The Eden Tree
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "The Team Travel to Israel"A family's need of a miracle is in a Box
4 total reviews
Comment from bowls
A nicely timed glitch in the plans. I guess it's best never to have things going well for too long. About the call - in the third paragraph you've left out an apostrophe in "it's Elizabeth". As I was reading it occurred to me that the group hadn't been away from home for very long. Elizabeth seems to have accomplished a very great deal in so short a time. I realize these are just plans at this point, but it does seem to be a bit much. All of the various characters have been nicely assigned their tasks and we'll have new details coming in on several fronts now. Nice way of varying the plot line. This is getting more and more interesting!
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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A nicely timed glitch in the plans. I guess it's best never to have things going well for too long. About the call - in the third paragraph you've left out an apostrophe in "it's Elizabeth". As I was reading it occurred to me that the group hadn't been away from home for very long. Elizabeth seems to have accomplished a very great deal in so short a time. I realize these are just plans at this point, but it does seem to be a bit much. All of the various characters have been nicely assigned their tasks and we'll have new details coming in on several fronts now. Nice way of varying the plot line. This is getting more and more interesting!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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thank you for your continuing encouragement and kind words.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
The story line worked well without any hitch or flop. I could have suggested that it be juiced up but since it is a chapter of a book, I resign my suggestion . Good run.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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The story line worked well without any hitch or flop. I could have suggested that it be juiced up but since it is a chapter of a book, I resign my suggestion . Good run.
ola thomas
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from RaymondJohn
Really interesting story, but I feel I am watching and listening from a distance instead of right in the midst of the conversation. Details can help to do this. A very interesting story. Ray.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Really interesting story, but I feel I am watching and listening from a distance instead of right in the midst of the conversation. Details can help to do this. A very interesting story. Ray.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Thank you for your helpful comment. I am new to writing fiction, so am learning all the time. Without critiques like yours I would not improve.
Comment from burneymac29
Excellent concept you have going here. I like where you are headed with this. Good pacing throughout. I see you are writing in first person as I am writing a novel in first as well and know how challenging it can be. Keep at it and good work
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Excellent concept you have going here. I like where you are headed with this. Good pacing throughout. I see you are writing in first person as I am writing a novel in first as well and know how challenging it can be. Keep at it and good work
Comment Written 27-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2012
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Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. All the best with your novel. I am learning every day!