The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Chaos"A family learns their father is a serial killer
26 total reviews
Comment from Alaskastory
'A Taste of Chaos' is a chapter that seemed all new to me. It is a super addition to show what each member of the family (including Susan) are trying to cope. James' reaction and Mom's to both Charlie and Susan gives them more depth. Very well done, Sasha.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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'A Taste of Chaos' is a chapter that seemed all new to me. It is a super addition to show what each member of the family (including Susan) are trying to cope. James' reaction and Mom's to both Charlie and Susan gives them more depth. Very well done, Sasha.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2012
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I've rewritten this so many times, I have lost track of what is new and what is old. Thanks so much for the awesome 6 stars. I am thrilled you enjoyed this one.
Comment from psalmist
Another great chapter, Smurph. Watching the news, I sometimes wonder if reporters have any compassion at all for how people feel. It's all about "the people's right to know." I do like the way you ended this one on a lighter note, brothers bonding and laughing together. Linda
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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Another great chapter, Smurph. Watching the news, I sometimes wonder if reporters have any compassion at all for how people feel. It's all about "the people's right to know." I do like the way you ended this one on a lighter note, brothers bonding and laughing together. Linda
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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As you can probably tell, I am not a great fan of reporters.
Comment from Cranial Thinker
I truly loved every minute of this again feeling the seriousness of the things that are going on within their
family life....The actual growth of a claustrophobic feeling
not being able to express themselves openly anymore and not
being able to live free exercising their rights living in
a free country bolstering endless opportunities for every one,but now seemingly found guilty by reason of association
to the one charged in the actual crime....Wow !!!! this is
so mind bending and extremely well penned my friend....Cranial Thinker
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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I truly loved every minute of this again feeling the seriousness of the things that are going on within their
family life....The actual growth of a claustrophobic feeling
not being able to express themselves openly anymore and not
being able to live free exercising their rights living in
a free country bolstering endless opportunities for every one,but now seemingly found guilty by reason of association
to the one charged in the actual crime....Wow !!!! this is
so mind bending and extremely well penned my friend....Cranial Thinker
Comment Written 16-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much.
Comment from CHarte
This is another well written chapter. The story is moving along well. The pace is good and the editing is great. There are no SPAG to be found.
Collette
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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This is another well written chapter. The story is moving along well. The pace is good and the editing is great. There are no SPAG to be found.
Collette
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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I am so pleased you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from hyway94
Sense you're writing this, have you ever thought of what it would be like if you were James? I know the torment he's going through with the reporters and all. What can I say? great chapter.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Sense you're writing this, have you ever thought of what it would be like if you were James? I know the torment he's going through with the reporters and all. What can I say? great chapter.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Yes, I have spent many, many hours trying to imagine if I were James. This is a story that has been mulling around in my head for many years. Glad you liked it.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What a horrific ordeal to be
questioned about being the son
of a murderer....
a well presented chapter, Sasha.
[s](S)taring at the phone,
Margaret
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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What a horrific ordeal to be
questioned about being the son
of a murderer....
a well presented chapter, Sasha.
[s](S)taring at the phone,
Margaret
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Thanks for catching the spag. I am pleased you liked this chapter.
Comment from Showboat
It's bad enough when you have to answer for your own sins, but when you're attacked for things beyond control, it becomes injustice.
Great job of building our sympathy for this poor beleaguered family. You did it just right, Sasha.
Hugs,
Gayle
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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It's bad enough when you have to answer for your own sins, but when you're attacked for things beyond control, it becomes injustice.
Great job of building our sympathy for this poor beleaguered family. You did it just right, Sasha.
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Thanks. I a pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from Joan E.
I think your minor edits must have worked to increase the intensity of frustration. (I think "Staring at the phone" picked up an extra "r" about a third of the way down.) Your "cement mixer" and "rotten eggs" similes are graphic and effective. -Joan
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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I think your minor edits must have worked to increase the intensity of frustration. (I think "Staring at the phone" picked up an extra "r" about a third of the way down.) Your "cement mixer" and "rotten eggs" similes are graphic and effective. -Joan
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Thanks...I am still the world's worst editor. Glad you liked the changes.
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Valerie:)
This Chapter is certainly well named. Nothing can create chaos faster than the Paparazzi following a sensational news story.Modern photojournalists feed on the misfortunes of others and quickly put word out over all manner of high speed news and social media. In this case all it took to give away the location of the Mathews family was one call by Susan to her boyfriend. The same result could have come from a desk clerk or bell captain who might seell tips to reporters.
When the word gets out, it spreads like a wildfire as the story grows without regard to anyone's feelings. In Wichita, Kansas when a mild seeming church handiman was arrested for twelve bizarre murders, hundreds of reporters converged on the church where the killer had worked for years.
Although Mr. Hurley moved the family to a new hotel, thier picture have been shown across the nation and James knows it will be only a short time until the Paparazzi will track them down and assault them with the same inane questions.
Now chaos is certain to follow the family wherever they go.
Powerful, realistic writing, as usual. ypo alway create good visual imagery for your readers. This is another six star chapter.
Love and Irish hugs.
Roger
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Hi Valerie:)
This Chapter is certainly well named. Nothing can create chaos faster than the Paparazzi following a sensational news story.Modern photojournalists feed on the misfortunes of others and quickly put word out over all manner of high speed news and social media. In this case all it took to give away the location of the Mathews family was one call by Susan to her boyfriend. The same result could have come from a desk clerk or bell captain who might seell tips to reporters.
When the word gets out, it spreads like a wildfire as the story grows without regard to anyone's feelings. In Wichita, Kansas when a mild seeming church handiman was arrested for twelve bizarre murders, hundreds of reporters converged on the church where the killer had worked for years.
Although Mr. Hurley moved the family to a new hotel, thier picture have been shown across the nation and James knows it will be only a short time until the Paparazzi will track them down and assault them with the same inane questions.
Now chaos is certain to follow the family wherever they go.
Powerful, realistic writing, as usual. ypo alway create good visual imagery for your readers. This is another six star chapter.
Love and Irish hugs.
Roger
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Thank you so much for your continued interest in this story. I am pleased you are enjoying it.
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I love the upgrades. The paragraphs and dialog are tighter and truer to the story. I've read it before but am finding details that I did not see before. Excellent work my friend. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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I love the upgrades. The paragraphs and dialog are tighter and truer to the story. I've read it before but am finding details that I did not see before. Excellent work my friend. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 15-Feb-2012
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2012
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Thank you. The changes so far are small the major one will be coming soon.