Tales from Sardine City
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Fishy Questions, part II"Dark Science Fiction
32 total reviews
Comment from jadapenn
Herb, you've got my brain screwed after reading this. Geez, this poor fella has a hard time in his tin cell. Pretending he's a sardine. Or is he. I think I'm now just as mad as he is.
Well written. I like your humour. luv jada
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Herb, you've got my brain screwed after reading this. Geez, this poor fella has a hard time in his tin cell. Pretending he's a sardine. Or is he. I think I'm now just as mad as he is.
Well written. I like your humour. luv jada
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Yes it is rather nuts, like squirl poo.
Thanks Jada.
Comment from LilHippie
WOW!!! I remember reading the first part awhile back. So well written, so creative and unique. This is so awesome. How did you come up with this. This is "good" sci-fi, really good. So cleverly written, such a premise you set up initially. I love how his victim can talk to him, without talking, but in his head. I cannot wait til she takes him to see her babies, tries to make him understand. That is going to be awesome. I also cannot wait to see what is in store for him, for her also. Is her existance over, I do not think so. Ssssh!!! Don't say anything!! LOL This is great. I love the description earlier, which I have never forgotten, of this place, his tiny room/area and the hallway outside his room. I cannot wait to know what lies in other rooms, in the whole place, and what becomes of a society where people work at such young ages and retire at such a young age. BRAVO!!!!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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WOW!!! I remember reading the first part awhile back. So well written, so creative and unique. This is so awesome. How did you come up with this. This is "good" sci-fi, really good. So cleverly written, such a premise you set up initially. I love how his victim can talk to him, without talking, but in his head. I cannot wait til she takes him to see her babies, tries to make him understand. That is going to be awesome. I also cannot wait to see what is in store for him, for her also. Is her existance over, I do not think so. Ssssh!!! Don't say anything!! LOL This is great. I love the description earlier, which I have never forgotten, of this place, his tiny room/area and the hallway outside his room. I cannot wait to know what lies in other rooms, in the whole place, and what becomes of a society where people work at such young ages and retire at such a young age. BRAVO!!!!
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Hey Lilhip! love your enthusiasm for this and everything. You are very kind and encouraging.
No spoilers forthcoming, LOL
Glad you liked it, and I always love a six. :)
Peter
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You deserve six!!! Very unique!! Have a great day!! Love, Irene
Comment from Torrence Winter
This was an interesting story. i remember reading the first one. I am curious to find out as well what exactly a sardine is. There was no spag that I could find.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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This was an interesting story. i remember reading the first one. I am curious to find out as well what exactly a sardine is. There was no spag that I could find.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Thanks Anya. Glad to peak your curiosity.
Peter
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is so good that I bookmarked it in case I can't find it later to read the first chapter. I love good sci fi and this one sure sounds like a winner!
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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This is so good that I bookmarked it in case I can't find it later to read the first chapter. I love good sci fi and this one sure sounds like a winner!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Thanks, Phyllis, very kind of you.
Peter
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Herb, not kind, just greedy... get a fabulous book for freeeee! Heheee...
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Er ... hum. I haven't read chapter one. I am utterly swept up into this. There is virtually no descriptive writing, virtually no explanation of anything and yet it is compelling reading. Certainly off the walla nd nothing like anything else I have ever read. Hmmmm. Definitely worth the six, even though I am confused. Not so confused that I wouldn't read the next chapter. I've been missing from FS for many months due to cancer and surgery and radiotherapy and all sorts of other yukky stuff. I'm back but unsure of how long I'll be beck if you get my drift. I just hope I will be around to follow the rest of this intriguing writing.
Best wishes and kind regards
Kat
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Er ... hum. I haven't read chapter one. I am utterly swept up into this. There is virtually no descriptive writing, virtually no explanation of anything and yet it is compelling reading. Certainly off the walla nd nothing like anything else I have ever read. Hmmmm. Definitely worth the six, even though I am confused. Not so confused that I wouldn't read the next chapter. I've been missing from FS for many months due to cancer and surgery and radiotherapy and all sorts of other yukky stuff. I'm back but unsure of how long I'll be beck if you get my drift. I just hope I will be around to follow the rest of this intriguing writing.
Best wishes and kind regards
Kat
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Hey, sorry to hear that, I do hope so, if you don't stick around for the next instalment I will consider it incredibly rude, and seems I haven't plans to write it for a while (a novel or two first) ... well you get the point.
You are very kind, your gracious stars made me smile.
Smiling still, Peter.
Thanks for six
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Keep smiling, Peter!
I just re-read my review and noticed all the terrible typos I left you. Whatever must you think of me? I thoroughly enjoyed the read and will continue on with it.
Kat
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Typos?? I'm the worst for it. If it wasn't for Google chrome checking it all for me ... :)
Comment from TSPoet
Hi
.
The flow of the time frames along with impact
on the reader all is there, well done.
.
This part I do wonder about.
Read the following:
"Good girl." She felt patronised. I laughed again and this made her angry, a strong emotion. Suddenly I felt angry too. She felt scared, and then she struggled again. Calm."
(I am confussed on the intent of the act itself)
.
Thank you for sharing
.
TSPoet
tom
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Hi
.
The flow of the time frames along with impact
on the reader all is there, well done.
.
This part I do wonder about.
Read the following:
"Good girl." She felt patronised. I laughed again and this made her angry, a strong emotion. Suddenly I felt angry too. She felt scared, and then she struggled again. Calm."
(I am confussed on the intent of the act itself)
.
Thank you for sharing
.
TSPoet
tom
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thanks, Tom. Thanks for taking the time to read.
It is a bit confusing, it's meant to be, as it would be confusing feeling two sets of feelings in one head and trying to work out which is which. This was just to show the connection between the man himself and the conciousness that he finds he has to share his brain with. And that the emotions, when strong, can pass between the two. Or something like that LOL, there was definitely some intent, there normally is.
Peter
Comment from Auroraboreal800
What an imagination!! This is a wonderful science fiction writing, with some different ingredients. Very interesting and very well written... You keep the readers attention from the very start.
EXCELLENT JOB!!
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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What an imagination!! This is a wonderful science fiction writing, with some different ingredients. Very interesting and very well written... You keep the readers attention from the very start.
EXCELLENT JOB!!
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thanks, that's very kind of you.
Peter
Comment from ebeta
This story is interesting. I found myself wishing it were a bit longer. But I've come to realize that longer stories tend to not get reviewed here, so I understand the need for smaller, 'more digestible' chunks
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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This story is interesting. I found myself wishing it were a bit longer. But I've come to realize that longer stories tend to not get reviewed here, so I understand the need for smaller, 'more digestible' chunks
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thanks for looking, I used to post around five thousand word sections, and got a about 10 to 15 reviews. This is only 1500, the nature of the beast I'm afraid.
Thanks again.
Peter
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my latest 2 stories were of the 5k variety as well... you need to pump those up to like $1.15 just to get 10-15 reviews... I completely understand
Comment from SecretSquirrel
It's not too shabby. The link seems to be missing something, like he is not completely in his head and then in hers, but it is pretty good. The tags are good and I did not get confused about who was talking. I think a little more description of where they are might add to the ambiance. They kind of float around through whatever type of building they are in.
The story format seems pretty strong and the ideas are interesting. It has a real neuromancer type feel to it and is catchy.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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It's not too shabby. The link seems to be missing something, like he is not completely in his head and then in hers, but it is pretty good. The tags are good and I did not get confused about who was talking. I think a little more description of where they are might add to the ambiance. They kind of float around through whatever type of building they are in.
The story format seems pretty strong and the ideas are interesting. It has a real neuromancer type feel to it and is catchy.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thanks, I know what you mean about description, but he doesn't leave his room until the end of this part and the room is described in part 1, the city will be described in the next part.
Thanks again, glad you find it interesting.
Peter
Comment from MumEsGirl
Never been a great fan of science fiction, but this work has something different. It appeals to me.
Great style of writing which holds the readers attention from the start.
Look forward to seeing more of your writing
hugs
kate
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Never been a great fan of science fiction, but this work has something different. It appeals to me.
Great style of writing which holds the readers attention from the start.
Look forward to seeing more of your writing
hugs
kate
Comment Written 30-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thanks, Kate. Glad you liked it.
Peter
