Comment from bowls

Excellent

What a happy scene - and it's another of those descriptions of setting that you do so well. I was wondering why you went into so much detail about past events in the last two paragraphs. I realize the reader should be reminded of the reason for the party, but shouldn't he be expected to retain some of this past information? (Not a criticism, just wondering why you included it.) Oh, and I love the tree house idea.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012

Thanks for your kind words and, once again, helpful comments. I think I thought a recap was needed as I was starting a new Part. My potential publisher has only read Part One chapter one and feels that I jump about a lot!

Comment from Taurean Monkey

Excellent

I wish I'd read this before I'd read your other chapter. This is descriptive and then when you get to the penultimate lines, heartbreaking as you describe that your grandson had been diagnosed with cancer and you were 'preparing' as a family, for the worst possible outcome - losing him. This is another well written piece. Kind regards, TM

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012

thanks for your comments and thoughts. a prospective publisher has suggested that I jump around a bit on my timeline, so maybe I need some more review time.

Comment from ashimpandit

Good

Dear authors,
you wrote " Part Two The Party: 1 " is a very good concept.you are present Some General Fiction. it is a one for your write.the General Fiction is creating on a unnatural ideas.and the ideas is very deeply and so
humanities.so it is a very good and talented writes.i like
this and thanking you.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2012

---

reply by the author on 19-Jun-2012

thank you for your kind words and comment.