let me shine
love3 total reviews
Comment from God's Writer
A beautiful poem little one. You have such a beautiful mind. So much said with so few words. Thank you for the honor of reading this little and awesome poem.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2012
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A beautiful poem little one. You have such a beautiful mind. So much said with so few words. Thank you for the honor of reading this little and awesome poem.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2012
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thanks so much
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No, little one I must be the one thanking you for such a beautiful poem. I will tell you I don't flatter people. That is just empty. These words and all the reviews are from my heart and are the truth as I see it.
Shalom,
Erick
Comment from gifted$1
I like the simple message of what you wrote here. I am giving you a four because there has to be a couple quick fixes and then it will be more than ready. I see that you are entering it into a 5/7/5 contest, so that means your first line has to have 5 syllables only.. 'let me shine my love' meets that requirement, but then you added..'shine it'..so if you drop that, you will most definetly be at 5. You second line should be 7 syllables..it is only 5, so maybe you can move the 'shine it' from the first line to the second..then that would make a perfect 7 there. The last line has 6 syllables..and you have an extra 't' on heart, so that has to come off. And, that last line has one too many syllables..6 instead of 5..so be thinking of a way to revamp that one. These are so very hard to write, and if this is your first, I totally get it. I wrote one a few weeks ago and it wasn't easy. Let me know what you think..and I will read it again for you if you make some changes. I always offer to do that. Okay? :)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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I like the simple message of what you wrote here. I am giving you a four because there has to be a couple quick fixes and then it will be more than ready. I see that you are entering it into a 5/7/5 contest, so that means your first line has to have 5 syllables only.. 'let me shine my love' meets that requirement, but then you added..'shine it'..so if you drop that, you will most definetly be at 5. You second line should be 7 syllables..it is only 5, so maybe you can move the 'shine it' from the first line to the second..then that would make a perfect 7 there. The last line has 6 syllables..and you have an extra 't' on heart, so that has to come off. And, that last line has one too many syllables..6 instead of 5..so be thinking of a way to revamp that one. These are so very hard to write, and if this is your first, I totally get it. I wrote one a few weeks ago and it wasn't easy. Let me know what you think..and I will read it again for you if you make some changes. I always offer to do that. Okay? :)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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thanks :)
Comment from mystery poet
Bear with me here, please.
The last line, last word, heartt-should be heart,I think.
Beyond that, I think your 5/7/5 is quite nice.
Best wishes to you in the contest!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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Bear with me here, please.
The last line, last word, heartt-should be heart,I think.
Beyond that, I think your 5/7/5 is quite nice.
Best wishes to you in the contest!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2012
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thanks:)
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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follow me ill follow u too...:)
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I will be here for you, dear friend!!!
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thanks:)
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Write on, girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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lol ok:)
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O.K.LOL, over and out!!!
