Comment from CHarte

Excellent

After being away from fanstory for a couple of months, I have spent a pleasant day catching up on your story. It's moving along quite well and I look forward to reading more.

Collette

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2012

Thanks. I am pleased you like it.

Comment from Kathryn Varuzza

Excellent

Wow!
That's what this chapter made me say.
Interesting.
Good dialogue.
Wonderful descriptions.
I loved how you ended this chapter.
Interesting developments too.
It must be very scary to be thrown into a totally new environment at that age.
Great job.
Katie

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012

Many years ago there was a story on the news about a woman that had been living near Mt. Rainier alone for more than 20 years. Her husband died and she never tried to reach out to the public. She was eventually placed in a home because she simply could not adjust to how much things had changed. BTW Glad you liked the chapter,

reply by Kathryn Varuzza on 24-Mar-2012

Yeah, it must be very difficult to experience stuff like that.
Katie

Comment from rtobaygo

Excellent

WORD FLOW SMOOTH AND CRISP. DIALOGUE, NARRATIVE AND SHOWING MOVED THE SCENE'S PLOT ALONG RATHER NICELY. BIT MORE DELVING INTO MAIN PROTAGONISTS' CHARACTERS, AS WELL AS MORE INFORMATION ON THE ANTAGONISTS.

IF BY DESIGN, MY APOLOGY. YOU HAVE THE WORD STRANGE TWICE WITHIN THREE SENTENCES. I know you are seeing and hearing things that must seem very strange. Seattle is a big city, not like the small farm you grew up on. There are many things that will seem strange to you.

YOU'RE OUT OF SIXES FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE REVIEWING MONTH, SO I MUST BE CONTENT IN GIVING FIVE STAR RECOGNITIONS.

TAKE CARE,

RAY

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012

I'll go back over that section and see what I can come up with instead of strange. Thanks for the great review.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

James will have his hands full with his grandmother, but I am sure it will be worth it. I enjoyed reading this post and you are doing a wonderful job.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012

Yes, he certainly will but, as you say, it will be worth it.

Comment from Joan E.

Exceptional

I am enjoying this new relationship between James and his grandmother. It's fascinating she learned her English from her young son. It is touching that she planted flowers on the graves, as was your description of her new hairdo after decades! -Joan

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2012

Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review and awesome 6 stars. I am pleased you like Grandmother.

reply by Joan E. on 24-Mar-2012

Yes, she is an intriguing new character in your great cast! -Joan

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

Paragraph 20:... Marie (Anne) [Ellen] Some confusion in other paragraphs too. After all the horror, it is nice to have a feel good incident although the grandmother's suffering in the past is painful to read about. Giddy

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012

I'll double check but I thought I caught them all. I am so pleased you continue to enjoy--if that is the right word--this story.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Alexandru did some terrible things too, and they - add comma
I know it was the only place she ever called home, but - add comma
I also knew Mom, Susan and Charlie would have to agree, but - add comma
I wanted to visit with Mom, and add comma
an equal number of aids surrounding - aides
One of the aids left - aides
They cut it very short, and - add comma
What a touching closing - you've made me cry again :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012

Thank you so much, once again, for catching all the spags. I am pleased you continue to follow this story.

Comment from Alaskastory

Excellent

'Grandmother Tells Dad's Secret' is a chapter that deserves more FS stars than I have for it for more than one reason. One big reason is your list of characters -- a great help to people like me with weak memory. Also, this chapter shows James with great sympathy for his grandmother. Super job, Sasha.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012

Thank you. Readers were getting confused (myself included) about who was who so I thought a character list might help.

Comment from Showboat

Excellent

Hi Sasha,

I really enjoyed this chapter and I'm glad you're exploring the grandmother as you are.

Couple of things to call to your attention: bury - one 'r'.
In the 'List of Characters' you spell 'Adian' as 'Adain' - also, genius.

Okay, great job, I'm off for another!

Hugs,
Gayle

Now bear with me as I'm blonde, but I'm confused about who Adian is. In the list, you say he's also Dark, but if that's the case, how do he and Dark fight about speaking English at the house.

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012

I meant Alexandu, thanks for catching that.

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

What that poor woman is going through... it's hard to imagine living completely alone and not seeing a soul...
let alone having no water and such...

I am fine(,) Grandmother
I thought [it] about it for - lose first "it"

reminded her," You - move inverted commas along next to You

(")He dug a hole
Alexandru burry - bury
surrounding the bed(,) trying to get
I knew she like(d) how - add "d"

Most enjoyable, Sasha...

Margaret

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012

Thanks so much for catching "all" the spags. I should never post when I am tired!!!