My personal 'Letterman' Ten
dawdling away the afternoon24 total reviews
Comment from ShirleyT
I absolutely love it, especially number three and eight. I also like the way you ended your list on an encouraging note.
reply by the author on 29-May-2014
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I absolutely love it, especially number three and eight. I also like the way you ended your list on an encouraging note.
Comment Written 29-May-2014
reply by the author on 29-May-2014
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I was just having fun. Thanks.
Comment from Skyangel02
You asked me to come and read this so I did. I am leaving you a note to say FOO was here. This is not my kind of humor. It did not make me laugh. I have read stuff like this before which is much funnier. The day you make me laugh I will give you five stars.
To disarm anyone you can always put on a false smile, grit your teeth and be as nice as you can to them while saying the exact opposite to what you are really thinking.
To make someone into a better lover, be a better lover yourself instead of moaning all day.
To distract anyone at all from whatever they are supposed to be doing, make them feel obligated to listen to all your religious preaching. Tell them you are just practising and would like their critique so they feel like you really care about their opinion as you bible bash them to boredom.
If summoned to any place, take your time and don't rush. Make people learn that you do not drop everything the second they call for you. When you do finally get to them, make them feel like they are privileged to have your company because you really are much too busy to play their games.
Instead of yelling at anyone, clap loudly and cheer to make them feel like they are the center of your attention. Then ask them how you can help them.
If you overhear anyone complaining about anything at all throw your arms in the air and scream. "I've had enough of all your whining"
When anyone ask personal questions just tell them the answer is personal and they don't need to wait for a reply.
If a telephone salesperson harasses you with offers to buy something, tell him you don't speak his language and could he please put someone on the line who speaks yours.
Agree with everyone who tells you what an idiot you are. Don't bother asking them for any help but understand they are merely looking at their own reflection in your eyes. They have no clue what they are saying. Forgive them.
Never be your own worst enemy. Make others hate you instead. They can hate you a lot more than you hate yourself. Call it self sacrifice.
Is there anything else I can help you with besides giving you all these tips on how to get rid of annoying people?
What else did you want me to do ? Visit Captain Jack ? I will make an effort when I get time to take a break from my very busy schedule and see if he can make me laugh since you failed at it.
However,I do find you slightly amusing. You are doing really well. Good job. Keep practicing. Practice makes perfect. I am applauding your efforts. ;-) Try harder next time. ;-)
I hope I gave you your two cents worth of review or unsolicited advice or whatever you wish to call it. If you think I should give you more for your money, please let me know and I will give you more next time.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
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You asked me to come and read this so I did. I am leaving you a note to say FOO was here. This is not my kind of humor. It did not make me laugh. I have read stuff like this before which is much funnier. The day you make me laugh I will give you five stars.
To disarm anyone you can always put on a false smile, grit your teeth and be as nice as you can to them while saying the exact opposite to what you are really thinking.
To make someone into a better lover, be a better lover yourself instead of moaning all day.
To distract anyone at all from whatever they are supposed to be doing, make them feel obligated to listen to all your religious preaching. Tell them you are just practising and would like their critique so they feel like you really care about their opinion as you bible bash them to boredom.
If summoned to any place, take your time and don't rush. Make people learn that you do not drop everything the second they call for you. When you do finally get to them, make them feel like they are privileged to have your company because you really are much too busy to play their games.
Instead of yelling at anyone, clap loudly and cheer to make them feel like they are the center of your attention. Then ask them how you can help them.
If you overhear anyone complaining about anything at all throw your arms in the air and scream. "I've had enough of all your whining"
When anyone ask personal questions just tell them the answer is personal and they don't need to wait for a reply.
If a telephone salesperson harasses you with offers to buy something, tell him you don't speak his language and could he please put someone on the line who speaks yours.
Agree with everyone who tells you what an idiot you are. Don't bother asking them for any help but understand they are merely looking at their own reflection in your eyes. They have no clue what they are saying. Forgive them.
Never be your own worst enemy. Make others hate you instead. They can hate you a lot more than you hate yourself. Call it self sacrifice.
Is there anything else I can help you with besides giving you all these tips on how to get rid of annoying people?
What else did you want me to do ? Visit Captain Jack ? I will make an effort when I get time to take a break from my very busy schedule and see if he can make me laugh since you failed at it.
However,I do find you slightly amusing. You are doing really well. Good job. Keep practicing. Practice makes perfect. I am applauding your efforts. ;-) Try harder next time. ;-)
I hope I gave you your two cents worth of review or unsolicited advice or whatever you wish to call it. If you think I should give you more for your money, please let me know and I will give you more next time.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2012
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Glad you're having a good time.
Comment from ajdevore
I know I enjoyed this before, but I guess I hadn't rated it. I don't know why I missed you before but I'm becoming a great fan. Thanks for the insight and guidance in your work.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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I know I enjoyed this before, but I guess I hadn't rated it. I don't know why I missed you before but I'm becoming a great fan. Thanks for the insight and guidance in your work.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2012
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Thanks for the visit.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Interesting and funny, but also useful information for those annoying people that seem to find me everyday! LOL
Corrections:
tell them its part/// it's (it is)
bosses' office/// boss' office
gesture and ask. /// change . to a ,
idiot you are. ask//// change . to a ,
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Interesting and funny, but also useful information for those annoying people that seem to find me everyday! LOL
Corrections:
tell them its part/// it's (it is)
bosses' office/// boss' office
gesture and ask. /// change . to a ,
idiot you are. ask//// change . to a ,
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Hope I got them all. Thanks.
Comment from Glasstruth
A great top ten list with humor as well. Loved number eight the best. Made me laugh. Also number five was another good one. Maybe I should try that. Well done! Les
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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A great top ten list with humor as well. Loved number eight the best. Made me laugh. Also number five was another good one. Maybe I should try that. Well done! Les
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Read Captain Jack's story on front page...welll rec'd stories. We started this game and then I came back with a story on orgasms on fron page. It's all good for the laughs.
Comment from Cynthia Tee
After reviewing "The Four Types of Female Orgasm" I just had to read this too! I think No. 2 does it every time my friend. It does not just work while making love, but otherwise as well. Men get off on their egos (just my opinion at times). Well done here friend, bravo. Take care and have a good weekend. Kind regards, Cynthia.
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After reviewing "The Four Types of Female Orgasm" I just had to read this too! I think No. 2 does it every time my friend. It does not just work while making love, but otherwise as well. Men get off on their egos (just my opinion at times). Well done here friend, bravo. Take care and have a good weekend. Kind regards, Cynthia.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
Comment from Spitfire
Actually, you have some great suggestions here, particularly number nine which I use often. It does leave the speaker dumbfounded. Love number eight too. A mixture here of comedy and truth.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Actually, you have some great suggestions here, particularly number nine which I use often. It does leave the speaker dumbfounded. Love number eight too. A mixture here of comedy and truth.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2012
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Thanks for reading. Yes, my tongue in cheek survival guide.
Comment from dbmccarter
Pretty good for someone who was going to do nothing. Love the one about whispering to kids. You are right on about all of them. Lots of fun.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Pretty good for someone who was going to do nothing. Love the one about whispering to kids. You are right on about all of them. Lots of fun.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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hugs,
Comment from reconciled
(lol) Way too funny for prime time. Number two is definetly true, the other nine I haven't put into practic ...yet.(LOL) "instead of yelling at the kids whisper" WOOoooo man..genuis. I'll bet that would work(LOL)Great write tough guy-Michael.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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(lol) Way too funny for prime time. Number two is definetly true, the other nine I haven't put into practic ...yet.(LOL) "instead of yelling at the kids whisper" WOOoooo man..genuis. I'll bet that would work(LOL)Great write tough guy-Michael.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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Michael, my sons name is also Michae and I adore him. You know, the name means in the reflection of God. There's an essay I wrote. co-wrote with my son called "Michael's Life Decision" It's about 5 or 6 pages back into my portfolio. I guess if I had to pick one story that is meaningful to me, this is the one. It doesn't pay squat. And as for whispering, it really does work. They need to lean in to hear, putting you into perfect
"I'll smack your ass" position."
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(LOL) I like you..I think I would like to become a fan what ya think? Hey! wait a minute, I read in a book that the name Michael in (Hebrew) means: "Who is like God" not a question a statement. You know like There's is noone like God No? Which is it? anyway I'll see you in a minute-
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He's 37....I forget, but once knew.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
I don't know how I missed this, Ingrid, but I'm glad Jack's essay reminded me to look. Well written and all that - and I can't wait for the air duct cleaning guy to call. That was worth the 6 all by itself! Thank you for the combination of good advice and laughter. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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I don't know how I missed this, Ingrid, but I'm glad Jack's essay reminded me to look. Well written and all that - and I can't wait for the air duct cleaning guy to call. That was worth the 6 all by itself! Thank you for the combination of good advice and laughter. :) Nancy
Comment Written 16-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2012
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hugs