The Eden Tree
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Relationships and Plans in Cheshire"A family's need of a miracle is in a Box
4 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Jason is selfish and a womanizer. He use people as he wish. He got confidential information and used it to enrich himself. He also are brought up as a person to make money at all cost
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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Jason is selfish and a womanizer. He use people as he wish. He got confidential information and used it to enrich himself. He also are brought up as a person to make money at all cost
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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Thanks for reading. Jason has turned out to be a great antagonist,
Comment from AnnieDawn
I enjoyed your chapter but got in on them in the middle. I hope to pick up now and continue your interesting story. A few corrections and suggestions for you to consider...
back into the Recliner. "This is not the same clowns who were at the airport," he said .....You might want to substitute 'these' for the word 'this' as clowns is plural.
The amber fluid burned my throat as I supped. I continued," They know the...I think a typo? change sipped for the word supped?
his drink in one; with a gasp....in one what? One gulp? One slug?
waiting room, supping coffee from a heat-resistant cup....Another 'supping' word. Maybe it is your accent but for any reader to accept your writing substituting 'sip' for 'sup' reads better.
I have kind of started the correction areas in the middle of sentences as I think it will probably be easier for you to find. Like I said consider my suggestions and make your choice as to whether to use them. Good story and great job.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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I enjoyed your chapter but got in on them in the middle. I hope to pick up now and continue your interesting story. A few corrections and suggestions for you to consider...
back into the Recliner. "This is not the same clowns who were at the airport," he said .....You might want to substitute 'these' for the word 'this' as clowns is plural.
The amber fluid burned my throat as I supped. I continued," They know the...I think a typo? change sipped for the word supped?
his drink in one; with a gasp....in one what? One gulp? One slug?
waiting room, supping coffee from a heat-resistant cup....Another 'supping' word. Maybe it is your accent but for any reader to accept your writing substituting 'sip' for 'sup' reads better.
I have kind of started the correction areas in the middle of sentences as I think it will probably be easier for you to find. Like I said consider my suggestions and make your choice as to whether to use them. Good story and great job.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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Thanks for your reading and your comments, which I have implemented.
Comment from Grammies
Great chapter. Has a lot of detail but the humor comes through and I would say opens up a lot of potential story venues. Just a few errors noted for your information:
- Elizabeth jumped up....She then game (s/b gave)
- with Mr Thomas, the GOSH pediatric ion (s/b pediatrician )
- it was 13.00 ( s/b 13:00 )
-from the carvery (s/b Carvery)
Wonderful reviewing a work that is well written and mostly edited before posting, thanks so much.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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Great chapter. Has a lot of detail but the humor comes through and I would say opens up a lot of potential story venues. Just a few errors noted for your information:
- Elizabeth jumped up....She then game (s/b gave)
- with Mr Thomas, the GOSH pediatric ion (s/b pediatrician )
- it was 13.00 ( s/b 13:00 )
-from the carvery (s/b Carvery)
Wonderful reviewing a work that is well written and mostly edited before posting, thanks so much.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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Thank you for your encouragement and advice. Your proof-reading skills are just what I need!
Comment from bowls
This post saw a great many details being put into effect. I'm particularly impressed by John's ability to analyze the situation and delegate responsibility. He does indeed seem to be a very strong and determined individual with great respect for the law and for others. By dividing things up this way you're opening up possibilities for many plot lines to develop both independently, or, more likely, in an intertwining fashion. I did enjoy this chapter because of all the solutions offered. Everyone seems satisfied, although you do introduce a glitch in Tony's life which will, I'm sure, become a complication. There's one term I'm not familiar with:Plc. Could you explain, please.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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This post saw a great many details being put into effect. I'm particularly impressed by John's ability to analyze the situation and delegate responsibility. He does indeed seem to be a very strong and determined individual with great respect for the law and for others. By dividing things up this way you're opening up possibilities for many plot lines to develop both independently, or, more likely, in an intertwining fashion. I did enjoy this chapter because of all the solutions offered. Everyone seems satisfied, although you do introduce a glitch in Tony's life which will, I'm sure, become a complication. There's one term I'm not familiar with:Plc. Could you explain, please.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2012
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Thank you for your kind words and comment. Plc is a Public Limited Company, which is usually larger and more stable than a Private Limited company (eg.co ltd.)