Comment from FrankieW

Excellent

Awesome acrostic with a soulful soldier's message. Well written, the rhyme well done. Best of luck to you in the contest. The background color is effective--like blood!

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 29-Mar-2012

Thanks for your kind comments.

Comment from Chris Davis

Good

Your title initially caught my attention because of the movie as I am related to the main character played by Mel Gibson, but reading and looking at the art and the note at the top it made me realize that it like had more to do with the heroes of today.
As far as technicalities, I think the spaces breaking up the word are distracting... and not sure if they are even supposed to be there as far as an acrostic poem goes...?

Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 29-Mar-2012

Thanks for your comments. I have never done a poem here before and dont fully understand how the acrostic is to work. I thought for the contest that each new sentence should start with the next letter of the acrostic..i tried to do that.

reply by Chris Davis on 29-Mar-2012

It is... but the word(s) should also be complete vertical too, I believe. I just did two of my own for the first time... you can check them out (don't have to rate if you don't want) but maybe that might explain what I am trying to say better. They are on my profile page. 'My Not So Secret Wish' and 'Grayce And Christine'... I don't know if that will help. But that's what we're here for, to learn from each other... right? :)
~Chris

reply by the author on 29-Mar-2012

Hi Chris, yes you are very right. The reason I joined the site is to learn. I think what you are saying is its not correct to use A as a separate start to a sentence. I will look at your ideas.

Comment from rhymelord

Excellent

Dear vigour,
Well done in endowing the acrostic with rhyme and metre, rather than a succession of (sometimes) almost unrelated and often ungrammatical sentences. Good luck in the comp..
Regards
Reg

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2012

Thanks for your kind words!

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I am sorry I do not have a 6 left to give you for this remarkable tribute to the many who have lost their lives heroically for us who wait at home. This is a very emotional poem about a very emotional subject. You have penned it well! xsx

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 28-Mar-2012

Thank you for your kind comment

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

I love that story and I'm glad someone did a poem about him... very well done too. The word choice in the last two lines is excellent!

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2012

Thanks for your kind words.

Comment from percival86jack

Excellent

Eternity beckons not faraway
Hearts will mourn the costs outweigh
Enduring pain and feel castaway
A soldier's lot is straightaway

A great tribute to those who put their lives in grave danger so others may live free! A great write... cheers, Jack

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2012

Thanks for your comments

Comment from Amy Comstock

Excellent

This is very powerful and emotional. You wrote an excellent tribute to the wonderful men and women who protect our country..thank you and good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2012

Thanks for your comments

Comment from Crackerberries

Excellent

This is a very good tribute to those who give their lives for others. At first I was going to tell you that I thought 'he' needed to be capitalized because I thought you were talking about the One who gave it all.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2012

Thanks for your comment. I was thinking of our military, but of course, I can see how it may be taken to be religious.

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

How do they do it we wonder? They must think themselves invincible! No one wants to die so they must think they won't or they just heed the call to arms without thinking! Whatever, they are a cut above.
It is a very good Poem which could be divided into two Quatrains and a Couplet! It would be easier to read.
Also you could make the background a Brown and the type a Light tan or yellow to go with the picture which is very nice!Just a suggestion. Easy fix.
I like the way all your lines rhyme. This is very good. Keep it up! Honeycomb

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012

thanks for your comments and help. I have amended as you suggested.

reply by nancy_e_davis on 25-Mar-2012

My pleasure. Nancy

Comment from Kingsland

Excellent

To believe lives are not throwaway.> thrown away would sound and read better here. If you do leave it as throw away. It would be two words, not one...
I liked the message in this piece of poetic art. It was short but went straight to its point. I enjoyed reading it... John

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012

thanks for your comments, I have made the change you suggested