think you are right I am not really superstitious except I don't walk under ladders because something might fall on me but that is practical and a rabbits foot well it wasn't very lucky for the rabbit lol thank you for sharing loved the poem
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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I think you are right I am not really superstitious except I don't walk under ladders because something might fall on me but that is practical and a rabbits foot well it wasn't very lucky for the rabbit lol thank you for sharing loved the poem
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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No it wouldn't be lucky for the rabbit at all. Thank you Dmt.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Justin ...
Of course, you know that I am smiling now, having read your thoughts about the many old superstitions that abound in this world. I fully agree that we should give our love and trust to God, regardless of what happens.
Being of Irish and English parentage, I was brought up with there being a superstition for so many things that happened in life. It would be interesting to have a Contest in which writers are invited to include as many such superstitions as possible in poetic form.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Hullo Justin ...
Of course, you know that I am smiling now, having read your thoughts about the many old superstitions that abound in this world. I fully agree that we should give our love and trust to God, regardless of what happens.
Being of Irish and English parentage, I was brought up with there being a superstition for so many things that happened in life. It would be interesting to have a Contest in which writers are invited to include as many such superstitions as possible in poetic form.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Thank you Mary.
Comment from ScarletClearwater
This read like prose, but in a rhymed way. I really liked it. Good points you have here. But calling people fools can be offensive. Great job either way.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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This read like prose, but in a rhymed way. I really liked it. Good points you have here. But calling people fools can be offensive. Great job either way.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Thank you Scarlet.
Comment from oozer
aw c'mon Justin D'ya mayn to be tellin' us it be unlucky to be superstitious? Shure if there's no such thing as ill luck... then whar's the harm in not walkin' under ladders!
Is that Chopin name o' your pronounced as 'Shopa' like yon wizard music fella?
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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aw c'mon Justin D'ya mayn to be tellin' us it be unlucky to be superstitious? Shure if there's no such thing as ill luck... then whar's the harm in not walkin' under ladders!
Is that Chopin name o' your pronounced as 'Shopa' like yon wizard music fella?
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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No just not to base your life on superstitions. Thanks oozer . Yes it is pronounced Showpan.
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Thanks for reply!
is that name Polish?
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it's either Polish or French.
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Thanking you, my friend
Comment from Ekim777
Justin, you have written a nifty list of interpretations of luck, good or bad. I say luck and the laws of accident are two sides of the same coin. Now I am going to outrage you. Maybe your conception of Christ is a superstition created by us mortals right down here on earth. I know there is plenty of literature to the contrary. How is faith different to optimistic hope and with hope we either strike it lucky or not. I'm not trying to addle your mind. Again I say a belief in luck and a disbelief in the laws of accident, when things just happen to us, might be the same thing. What is our alternative? It surely is our greatest strength, that is our awareness of realities; our lucid, supreme awareness of everything. Then we move away from the laws of accident and luck to the lesser laws of our fate. God did make us responsible for our own salvation. Why do we turn to him for help. Good to hear from you again. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Justin, you have written a nifty list of interpretations of luck, good or bad. I say luck and the laws of accident are two sides of the same coin. Now I am going to outrage you. Maybe your conception of Christ is a superstition created by us mortals right down here on earth. I know there is plenty of literature to the contrary. How is faith different to optimistic hope and with hope we either strike it lucky or not. I'm not trying to addle your mind. Again I say a belief in luck and a disbelief in the laws of accident, when things just happen to us, might be the same thing. What is our alternative? It surely is our greatest strength, that is our awareness of realities; our lucid, supreme awareness of everything. Then we move away from the laws of accident and luck to the lesser laws of our fate. God did make us responsible for our own salvation. Why do we turn to him for help. Good to hear from you again. -Ekim777
Comment Written 31-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2012
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Thank you for your insights Ekim.
