Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

What a fun story that turns out to be the plot of Sam's newest novel :-)
You stay within the contest's strict word limits well and incorporate the required words well :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 05-Aug-2012

Thank you Brooke, These flash fictions are kind of fun--and you don't have to rhyme! Feels a bit like cheating ;)

Comment from Hollyhock

Excellent

Very neat and sharp.
Good pace, realistic telephone conversation and nice twist in the plot.
The first sentence really grabs the reader and the plot unfolds quickly. Neat ending suitably presaged by the "sweat rolling down his face", which originally indicated his level of murderous stress!
Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 03-Aug-2012

Thank you for reading and reviewing my words. I don't often try anything but poetry so this was a fun change of pace. I also appreciate the stars and your assessment of the form.

Comment from ScarletClearwater

Excellent

I thought this was about real life, so I loved that it was really about a script. Nice work with the twist. Good and engaging read.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2012

---

reply by the author on 03-Aug-2012

Thank you for reading and reviewing my words. I don't often try anything but poetry so this was a fun change of pace. I also appreciate the stars and your assessment of the form.