Reviews from

The Kiss

Teenagers in a car

24 total reviews 
Comment from Crackerberries
Excellent
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This was a great read all the way to the end...YUCK! How funny and disgusting all at the same time. I really hope it wasn't a true story.

 Comment Written 09-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 13-Apr-2012
    thank u
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
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I enjoyed readin your 100 Word Dash III poem, "The Kiss". Very nice beginning and middle with a great twist at the end. Very nice work.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 09-Apr-2012
    thank you
Comment from WilliamDeen
Excellent
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I definitely think I would have called that date off right then! He burped when you kissed him? YUCK! I hope your night got better... or did it get worse! Good job getting all the words into your short story!

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
    thank you , the voting is today, i appreciate this review
Comment from Patti R.
Excellent
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Ahh, I can just see the Z28 - forgot about those cars! This is an original and creative little story. Quite different from most of the others! Enjoyable. Unfortunate ending!

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
    thank you
Comment from seashellrees4
Excellent
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lol. Oh how Gross! That ending was very funny! Nothing like kissing someone in return receiving a bad taste from it. I think that would have instantly dissolved the puppy love. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
    thank u so much
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Excellent
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Eeww! That punch line was wonderfully gross. Your writing was seamless and in keeping with the rules. I found nothing to adjust or correct. Good luck.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
    thank you so much too kind
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
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Your title really leaves something to be desired - did you forget to change it before posting?
What a funny ending - that sure ended that idealized fantasy of the perfect first kiss. LOL
You stay within the contest's strict word limits and you use the challenge words well :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
    i will change that and thank you so much
Comment from purrfect tale
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Oh, gross! I hate when that happens. This was really funny and you gave the reader a lot of information in very few words.

and keep their mouth(s) shut.

 Comment Written 08-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
    thank you so much
Comment from Linda England Bonam
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You wrote this very well, and were able to work the necessary words into this story very nicely. It is hard to write a story with only 100 words. Job well done.

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
    that was my first draft and it shocked me because without even knowing it , it was exactly 100 word, in my head i heard the twilight zone theme it was alittle eerie, thank you
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Nice twist here! Well done for 100 words, hard to do I'm sure. I didn't even try this one. No spag that I can see, and good sentence structure.

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2012

reply by the author on 07-Apr-2012
    Thank ou, i actually wrote the draft in 10 minutes and it was exactly 100 words, spooked me a bit to say the least