The Eden Tree
Viewing comments for Chapter 53 "The Sequel: Return to Eden"A family's need of a miracle is in a Box
4 total reviews
Comment from mshirachot
It's been years since I watched British humor...in the form of Monty Python in my younger and more rowdy time of life. Since then, I've toned things down a bit, do not watch the "Tele" at all, unless it is movies acquired at the library; which can be stopped mid-stream if I become uncomfortable with the scenery or language. I guess one could say I am becoming prudish as I grow older. Some of your humor, though not offensive, does give me cause to blush. Just thought, I'd share.
Thanks for sharing yet another chapter!
Be blessed!
Marsha
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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It's been years since I watched British humor...in the form of Monty Python in my younger and more rowdy time of life. Since then, I've toned things down a bit, do not watch the "Tele" at all, unless it is movies acquired at the library; which can be stopped mid-stream if I become uncomfortable with the scenery or language. I guess one could say I am becoming prudish as I grow older. Some of your humor, though not offensive, does give me cause to blush. Just thought, I'd share.
Thanks for sharing yet another chapter!
Be blessed!
Marsha
Comment Written 30-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Thanks for your review. I am sorry if some of my humour gives embarassment. I appreciate you being honest.
Comment from bowls
Good background explanation here. Generally a happy chapter that can be enjoyed by the reader. All your characters seem to be taken care of and are accepted by everyone else. I'm wondering if things will wind down now. In the second last paragraph James' friends is missing an apostrophe.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Good background explanation here. Generally a happy chapter that can be enjoyed by the reader. All your characters seem to be taken care of and are accepted by everyone else. I'm wondering if things will wind down now. In the second last paragraph James' friends is missing an apostrophe.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Thank you for your comment, and help with the grammar.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Another very sweet chapter - these folk are starting to feel like family! Only one thing I would change (if you agree) and that is that they either 'applauded' Colleen or they clapped 'for' her. Otherwise, it's perfect, in my humble opinion! While I love good descriptive, even more I like to see words with impact strung together to make simple, elegant sense and sometimes the easiest way to do that is to be ruthless - it looks like you have done that with these last two chapters. I hesitate to mention this book, because I read it many, many years ago and I'm darned if I can recall the author, but it's one of the best books ever written in my opinion, on how to write! It's just a wee book, very thin but packed with information about how to cut until what you have left is your very best writing; it's called "The Elements of Style". Great couple of chapters!
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Another very sweet chapter - these folk are starting to feel like family! Only one thing I would change (if you agree) and that is that they either 'applauded' Colleen or they clapped 'for' her. Otherwise, it's perfect, in my humble opinion! While I love good descriptive, even more I like to see words with impact strung together to make simple, elegant sense and sometimes the easiest way to do that is to be ruthless - it looks like you have done that with these last two chapters. I hesitate to mention this book, because I read it many, many years ago and I'm darned if I can recall the author, but it's one of the best books ever written in my opinion, on how to write! It's just a wee book, very thin but packed with information about how to cut until what you have left is your very best writing; it's called "The Elements of Style". Great couple of chapters!
Comment Written 30-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Thank you..."applauded" it is! I have bought several books, recommended, about fiction writing, and plan to read them in august during my hols. Your suggested book, I will get hold of.
Comment from unimatrix001
Good continuation to an already great story.
A fex comments:
"By coach from Cork to Dublin, ferry from Dublin to Holyhead and coach to Manchester she had caught a train to Goostry and walked from the station." - This is not a proper sentence. If you put "She had caught..." in the begining of the sentence, then it will work.
"The audience were hooting" - was, not were
"Joining the party again the guests once again clapped Colleen." - This is not a proper sentence.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Good continuation to an already great story.
A fex comments:
"By coach from Cork to Dublin, ferry from Dublin to Holyhead and coach to Manchester she had caught a train to Goostry and walked from the station." - This is not a proper sentence. If you put "She had caught..." in the begining of the sentence, then it will work.
"The audience were hooting" - was, not were
"Joining the party again the guests once again clapped Colleen." - This is not a proper sentence.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2012
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Thank you for your kind review and very helpful comments. I really appreciate reviews that point out ways that I can improve the writing, and your perceptive changes have done that!