Reviews from

The Heir Apparent

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Unexpected Guests"
A family learns their father is a serial killer

27 total reviews 
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
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Uncle Mark[Terry?] shook his head. "Typical." 

With his elbows on the table and his chin resting on his hands, Uncle Mark[Terry?] smiled. "When your Mom gets back, I want to talk to her about taking you and

I knew Uncle Terry meant well[,] and not wanting to offend him, I just smiled and said, "I'll think about it." 

"He says she is still traumatized[,] and until she talks about her feelings about Dad, he believes she is a time bomb waiting to go off again." 

I hated lying[,] but since

Still good. Keep up the good work.

Roberta

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 02-Mar-2012
    Thanks for catching the mistake in names and the commas. I'll go back and make the changes.
Comment from hyway94
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The time has come for the family to come together andstand up for each other. In stead of hiding this and that. Like James going to see Mary-ellen and Mac. I guess we'll see what you have come up with.

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
    They are floundering. No self-help books on what to do under these situations. But I agree, they do need to start pulling together.
Comment from Showboat
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I really enjoyed this chapter, Sasha. Just about the only thing I can add is to use contractions wherever they're appropriate. Other than that, great job, m'dear.

Hugs,
Gayle

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
    Thanks. I'll go back over this one and try to fix that.
Comment from Readywriter52
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James' mother has decided to speak to the press on the recommendation of Mr. Hurley. When James announces that he will speak to the press, she doesn't want him to. I agree with James. No matter what she says, someone will disagree with her. It is good that his Aunt and Uncle have come to lend their moral support.

 Comment Written 01-Mar-2012


reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
    Yes, the family needs all the support they can get right now.
Comment from Veronica Grace
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MOre and more surprises for the family. I can't wait to sse what else you have in store for us. I saw nothing to change or crit. See you next time!

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
    Thanks so much. I am pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from words
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It is such a pleasure to be reading your novel again.

Even though, I know the story ... I still read each new installment with much anticipation.

I know the horrifying discoveries that they are going to find at the cabin. This is so well told.

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
    I have made some major changes so you may still find some surprises ahead. I am pleased you are enjoying this.
Comment from psalmist
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Again, another great chapter. Terrific job drawing the reader in and making the characters interesting and empathetic. I am anxious to see how James' meeting goes with Mary Ellen. Looking forward to your next post. Linda

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
    I hope to post the next chapter today or tomorrow. I am pleased you liked this one.
Comment from Alaskastory
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'Unexpected Guests' is a chapter that brings in new characters and you use them to add even more interest and source of scene changes.

should be Mary Ellen not Ann: 'I wasn't ready to tell anyone what Dad said about Mary [Ann] (Ellen).

Really good chapter! Marie

 Comment Written 29-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 29-Feb-2012
    No, it's Mary Ellen. Thanks for catching that.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
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I really feel you captured the fragility of James' mother in this chapter. I felt a strong sense of her previous oppression from her husband, and the suffering she hid for many years. Giddy

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
    It is going to take a long time for Mom to fully recover and learn to stand on her own. I am so pleased you liked this one.
Comment from cheyennewy
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Hi Smurph,

This is another intriguing chapter. I am glad that Terry and Emily showed up to offer their support. This poor family needs all the help they can get. I don't know if the idea to speak to the press is a good or bad decision. But if James is there and willing to talk first perhaps he will say what needs to be said which would take some of the pressure off his mom's shoulders and she may not have to say anything. I don't blame her for feeling fearful. Each chapter you write becomes even more intriguing and I find that it is hard for me to wait for the next! Well done....blessings, chey ******

 Comment Written 28-Feb-2012


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
    Thanks. James still has to meet with his girlfriend and Mac before talking to the media. Busy time for him.