Sink
An Earlette of Lament ...38 total reviews
Comment from Judian James
Oh, I hope this isn't true about you and your FS buddy that you actually had a chance to meet. That would be so sad. A very, VERY nice Earlette. Perfectly executed with your message well conveyed. (Do you remember my piece, "Testimony"? Oh, how I understand this one)
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Oh, I hope this isn't true about you and your FS buddy that you actually had a chance to meet. That would be so sad. A very, VERY nice Earlette. Perfectly executed with your message well conveyed. (Do you remember my piece, "Testimony"? Oh, how I understand this one)
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Nope its not Jude...don't panic...I even sent that person a message first to ensure they didn't think that...WE are all good. I love the Earlette adaptation to the Sonnet and lent itself perfectly for the extra I had to say...I just hope this person reads it at some point. Guess I'll not know unless I get a response...then again if I don't I'll know something else won't I? Never mind. We live and learn. Sometimes people don't want to risk that pain twice. Can't blame them I say, however I know when I'm wrong and will be the first to admit when I've been a little fookin shit. Love ya, thanks for your terrific supportive ear. Most appreciated sweety girl.
Cheers Clo xoxo
Comment from Spitfire
This could apply to so many types of relationships. Stanza two captures the depth of your friendship. I like it that you leave it to the reader's imagination as to what went wrong. That leaves the poem open to universal audience. If you can't sleep, you know you need to fix things right. A powerful message for those who can't forgive.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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This could apply to so many types of relationships. Stanza two captures the depth of your friendship. I like it that you leave it to the reader's imagination as to what went wrong. That leaves the poem open to universal audience. If you can't sleep, you know you need to fix things right. A powerful message for those who can't forgive.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much my friend. Now I just gotta get this person to read it and I might have a chance...otherwise we is doomed baby.
Never mind, you live and learn...maybe oneday down the track this person may forgive me...funny thing neither of us were actually shitty at each other. Its a long and involved story and I can't get into it here suffice to say I miss my friend and rightly want them back. Not sure that will happen though.
I'll live in hope for a bit.
Cheers and thanks for your support.
Closet xoxo
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I thoroughly enjoyed this,
my friend, so beautifully
written - the content, the
flow to the words, and to
both rhythm and rhyme, all
excellent.
all in all, most impressive... and I just wish
I had a six it so deserves.
Margaret
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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I thoroughly enjoyed this,
my friend, so beautifully
written - the content, the
flow to the words, and to
both rhythm and rhyme, all
excellent.
all in all, most impressive... and I just wish
I had a six it so deserves.
Margaret
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Why thankyou Margaret...I very much appreciate your sixer wish but most of all your encouraging comments.
I just wish my friend would return...I'll live in hope I guess.
Cheers and thanks a million.
Closet xo
Comment from sgalletti
Fabulous, my friend! Excellent rhyme and meter throughout and I love the message. The extra stanza does contribute and I understand why you like it :)...Hugs, Sue
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Fabulous, my friend! Excellent rhyme and meter throughout and I love the message. The extra stanza does contribute and I understand why you like it :)...Hugs, Sue
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Wow thanks Sue...I really appreciate the sixer review and thoughtful comments. I needed the extra stanza...believe me.
Oh ... of course you do. HAHAHA...
Have a great day cos you just made mine.
Cheers Phillippa xoxo
Comment from Frankeddy
Your foot notes explains the format of the poem.
Well written and hopefully well thought out.
You did a lot of work getting it all together in good order.
You still worked your gift of rhyming in there very nicely.
Well done. Frankeddy
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Your foot notes explains the format of the poem.
Well written and hopefully well thought out.
You did a lot of work getting it all together in good order.
You still worked your gift of rhyming in there very nicely.
Well done. Frankeddy
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much Ed...hope I get it worked out. I appreciate your thoughful review.
Closet xo
Comment from Maustin
A moving work. It is amazing how friendships can be strong for a time then weak. True friendships are few. The tests happen when troubles arise to determine if friend will stay or go. Well written.
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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A moving work. It is amazing how friendships can be strong for a time then weak. True friendships are few. The tests happen when troubles arise to determine if friend will stay or go. Well written.
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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The friendship WAS strong...a little TOO strong. There in lies the prob. Not sure how to go back..thats why its sometimes easier to set it free...however I WANT my FRIEND back.
Just my friend...thats all.
Cheers and thanks so much.
Closet
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So welcome. If friend is true, then friend will return
Comment from Amy Comstock
Whether this is a bio or not, it is good! It shows us just how important true friendship is. You wrote something here that we can all relate to!
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Whether this is a bio or not, it is good! It shows us just how important true friendship is. You wrote something here that we can all relate to!
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Thankyou so much. Yes, friendship is way to important to throw away which is what I practically did...long story, bad ending. Big regrets. Thanks again.
Cheers Closet
Comment from Warren Rodgers
CPJ,
What a very touching poem you have penned here, my friend.
Excellent rhymes an cadence throughout your poem. Check me on one line that sounded off at the beginning .. "Then prior advice..." I think Prior is two syllables but I could be wrong, just wanted to mention it to ya. I love when you write your funny bawdy material and you do it so well, but it is a special moment when I read one like this gorgeous poem. Big kudos to Earl for his "Earlette" format, that guy is so talented I feel fortunate to call both of you my friends. I don't know if this is biographical or not but it feels like it is by the emotion that oozes out of your words. Hey, we're all human and things happen, unintentionally we hurt the ones we love sometimes but that's life and we learn along the way. That's what your poem says to me. You've come up with some
wonderful original phrases for this poem. Your first verse is a great introduction to what is coming up, second verse is superb, as are all that follow. My favorite line is
"You reinstilled my faith in kindred ground" ..beautiful!
Your couplet shows hope for the future while realizing the impact of the split. This poem really shines with your talent and shows anyone who is fortunate enough to read it how versatile you are as a writer.
All my best wishes
Cheers octobud!
Waaaazzzaaa
xoxo
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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CPJ,
What a very touching poem you have penned here, my friend.
Excellent rhymes an cadence throughout your poem. Check me on one line that sounded off at the beginning .. "Then prior advice..." I think Prior is two syllables but I could be wrong, just wanted to mention it to ya. I love when you write your funny bawdy material and you do it so well, but it is a special moment when I read one like this gorgeous poem. Big kudos to Earl for his "Earlette" format, that guy is so talented I feel fortunate to call both of you my friends. I don't know if this is biographical or not but it feels like it is by the emotion that oozes out of your words. Hey, we're all human and things happen, unintentionally we hurt the ones we love sometimes but that's life and we learn along the way. That's what your poem says to me. You've come up with some
wonderful original phrases for this poem. Your first verse is a great introduction to what is coming up, second verse is superb, as are all that follow. My favorite line is
"You reinstilled my faith in kindred ground" ..beautiful!
Your couplet shows hope for the future while realizing the impact of the split. This poem really shines with your talent and shows anyone who is fortunate enough to read it how versatile you are as a writer.
All my best wishes
Cheers octobud!
Waaaazzzaaa
xoxo
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Awww Wazza thankyou. I won't go into detail here but suffice to say you are a perceptive individual...I love Earl's writing so much and you two are my favourite flawless (bloody flawless) special writer friends. I'd pay to read both of you. I can NEVER pick a heavy spot, ever...you are both legends and nice to see you get on great too...he is such a hoot huh?
Thanks so much for the sixer buddy and have yourself a nice day. I am glad you were touched by my write. Lets hope the person its for is.
Cheers Phillippa xoxoxo
Comment from despiser
make up your mind SHEESH!
Melancholy Bunk... and I mean that in a good way, even if it doesn't sound like it LOL.
Packed with emotion, nicely penned. I'd be more impressed with the reverse volta if i knew what a forward one was (electricity? Like putting your jumper cables on backward? Ouch!)
Great write cpJ
-DEE
xox
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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make up your mind SHEESH!
Melancholy Bunk... and I mean that in a good way, even if it doesn't sound like it LOL.
Packed with emotion, nicely penned. I'd be more impressed with the reverse volta if i knew what a forward one was (electricity? Like putting your jumper cables on backward? Ouch!)
Great write cpJ
-DEE
xox
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2012
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Aww thanks DEE, cute review...Melancholy cpJfBW...okay, I concede. Yes, a little emotion. LOL Okay a ton. Friendships are very valuable and we need to treasure them.
I've had a stressful coupla months due to a bunch of stuff outside fs...now whats this about jumper leads and just what are you putting them on?? LOL Fanx for da six...I appweciate it.
Wabbs
xoxo
Comment from psalmist
I don't think I've seen this expanded version before. Nicely done. A bittersweet journey through the devotion, hurts, healing and forgiveness of a relationship. Who among us hasn't been there at one time or another?
The only suggestions I might make: in the first verse you used "end" twice, perhaps a different rhyme? The other word I was wondering about is discord. Here we put the stress on DIS-cord which would change the meter of that line from iambic to trochaic. I know words are sometimes pronounced a little differently in different parts of the world, so forgive me if that is the case here.
I really like how you end it on a note of hope for a reconciliation. Well done. Linda
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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I don't think I've seen this expanded version before. Nicely done. A bittersweet journey through the devotion, hurts, healing and forgiveness of a relationship. Who among us hasn't been there at one time or another?
The only suggestions I might make: in the first verse you used "end" twice, perhaps a different rhyme? The other word I was wondering about is discord. Here we put the stress on DIS-cord which would change the meter of that line from iambic to trochaic. I know words are sometimes pronounced a little differently in different parts of the world, so forgive me if that is the case here.
I really like how you end it on a note of hope for a reconciliation. Well done. Linda
Comment Written 10-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2012
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Oh lordy, I didn't even notice that!!! Thankyou thankyou thankyou...do you know I have read it twenty times over and didn't notice the dual "end" thing?... So thankyou for your keen eye my friend...I just changed that whole line...for the better too, so I love you for that. Also discord over here I believe is disCORD, although I said it both ways and it sounds okay so not sure what I will do with that one. Arrrggghhh! More decisons! LOL Hmmm, I'll go take another look...thanks for all your help Linda and a damn fine review.
Love and big hugs...Phillippa xoxo
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You are quite welcome. I do the same thing, read something over and over, only to have someone find something I missed. But hey, even the highest paid authors have editors and proofreaders, right?
