Windows To The Past
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 " The Lonesome Cowboy"Poems about the old West.
38 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Overall a very nice poem with a good story line, more realistic and less romantic view of a cowboy's life. Just two things to fix to make it even better.
The Cowboys life not what it seemed << Need apostrophe on Cowboy's ... possessive form... it's HIS life
Listening to the coyotes howling << Meter is good everywhere but here... this line is too long. Suggest changing to:
Hearing the coyotes howling
That would repair the rhythm.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Overall a very nice poem with a good story line, more realistic and less romantic view of a cowboy's life. Just two things to fix to make it even better.
The Cowboys life not what it seemed << Need apostrophe on Cowboy's ... possessive form... it's HIS life
Listening to the coyotes howling << Meter is good everywhere but here... this line is too long. Suggest changing to:
Hearing the coyotes howling
That would repair the rhythm.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thanks Phyllis, That is much better, Thanks for the help! Honeycomb
Comment from guinea
Lonesome cowboy is quite good. I enjoyed reading the poetry of your words. The cowboy came to life in front of me. I could see him camping on the ground. And I felt his thoughts.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Lonesome cowboy is quite good. I enjoyed reading the poetry of your words. The cowboy came to life in front of me. I could see him camping on the ground. And I felt his thoughts.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you. I had to get in his zone for this one. It was not easy. Thanks for the review. Honeycomb
Comment from Carrie Carson
Good job bringing in the many aspects of a cowboy's life on the range. The companionship the horse offers hopefully is some solace.
No spag issues, good form. I like the pace of this, plodding along like on the trail.
Thanks for sharing a good read.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Good job bringing in the many aspects of a cowboy's life on the range. The companionship the horse offers hopefully is some solace.
No spag issues, good form. I like the pace of this, plodding along like on the trail.
Thanks for sharing a good read.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thanks for the review Carrie! Honeycomb
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Sure, you're welcome.
Comment from Capricorn30
This is outstanding---I love the quatrains--your words are such a great description of a cowboy's life. I really like the photograph--I can almost hear a coyote howling as I read this!
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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This is outstanding---I love the quatrains--your words are such a great description of a cowboy's life. I really like the photograph--I can almost hear a coyote howling as I read this!
Comment Written 30-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you very much for the review. I appreciate it. Honeycomb
Comment from Dutchie
Wonderful poem Nancy with smooth flow and wonderful rhyme.
We only know the cowboys from the movies here, but well I know it's a hard and lonely life. You expressed it so well and it was a joy to read. Fia
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Wonderful poem Nancy with smooth flow and wonderful rhyme.
We only know the cowboys from the movies here, but well I know it's a hard and lonely life. You expressed it so well and it was a joy to read. Fia
Comment Written 30-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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My son tried it. He signed on at a ranch. He was a quick study. It was a lonely thankless life he finally brought his bedroll home! LOL Nancy Thanks Fia!
Comment from Ekim777
I read your poem and thought; what is there to review; why mess with perfection but something disturbed me. Something was left out like the spirit of the first settlers; "Go west young man." Has that spirit died in all America? And then more was uncovered just from the first two lines.
"Just a horse as his companion/ Searching mountain top and canyon." It's all there or the lack of it. A cowboy's relationship with his horse is every thing, both physically and in their souls. And the riding together, man and horse could be a spiritual bond. Then there are mountains, half way up to heaven. I've written about such things. Let me introduce you to my piece.The Riders on Gilboa. (the third spirit is a fiction)
Eyes like coals blown on breath of their nostrils.
Whiskered chins tucked into stoutly arched necks
Saliva creams iron on pain curled tongues.
Reins and stretched stirrups curtail equine might
As horseman and woman and mountain are one. - Ekim777
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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I read your poem and thought; what is there to review; why mess with perfection but something disturbed me. Something was left out like the spirit of the first settlers; "Go west young man." Has that spirit died in all America? And then more was uncovered just from the first two lines.
"Just a horse as his companion/ Searching mountain top and canyon." It's all there or the lack of it. A cowboy's relationship with his horse is every thing, both physically and in their souls. And the riding together, man and horse could be a spiritual bond. Then there are mountains, half way up to heaven. I've written about such things. Let me introduce you to my piece.The Riders on Gilboa. (the third spirit is a fiction)
Eyes like coals blown on breath of their nostrils.
Whiskered chins tucked into stoutly arched necks
Saliva creams iron on pain curled tongues.
Reins and stretched stirrups curtail equine might
As horseman and woman and mountain are one. - Ekim777
Comment Written 30-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Sounds lovely. I will The trouble with "Go west young man" is they did and it got crowded and of course they had to civilize it. Ruined everything. I cling to my little 15 acre ranch and fence the encroaching world out.Honeycomb
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I couldn't find your poem. Sorry! Honeycomb
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I have never poste to Fanstory.
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WHY? Oh you mean that poem? Okay
Comment from burton.0115
What a clever poem - it rhymes beautifully and tells a story all the way through.
I think you have done a good job,despite the fact you haven't punctuated!
Mary
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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What a clever poem - it rhymes beautifully and tells a story all the way through.
I think you have done a good job,despite the fact you haven't punctuated!
Mary
Comment Written 30-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you. I appreciate the review. Do you think I need to punctuate? Honeycomb.
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It's not for me to say. It seems to be fine without.
Comment from TammyGail
What a somber and touching poem about the lonesome life of the cowboy. Very well written and expressed, loved your use of imagery alongside your words. Thanks for sharing
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reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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What a somber and touching poem about the lonesome life of the cowboy. Very well written and expressed, loved your use of imagery alongside your words. Thanks for sharing
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2012
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Thank you Tammy! Living in Nevada I know what I am talking about. My son tried it . It didn't take him long to catch on. LOL
Honeycomb
