The Dragon Kings` Quest For Vision
Step It Up Contest Submission50 total reviews
Comment from mermaids
This is an excellent piece of writing, It could be a whole book. Usually I do not read long poems but you held my interest. There are many excellent qualities about this poem. Well developed characters
Smooth rhyme
a story with a plot
you surprised me at the end
I also admire the story beginning with the villian's life and point of view. I cannot think of anything that needs to be changed.
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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This is an excellent piece of writing, It could be a whole book. Usually I do not read long poems but you held my interest. There are many excellent qualities about this poem. Well developed characters
Smooth rhyme
a story with a plot
you surprised me at the end
I also admire the story beginning with the villian's life and point of view. I cannot think of anything that needs to be changed.
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much mermaids, for the six stars and your wonderful words...I truly appreciate them...blessings.
Comment from MENNIPLOSS
Congratulations, it is a marvellous history! Very interesting and so only it remains to order you a strong embrace. An interesting writing. Thank you for sharing it.
menniploss
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Congratulations, it is a marvellous history! Very interesting and so only it remains to order you a strong embrace. An interesting writing. Thank you for sharing it.
menniploss
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the six stars menniploss...I truly appreciate them and I am so glad you enjoyed it...blessings.
Comment from tasettrini
Beautiful. So much deepness and wisedom.If only all could see and hold their heart open..There is too much wisdom in your words to respond in any just way. Every piece of this was awakening in thought and expression.Very tragic, very abundant in visionary words, expression.I couldn't even begin to accomplish an adequate response. Thank you for this write of wisdom.
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Beautiful. So much deepness and wisedom.If only all could see and hold their heart open..There is too much wisdom in your words to respond in any just way. Every piece of this was awakening in thought and expression.Very tragic, very abundant in visionary words, expression.I couldn't even begin to accomplish an adequate response. Thank you for this write of wisdom.
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Hi tasettrini...I thank you so much for the six stars and you touched me deeply with your words...I truly appreciate them and I am so glad you enjoyed my story...blessings.
Comment from RaymondJohn
I was grinning all the time I was reading this because it always sounded like a limerick you never quite finished. It is a great saga with great heroic imagery and much humor. It really was a great read, but, darn it, finish one of the limericks for me. LOL. Cheers. Ray.
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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I was grinning all the time I was reading this because it always sounded like a limerick you never quite finished. It is a great saga with great heroic imagery and much humor. It really was a great read, but, darn it, finish one of the limericks for me. LOL. Cheers. Ray.
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Hi Ray...thanks so much for reading and reviewing...so glad you enjoyed it...blessings.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Poet,
I don't usually read very long poems but once I began to read this one I was hooked. I love your rhyming pattern of aa/bb, it is very musical and pulls the well written lines down the page with ease. You managed to make this poem so compelling and magical I didn't even notice how long it is. Your characters, expressive words and theme are all fabulous. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Hi Poet,
I don't usually read very long poems but once I began to read this one I was hooked. I love your rhyming pattern of aa/bb, it is very musical and pulls the well written lines down the page with ease. You managed to make this poem so compelling and magical I didn't even notice how long it is. Your characters, expressive words and theme are all fabulous. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Hi chey...I am so glad that my very long poem captured your attention so that you could read it to the end...I too have difficulty reading long ones...thank you for your words...I truly appreciate them...blessings.
Comment from K.Esta
This is excellent. It reads like a story and the rhythm flows well throughout. The only thing I picked up on was the second line of the 20th stanza (I think) 'Is a daunting task and never easy' sounds a bit redundant, but it didn't take away from the overall feel. Well done!
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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This is excellent. It reads like a story and the rhythm flows well throughout. The only thing I picked up on was the second line of the 20th stanza (I think) 'Is a daunting task and never easy' sounds a bit redundant, but it didn't take away from the overall feel. Well done!
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the six stars K.Esta...I truly appreciate them and I am so glad you enjoyed my story...blessings.
Comment from sgalletti
As one who was enticed to enter dear Aaron's contest and absolutely failed on the "epic" amount of words, I cannot laud you enough for your genius in this poem. You took this seriously and obviously spent a huge amount of time on it...I'm impressed enough to give a precious six! Best of luck, with what is, in my humble opinion, a winner! Sue
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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As one who was enticed to enter dear Aaron's contest and absolutely failed on the "epic" amount of words, I cannot laud you enough for your genius in this poem. You took this seriously and obviously spent a huge amount of time on it...I'm impressed enough to give a precious six! Best of luck, with what is, in my humble opinion, a winner! Sue
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Hi Sue...thanks so much for the six stars...I truly appreciate them...I also appreciate your wonderful words...I am glad you enjoyed my story...blessings.
Comment from jaeladarling
This is an excellent tale with a great moral. It's a pleasing read, to be sure. :)
One thing I found distracting was the excessive comma use. I had to train my eyes to read around them. You don't need commas (or any other punctuation) at the end of every line. One thing I remember from the poetry classes I took is that, even in a rhyming poem, the sentences should read like sentences.
For example, say this line was in a story:
"Beginning to feel, somewhat elated."
A comma would not belong there. Same with a poem. Conversely, take this sentence:
"the king answered looking quite amused."
A comma goes after "answered". You would still have your rhythm. :)
That's really my only beef, but I am quite picky about commas and sentence structure. LOL I blame it on my former college English prof. :)
And I have to ask - did you use two apostrophes instead of quotation marks? Maybe it's just me. I just thought it looked strange.
ANYWAY. like I said, this is an excellent story in poem form. Definitely one of those tales that can be told over and over again. Nice work!
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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This is an excellent tale with a great moral. It's a pleasing read, to be sure. :)
One thing I found distracting was the excessive comma use. I had to train my eyes to read around them. You don't need commas (or any other punctuation) at the end of every line. One thing I remember from the poetry classes I took is that, even in a rhyming poem, the sentences should read like sentences.
For example, say this line was in a story:
"Beginning to feel, somewhat elated."
A comma would not belong there. Same with a poem. Conversely, take this sentence:
"the king answered looking quite amused."
A comma goes after "answered". You would still have your rhythm. :)
That's really my only beef, but I am quite picky about commas and sentence structure. LOL I blame it on my former college English prof. :)
And I have to ask - did you use two apostrophes instead of quotation marks? Maybe it's just me. I just thought it looked strange.
ANYWAY. like I said, this is an excellent story in poem form. Definitely one of those tales that can be told over and over again. Nice work!
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much jaeladarling, for reading and reviewing...I appreciate your comments and I am glad you enjoyed my story...blessings.
Comment from wilburmillicent
A mighty and most worthy effort. You write in a style I like very much and your sense of humour floods out. I think that you tongue was planted in your cheek....and what cheek! I loved it for the use of words, the ease of reading and the sheer, epic length of it. Brilliant! I wish I had more stars to award. More please.
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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A mighty and most worthy effort. You write in a style I like very much and your sense of humour floods out. I think that you tongue was planted in your cheek....and what cheek! I loved it for the use of words, the ease of reading and the sheer, epic length of it. Brilliant! I wish I had more stars to award. More please.
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much for the six stars wilburmillicent...I truly appreciate them. I also appreciate your words and I am so glad you enjoyed my story...blessings.
Comment from guinea
It is extremely well written. It is so interesting that i was glued to each word. If i had 10 stars I would give them. Excellent writing. The poem adventure and good and evil. I picture a great book out of this.
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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It is extremely well written. It is so interesting that i was glued to each word. If i had 10 stars I would give them. Excellent writing. The poem adventure and good and evil. I picture a great book out of this.
Comment Written 22-May-2012
reply by the author on 22-May-2012
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Thanks so much guinea, for reading and reviewing...I appreciate your words...they mean alot...I am actually thinking about making this into a book...blessings to you and yours.
