The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "The Demon and his Son Speak"A family learns their father is a serial killer
23 total reviews
Comment from words
Wow!
What an emotion filled and powerful chapter.
I am having the greatest of fun catching up on the story.
I want to punch James' father in the face for him. LOL
Wonderfully done,
Hugs, d
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2012
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Wow!
What an emotion filled and powerful chapter.
I am having the greatest of fun catching up on the story.
I want to punch James' father in the face for him. LOL
Wonderfully done,
Hugs, d
Comment Written 02-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2012
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When writing this I literally tried to put myself into James's shoes. It was an emotional chapter for me too.
Comment from Showboat
Okay, caught up now. I've been so busy I guess this one just slipped through the cracks. All up to speed.
Very good showing of poor James. Obviously the father is just trying to hurt James even further because, at least so far, Mary Ellen is alive and well and not a victim.
Okay, we'll see. Taps foot. More, please!
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
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Okay, caught up now. I've been so busy I guess this one just slipped through the cracks. All up to speed.
Very good showing of poor James. Obviously the father is just trying to hurt James even further because, at least so far, Mary Ellen is alive and well and not a victim.
Okay, we'll see. Taps foot. More, please!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 01-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2012
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I'm glad you liked this chapter. Dad is definitely not done trying to control the family.
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
I have no clear recollection of the time between Mom speaking on the phone with Mr. Hurley[] and my arrival at King County Jail.
I ignored my gut and walked
over to Mr. Hurley, who stood in front of the jail[] waiting for me.
Despite looking tired and unshaven[,] Dad appeared just as he always did; calm, confident, and cocky.
Excellent, excellent. Is she one of his victims or not?
Roberta
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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I have no clear recollection of the time between Mom speaking on the phone with Mr. Hurley[] and my arrival at King County Jail.
I ignored my gut and walked
over to Mr. Hurley, who stood in front of the jail[] waiting for me.
Despite looking tired and unshaven[,] Dad appeared just as he always did; calm, confident, and cocky.
Excellent, excellent. Is she one of his victims or not?
Roberta
Comment Written 28-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2012
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Glad you8 liked this one...you'll have to read the chapter to find out.
Comment from Alaskastory
'The Demon and his Son Speak' is a remarkable chapter, Sasha. You've given it real power though dialogue especially and made me certain of exactly how James is feeling toward his dad. Really well done! Marie
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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'The Demon and his Son Speak' is a remarkable chapter, Sasha. You've given it real power though dialogue especially and made me certain of exactly how James is feeling toward his dad. Really well done! Marie
Comment Written 27-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review and awesome 6 stars. I am the thrilled you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from axelbeariter
the sky was a blanket of dark clouds that felt like an omen telling me to get back into the car and return to the hotel./Nice----I am so glad I didn't say that out loud!/Great!----You have produced another gripping chapter. I could literally see the whole scene in my head. Great going----Wish I had a sixer, but I'll make it up later.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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the sky was a blanket of dark clouds that felt like an omen telling me to get back into the car and return to the hotel./Nice----I am so glad I didn't say that out loud!/Great!----You have produced another gripping chapter. I could literally see the whole scene in my head. Great going----Wish I had a sixer, but I'll make it up later.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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I am so pleased you liked this one. The build up was a big one and I was concerned with it being a let down.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Hello,
Whoa!
This is intense!
Great descriptions.
Great dialogue too.
Wonderful and creepy and suspenseful ending.
Katie
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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Hello,
Whoa!
This is intense!
Great descriptions.
Great dialogue too.
Wonderful and creepy and suspenseful ending.
Katie
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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Yeah, Dad is really a piece of work isn't he. Rough day for poor James.
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yes indeed.
Comment from psalmist
Wow! This was riveting. I heard, once, that courage/bravery does not mean a person is unafraid or fearful, but rather the ability to overcome that fear and do what is necessary. This certainly seems to describe Jamse. I really like the analogies you used in this paragraph: The sound of our footsteps echoed off the walls like church bells announcing the start of High Mass... Large beads of sweat dripped off my nose and chin, leaving a trail Hansel and Gretel could have followed with their eyes closed...
And what a way to end the chapter. Talk about leaving the reading hanging and wanting more! Well done. Linda
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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Wow! This was riveting. I heard, once, that courage/bravery does not mean a person is unafraid or fearful, but rather the ability to overcome that fear and do what is necessary. This certainly seems to describe Jamse. I really like the analogies you used in this paragraph: The sound of our footsteps echoed off the walls like church bells announcing the start of High Mass... Large beads of sweat dripped off my nose and chin, leaving a trail Hansel and Gretel could have followed with their eyes closed...
And what a way to end the chapter. Talk about leaving the reading hanging and wanting more! Well done. Linda
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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Thank you so, so much. I am thrilled you enjoyed this very tense chapter.
Comment from emmaysavage
your ending left me waiting forthe next part. It is good to see how you portray the dark emotions coming from this very bright, usually so solidly practical boy.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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your ending left me waiting forthe next part. It is good to see how you portray the dark emotions coming from this very bright, usually so solidly practical boy.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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James is obviously very bright but socially he has a lot to learn. Too much time in books and not enough out in the real world.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I love the hook you left here. Once again you did a great job with emotion and descriptions.
Susan is in the hospital, Charlie is angry, Mom wants a divorce and James wants to speak with his dad. ( laughed at this. It's short, sweet, and to the point.)
I ignored my gut and walked over to Mr. Hurley, who was standing in front of the jail, waiting for me. (This is passive, you can make it active very easily, I ignored my gut and walked over to Mr. Hurley, who stood in front of the jail and waited for me.)
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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I love the hook you left here. Once again you did a great job with emotion and descriptions.
Susan is in the hospital, Charlie is angry, Mom wants a divorce and James wants to speak with his dad. ( laughed at this. It's short, sweet, and to the point.)
I ignored my gut and walked over to Mr. Hurley, who was standing in front of the jail, waiting for me. (This is passive, you can make it active very easily, I ignored my gut and walked over to Mr. Hurley, who stood in front of the jail and waited for me.)
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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Thanks for catching that. I am so pleased you continue to enjoy this.
Comment from RebelRose
Well, I guess this means you are up and running again. This is another great chapter. I don't recall the part about Mary Ellen. Is that new or did I just forget? Man, James' father is one sicko.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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Well, I guess this means you are up and running again. This is another great chapter. I don't recall the part about Mary Ellen. Is that new or did I just forget? Man, James' father is one sicko.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2012
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In the previous version, James didn't have a girlfriend. In that one, Mary Ellen was the babysitter that disappeared years earlier.