Comment from Maguy Daoud

Excellent

Wow. I like this story so much really, and I love the structure of narrating attitude, it has both of fiction and turning this to real... Everyone of us searching a lovable family... And Freddy the fox has just found one.
I think and if you could make new chapters for this lovely story, I'm gonna tell it nightly to my little daughter.

 Comment Written 23-May-2013

Comment from sparkie67

Exceptional

I really enjoyed reading your story. I don't know if the teachers read to the classroom anymore I know they did when I
was young.
Kids need to know that love is where the home is. I like the way you used Raccoons and foxes to get your point across. Well done. Keep up the good work.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2012

Comment from TammyGail

Excellent

I read your little fox tale while my Evan
was splashing like a fish in bubbles ...lol
you held his att... he loved it
thanks for sharing a wonderful story with us
happy to see you won the contest :)

 Comment Written 23-Jun-2012

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reply by the author on 23-Jun-2012

Thanks so much TammyGail, for your wonderful words...I am so glad Evan enjoyed my story...blessings to you and yours.

Comment from elliejean

Excellent

I love the picture. I love the story. All people are different,even from their own family members. Different is great. Love comes from the heart, not because you look like someone. Good story.

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2012

Comment from Allison78

Excellent

I think this is a really nice piece of writing here! It's very sweet and has a lovely lesson. The only thing I didn't get was why they lived in a house. Otherwise, I think it's well written!

 Comment Written 29-Mar-2012

Comment from xxjsfuncxxxity

Excellent

Very entertaining and funny. Loved the ending.

Have you considered changing the name of the Ricky Raccoon character?

I would, since it's awfully close to the Beatles Rocky Raccoon.

Great story.

cheers
js

 Comment Written 23-Mar-2012

Comment from mumsyone

Good

This is a cute story, with a good lesson for kids; however, the dialogue needs work as far as punctuation is concerned. I've pointed out some places where punctuation needs to be added or changed, and where you need caps, but I didn't edit the entire story. I think you'll be able to tell by what I've pointed out, how to finish the editing yourself. Again, it's a good story.

``Come on(,) Freddy. Get up! It's almost time for breakfast and you know mom (Mom) doesn't like it when we're late.``
``Yes(,) I know.(,)`` Papa Raccoon had responded.
``Of course he will.(,)`` Papa Raccoon had answered.
Not all of it(,) of course(,) but enough so that they know to accept Freddy
``Freddy! Ricky! Come on downstairs(,) my darlings, breakfast is ready.(,)`` Mama Raccoon called.

Ricky jumped on Freddy(,) tickling him until he laughed.
``I'm not going to tell you two again.(,)`` Mama Raccoon yelled up the stairs. ``If you're not down in one minute(,) then I will assume you're not hungry!``
``Come on(,) Freddy. I don't know about you(,) but I'm starving.``
Ricky jumped off of the bed(,) taking the blankets with him. Freddy got out of bed(,) and the two of them ran down stairs to eat breakfast.
``Yep. Got away just in time.(,)`` He (he) was saying.
``Got away from who(,) dad (Dad)?`` Ricky asked.
``Charlie the coyote.(,)`` His (his) father responded.
``But I want to know what a coyote is.(,)`` she demanded swallowing her breakfast.
New paragraph: Papa Raccoon could hear the trembling in Freddy's voice as he fought to be brave.
He was not afraid(,) for it's (its) voice was so gentle and it's (its) eyes so warm(,) he knew it was not here to harm him.
``Who(,) Charlie?`` Fantasia began laughing.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012

Thanks for reading and reviewing mumsyone...I appreciate your comments. You are the first one to point out all of the errors I seem to have made in the punctuation. I will go back and take a look. Again, thanks for reviewing...blessings.

Comment from cheyennewy

Excellent

Hi Mystery Author,

I love everything about this story and the message is poignant and a good lesson to all who reads it. You have great skills as a writer and story teller. I am glad Freddy made the decision to stay with the Raccoons who loved him as much as his own kind could. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012

Thanks so much chey, for your wonderful review...I truly appreciate your comments...blessings.

Comment from misscookie

Excellent

I l.ove this story very much and the message within this story is so rue. this would make a lovely children story teaching children the may look different but the love they have from their adopted or foresrt parent can be more or just the same. this is a good write.

 Comment Written 22-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 22-Mar-2012

Thanks so much misscookie, for reading and reviewing...I am so glad you enjoyed my story...blessings.

reply by misscookie on 22-Mar-2012

It was my pleasure.

Comment from rjuselius

Excellent

this is a fine story about adoption. to tell a child they are adopted, this could be an informative way. i liked the story and it was an ease to read.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2012