Reviews from

The Heir Apparent

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Mom drops a Bombshell"
A family learns their father is a serial killer

15 total reviews 
Comment from Halfree
Excellent
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Not much movement in this chapter; a little too short. However, well told...well written. Maybe Mom will become more in control of her life, interesting possibility. Glad to see the story unfold...hopr you are "up-to-snuff."

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 05-Jul-2012
    When I do the final edit I will probably break up the long chapters and combine the short ones.
Comment from RebelRose
Excellent
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All of this chapter seems just as I remember it. Did you make any changes to this one? If so, I didn't catch them. Nevertheless, another great chapter.

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 04-Jul-2012
    Actually I rewrote it and eliminated a lot of unnecessary stuff...I like that word, stuff.
Comment from rtobaygo
Excellent
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EXCELLENT INTERACTION BETWEEN CHARACTERS. WELL-WRITTEN WITH A SHOCKER PLACED INTO YOUR STORY THAT MAY VERY WELL CAUSE DISSENSION AMONG YOUR PROTAGONIST.


Mom's choice of words caught me off guard. The quiet, soft spoken mother I previously knew had changed considerably in the span of a single week. SPACING
Making a point of not hiding the sarcasm in my voice, I asked, "Do you honestly think telling the public you are for or against the death penalty is going to win any fans?"


TAKE CARE,

RAY

 Comment Written 04-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 04-Jul-2012
    There is a hidden side of Mom, just fighting to get out. It comes and it goes throughout the book. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Excellent
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What courage his mother is
showing now, and such
compassion for the families
of the murdered girls.

This is a perfectly presented chapter, Sasha.

Margaret

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2012
    Thank you very much.
Comment from InterestingRon
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Hi Smurphy
I've seen this chapter before - in a different version.
You are obviously generating a final draft of your fabulous book. Can't wait for the completed novel!
Ron

 Comment Written 03-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2012
    Yes, during my recuperation I have made many changes and re edited the entire book. I am pleased you like this one.
Comment from fictionwriter
Excellent
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Great rewrite of this part of the story. You're really working it over, aren't you. I only found one little thing, other than that, great job.

During breakfast(,) Mom dropped a bombshell.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2012
    Thanks for catching the spag. I am pleased you like the rewrite.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
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I feel I have read this chapter before, but certainly didn't mind reading it again and being reminded o that Mum is about to make her public statement. I will certainly be looking forward to the reception her statement receives. Giddy

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2012
    Yes, this is a rewrite of the previous version. I am pleased you liked it.
Comment from Janie King
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Okay, I am assuming you are revising some chapters so we movd forward to the ending chapters. This is good..it's kind of like a refresher course. God bless.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2012
    It has been so long since I've posted I am sure many will need a refresher on the book. I have been doing a lot of revising during my recuperation. I am currently working on current chapters.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
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Hi Smurphy, Another wonderful write. I don't remember this chapter in the previously written ones, but the information is clear, concise and lets the reader know a big something is about to happen. Well done you. xoxo deborah

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2012
    Thanks. I've made so many changes I really can't remember what is new and what isn't. I am so pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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I believe I remember this chapter, or at least its content. You probably did some editing to refine it, and all is in good order. I like that James' instincts lead him in the right direction. -Joan

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2012

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2012
    I edited just about every chapter and even got some of them in the wrong order. It took me two days to get it all back in order....I'm exhausted. Glad you liked this one.
reply by Joan E. on 02-Jul-2012
    I'm sorry about that hiccup, but at least all's well that ends well. -Joan