The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "The Deposition Part 1"A family learns their father is a serial killer
24 total reviews
Comment from psalmist
Wow, this chapter is riveting. You did a magnificent job bringing out the raw emotions of poor Alfina. I also thought you did a good job with her broken English. I could hear her voice in my head as I read. I hope you are feeling OK. Glad you can still post some. Linda
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Wow, this chapter is riveting. You did a magnificent job bringing out the raw emotions of poor Alfina. I also thought you did a good job with her broken English. I could hear her voice in my head as I read. I hope you are feeling OK. Glad you can still post some. Linda
Comment Written 29-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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I am feeling fine. I don't have my surgery until next Friday May 4th. It will all be fine and I'll be back home in no time. I am so pleased you liked this chapter. I hope to post a few more before the surgery.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is a very powerful courtroom drama with lots of emotion and must have been very difficult to write. I've found the ending especially sad. Giddy
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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This is a very powerful courtroom drama with lots of emotion and must have been very difficult to write. I've found the ending especially sad. Giddy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2012
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Yes, it was difficult to write. I tend to get emotionally involved with my characters and sometime find myself crying along with them.
Comment from CHarte
That poor woman! What a terrible life for anyone to have to lead. This is well written and really touches the readers heart. Well done!
Collette
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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That poor woman! What a terrible life for anyone to have to lead. This is well written and really touches the readers heart. Well done!
Collette
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much. It was a hard chapter to write because I get so emotionally involved with my characters. I am so pleased you liked this one.
Comment from words
Another engrossing chapter, Sasha,
The horror James' grandmother lived through is hard to imagine.
Human beings can sink to such darkness.
Well done. Hugs, d
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Another engrossing chapter, Sasha,
The horror James' grandmother lived through is hard to imagine.
Human beings can sink to such darkness.
Well done. Hugs, d
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much. I an so pleased you liked this one.
Comment from Alaskastory
'The Deposition Part 1' is very well done, Sasha. You did really well with Alfina dialogue, but I do wonder if a few words could be paired a little lower, such as school could be 'schoolhouse'; graduate could be 'school end'; change scraming to just 'screams'; change 'knew immediately' to 'now knew'.
May simplify how this is said: 'tell Dark he leaving the cabin to go to a big school and learn to be a doctor' may say: 'tell Dark he leave to a big schoolhouse to be a doctor'.
Just a few thought about composing a difficult dialect. Marie
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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'The Deposition Part 1' is very well done, Sasha. You did really well with Alfina dialogue, but I do wonder if a few words could be paired a little lower, such as school could be 'schoolhouse'; graduate could be 'school end'; change scraming to just 'screams'; change 'knew immediately' to 'now knew'.
May simplify how this is said: 'tell Dark he leaving the cabin to go to a big school and learn to be a doctor' may say: 'tell Dark he leave to a big schoolhouse to be a doctor'.
Just a few thought about composing a difficult dialect. Marie
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thanks for the suggestions, I like them and will incorporate them into the story. I am so pleased you liked this chapter.
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Thanks for the suggestions. I like them and will make the changes. I am so pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again you have done a very good job with this post. I am more concerned about you, right now. How are you doing? If I remember correctly you have doctor's appointments this week and next. You are in my prayers.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Once again you have done a very good job with this post. I am more concerned about you, right now. How are you doing? If I remember correctly you have doctor's appointments this week and next. You are in my prayers.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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I am scheduled for surgery Friday May 4. I have several friends that will be staying with me when I come home. I will be doing fine. I am so pleased you like this chapter. I hope to post at least one or two more before the surgery.
Comment from RebelRose
Alfina, who is Dark" [question mark needed here]
He go to school and lea[r]n it there."[r left out]
Another great chapter. Must have been hard for Angela to hear about the girl screaming.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Alfina, who is Dark" [question mark needed here]
He go to school and lea[r]n it there."[r left out]
Another great chapter. Must have been hard for Angela to hear about the girl screaming.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2012
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Thanks for catching the spags. It is amazing how many I miss! I am pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from missy98writer
Sasha,
Your latest chapter is sensationally writter. The things evil psychos can do to even a family member. These heartless bastards are without conscious, no moral gage, vain and narrasistic to boot. Poor Granny. I believe she has Stocholmes Syndrome. I really enjoy your very fine narrative voice, great characterization and excellent detailed writing. recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers to ready. Enjoy the Six. Blessed weekend day to you, my friend. Peace out...Melissa.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Sasha,
Your latest chapter is sensationally writter. The things evil psychos can do to even a family member. These heartless bastards are without conscious, no moral gage, vain and narrasistic to boot. Poor Granny. I believe she has Stocholmes Syndrome. I really enjoy your very fine narrative voice, great characterization and excellent detailed writing. recommend your latest chapter to other reviewers to ready. Enjoy the Six. Blessed weekend day to you, my friend. Peace out...Melissa.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Poor Grandmother is lost having been kept all alone with no social contact with anyone her entire life. It will take a long time for her to adjust to a world with people in it. I am so pleased you liked this one and sincerely appreciate your marvelous 6 stars.
Comment from MumEsGirl
This is a great story and I would love to see you adding to it more often. You have a great talent and should pursue it.
Your work is unique and enjoyable. I await the next installment with baited breath
hugs
kate
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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This is a great story and I would love to see you adding to it more often. You have a great talent and should pursue it.
Your work is unique and enjoyable. I await the next installment with baited breath
hugs
kate
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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I usually post at least three posts a week but I am preparing for surgery next week and am busy going to the doctor's everyday for more tests. After the surgery I should be back to normal. I am so pleased you enjoy this story.
Comment from Joan E.
Thanks for checking in and adding another chapter, which lets us know that you are doing well enough to keep writing. I think it was good to have James remind us that his father had "manipulated the system," and this difficult deposition was one of the few ways to right things. I think you had to let Grandmother tell the complete sequence of events in her own words. Well done. -Joan
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Thanks for checking in and adding another chapter, which lets us know that you are doing well enough to keep writing. I think it was good to have James remind us that his father had "manipulated the system," and this difficult deposition was one of the few ways to right things. I think you had to let Grandmother tell the complete sequence of events in her own words. Well done. -Joan
Comment Written 27-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much I am so pleased you liked this one. I don't have my surgery until next Thursday. I am just busy this week having a ton of tests done.
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Honeytree had her surgery last week and is recovering. The tests are necessary but take up so much time. You are in my thoughts, and I hope the procedure is smooth and uneventful. Many more hugs- Joan