The Eden Tree
Viewing comments for Chapter 68 "Sean Proposes"A family's need of a miracle is in a Box
2 total reviews
Comment from Gideon Roth
Good Afternoon. Another great job and fine addition to this story. You have this progressing quite nicely. I only noticed one place that you may wish to take a look at in the possibility it needs a comma. I have placed it below for your consideration. Keep up the great writing and I look forward to your next post...Tim
Our Jewish friend, Joseph, had a friend who was on the Board of the Manchester Evening News(,) which owned the Gazette. It seems to need a comma here but I defer to your judgment in this well written piece.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2012
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Good Afternoon. Another great job and fine addition to this story. You have this progressing quite nicely. I only noticed one place that you may wish to take a look at in the possibility it needs a comma. I have placed it below for your consideration. Keep up the great writing and I look forward to your next post...Tim
Our Jewish friend, Joseph, had a friend who was on the Board of the Manchester Evening News(,) which owned the Gazette. It seems to need a comma here but I defer to your judgment in this well written piece.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2012
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Thanks for your review, and I have amended as you suggested. I appreciate your advice and encouragement.
Comment from bowls
You've done a great deal in this short chapter. We get yet more insight into the character of your narrator. He is a good man, yet human. You've supplied some very interesting, and for me, at least, little known information about the flag of Mann. You've also opened up a whole new aspect of the plot the reader can think about:will the fund-raising be a success? You've also managed to tie this event in with the intrigue of earlier chapters by mentioning the newspaper which reported the story. The reader certainly has no chance to be bored; you always have something new to treat him to.
In the very last sentence of the second paragraph I wonder if you meant to write "eyes always exhibited", leaving out the "were".
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2012
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You've done a great deal in this short chapter. We get yet more insight into the character of your narrator. He is a good man, yet human. You've supplied some very interesting, and for me, at least, little known information about the flag of Mann. You've also opened up a whole new aspect of the plot the reader can think about:will the fund-raising be a success? You've also managed to tie this event in with the intrigue of earlier chapters by mentioning the newspaper which reported the story. The reader certainly has no chance to be bored; you always have something new to treat him to.
In the very last sentence of the second paragraph I wonder if you meant to write "eyes always exhibited", leaving out the "were".
Comment Written 18-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2012
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Thank you once again for your dedicated reviewing of my novel. I am grateful for your corrections.