Comment from Alaskastory

Excellent

'Mac Makes a Deal' is a chapter that moves ahead with description of "Fife" and James reaction to him and Mac. Conversatons very well done, Sasha.

typo: "I bet if you[r] check your inbox...

period needed: "C'mon, Mac. Just answer the question(.)[,]"

Really good chapter. Marie

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 08-Mar-2012

Thanks for catching the spags. I am pleased you liked this chapter.

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Once again you have done a very good job writing this post. I can't wait to see how you portray the emotion of James questioning his mom.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012

Thanks so much. It should be an emotional chapter.

Comment from hyway94

Excellent

Truth to be said. Now I don't know who said it but it sure works into this chapter. The question is what are we about to find out about James Father. I think we will find out that he most likley kill his mom and dad. Just a guess.

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012

There is lot to learn about dear old Dad's dad. I am posting another chapter today.

Comment from Cranial Thinker

Excellent

This is flowing so extremely well and I truly believe you
should conceder turning this story into a real movie as I
feel it would make for a big block buster turn out for sure....I am truly loving the way James is using his mind and the easy going nature he has developed with Mac,they are
proving to be two peas in a pot,sort of matching minds and
brainstorming technics one another,both trying so hard to
get to the bottom of the truth....I am beginning to sound just like a broken record;but I am truly enjoying this immensely my friend,thank you so much for writing this....Cranial Thinker

 Comment Written 07-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 07-Mar-2012

I like you description of Mac and James being two peas in a pod...very, appropriate. I am thrilled you like this and don't worry, I love broken records.

Comment from Halfree

Excellent

Ok I screwed up on last review, should have been a five; sorry 'bout that. This is well done, better than the preceding. Good interplay between the characters and you are slowing letting the relationship between these two develop...good writing.
Certainly keeps the reader, at least this one, involved.

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012

You can go back and change it to a 5 if you want. Glad you liked this one.

Comment from cheyennewy

Excellent

Hi Smurph,

In the line below I think you mean "check your" instead of "check you"

I really enjoyed this chapter. I can't help but think James is good at solving problems and Mac should listen to him. I can't imagine what his mom and Aunt Em are hiding about his dad. How much worse could things be? If you want to give me a hint I promise I won't tell! (smile) Well done....****** blessings, chey

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012

Whenever you ask how much worse can things get, you are bound to find out they can often get a lot worse.

reply by cheyennewy on 06-Mar-2012

Oh No!!

Comment from psalmist

Excellent

The Andy Griffith Show is one of my all time favorite TV shows. Loved Barney. I continue to be caught up in the drama and suspense of this story. Mac may be irritated by James, but he hasn't met my Jonathan who speaks a language all his own, lol. I am looking forward to finding out what James' mom and aunt know. Linda

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012

Hopefully I will be posting another chapter tomorrow.

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Again - a great chapter,
Sasha.. I hung on every
word... I think I'm upto
where you left off before...


I few typos...
I bet if your check you inbox
I bet if YOU check YOUR inbox

voice barely above a whisper(,) I said - comma
You go first[,](;) what did they - semi-colon
why I felt so at easy - ease


Margaret

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012

Thanks for catching the spags. I am pleased you continue to enjoy this.

Comment from Devados

Excellent

YO SMURF... Another good read. I easily get caught up in the story even though I am coming in at the middle. Are you planning to have James enter law enforcement after this venture is over? More plots there. Increase his intuition and you have a crime solver. Following you...Del

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012

Thanks I am pleased you enjoyed this .

Comment from InterestingRon

Excellent

Hi Smurphy
I seem to remember reading an earlier version of this chapter. But the present one is much clearer and moves at a greater pace.
I like the added mystery. What happened to the missing babysitter? I'm sure you'll let us know.
Ron

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2012

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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2012

Yes, that will come later. I am pleased find this version cleaner and moving as a faster pace.