The Eden Tree
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Interview of a young thug"A family's need of a miracle is in a Box
4 total reviews
Comment from LucyB
I have a lot to catch up on so I will be doing a lot of reading this afternoon. The line "as the sands of time slowly steeped into the hourglass of our Thursday morning " is tremendous! This is just very well written and I am enjoying the ride!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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I have a lot to catch up on so I will be doing a lot of reading this afternoon. The line "as the sands of time slowly steeped into the hourglass of our Thursday morning " is tremendous! This is just very well written and I am enjoying the ride!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2012
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Wow! Your words encourge me a great deal.
Comment from bowls
Good idea, having him copy the scrolls. This gives you some leeway should you decide there is to be a robbery. In paragraph three you should add an apostrophe for James' backpack. Now this might be just a difference in language usage between our two countries, so please ignore this suggestion if it doesn't sound right to you. Normally when we use the past tense "Joseph suggested, the word "might" would be used instead of "may" in order to maintain the proper sequence of tenses. Joseph's help adds another positive turn to this chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2012
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Good idea, having him copy the scrolls. This gives you some leeway should you decide there is to be a robbery. In paragraph three you should add an apostrophe for James' backpack. Now this might be just a difference in language usage between our two countries, so please ignore this suggestion if it doesn't sound right to you. Normally when we use the past tense "Joseph suggested, the word "might" would be used instead of "may" in order to maintain the proper sequence of tenses. Joseph's help adds another positive turn to this chapter.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2012
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Thank you for your encouragement, which is much appreciated. I am not sure about the mays and mights, I will look again.
Comment from monteranderson
I enjoyed the story; it kept my interest. You say they ate cereal, oatmeal, hash browns, steak, pancakes, and toast for breakfast. Seems like a lot of food and a lot of bread (flour). About one third of the way down, the word fiance has a misplaced character in it. Not far below that there is a paragraph break inserted in mid-sentence after "gobsmacked that..." Three paragraphs later where you start with "Joseph suggested.." There are extra returns inserted into the paragraph. You wrote "the sands of time slowly seeped into the hourglass..." That is a bit too much. Looks like a Freshman history paper that was short enough words.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2012
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I enjoyed the story; it kept my interest. You say they ate cereal, oatmeal, hash browns, steak, pancakes, and toast for breakfast. Seems like a lot of food and a lot of bread (flour). About one third of the way down, the word fiance has a misplaced character in it. Not far below that there is a paragraph break inserted in mid-sentence after "gobsmacked that..." Three paragraphs later where you start with "Joseph suggested.." There are extra returns inserted into the paragraph. You wrote "the sands of time slowly seeped into the hourglass..." That is a bit too much. Looks like a Freshman history paper that was short enough words.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2012
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Thanks for your review and advice.
Comment from TammyGail
excellent work once again vigournet
your chapters are short and always
interesting and great closing as well
thanks for sharing always a pleasure
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2012
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excellent work once again vigournet
your chapters are short and always
interesting and great closing as well
thanks for sharing always a pleasure
Comment Written 06-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2012
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Thank you for your kind words. I am glad that you are sticking with me!